If the politicians on Capitol Hill are bored and looking for something else baseball-related to do (you know, instead of solving actual important problems), here's a case that probably needs investigating: Just what kind of underhanded deal is going on with Teddy Roosevelt and the Presidents' Race?
For those of you who don't follow such things, the original Rough Rider has never won a race and is 0-for-129 in the almost two-year-old tradition in Washington. TR's drought almost ended on three different occasions this weekend, but, for one shady reason or another, continued.
After the jump, read the damning race descriptions from Let Teddy Win and see why a full-scale Congressional investigation should be launched:
Friday (video above) — "While Wil Nieves was cooking up his late game heroics to lead the Nationals to victory, Teddy was busy blowing it for the 127th consecutive time. Tonight he shot out of the gate with a commanding lead, and looked like he could cruise to victory, but when he came to the outfield turn, he left the warning track and cut across the outfield ... No sooner had he crossed the finish line then the judges announced his disqualification. The boos ensued. Whether people were booing Teddy’s unscrupulous effort or the larger injustice of Teddy’s losing streak is hard to say."
Saturday — "Teddy broke from the pack just as he had done the night before. However, on this night, he stuck to the rules and ran a clean race. No cheating, no cutting the outfield corners, just looking like he was going to hang onto the lead from wire to wire. That’s when the panther — yes, a panther — pounced out from the stands and tackled him, stunning the crowd and bringing a chorus of boos as the other presidents raced by."
(Great photo courtesy of Miss Chatter at Just a Nats Fan)
Sunday — " ... Teddy dashed out once again in front of George, Tom, and Abe; but as he made the turn around the warning track by the foul pole, a banana in pajamas ran out onto the field and laid right in Teddy’s path. “Look out, Teddy!” the announcer yelled, but it was too late. Teddy slipped on the banana, turning a sure-thing victory into a quite unappealing defeat ... Yesterday’s panther attack was humiliation enough. Now one of the greatest presidents in U.S. history is being made the butt of a giant banana peel joke."
- Teddy Roosevelt