Let's load the Rays and Phillies on the next plane to O'Hare and finish Game 5 at Chicago's Wrigley Field.
Wait, wait. Hear me out here.
According to Yahoo! Weather, it's a little bit chilly and cloudy in the Windy City, but it's at least it's not raining.
(Meanwhile, I swear I just saw Kevin Costner and Dennis Hopper floating and fighting their way down Philly's I-95 on a couple of junk battleships.)
I know what you're saying — "'Duk, you just want to get back to Chicago so that you can walk to work, sleep in your own bed and eat things that don't involve a heavy layer of cheese whiz."
You'd be right, of course. Still, the idea stands on other merits unrelated to yours truly.
For one, the Phillies will get the support of a Cubs fanbase that assumed there would be baseball still going on at Wrigley Field in late October. Hungry to see a championship won in front of dead ivy, they'd be eager to offer at least 3 1/2 innings of support for a franchise that might be suffering even longer than the Cubs if it weren't for Tug McGraw striking out Willie Wilson.
In the same vein, baseball and Fox would get a jolt in the ratings for viewers flipping through the channels and believing for a moment that the Cubs somehow did make the World Series. For an even bigger blockbuster, they can dress the Phillies up in Cubs pinstripes and the Rays in Boston's away unis. (And, really, how would that be any harder of a slap to Philly and Tampa Bay fans than starting the games when everyone on the East Coast is starting to think about bed time?)
Finally, Commissioner Selig could add a strange-relocation bookend to having the Astros play up in Milwaukee even when there were other, more logical locations available.
OK, so I suppose none of this would be fair to the Rays, especially since they were already told there was no room at the inn in Philadelphia and have a fanbase that's getting jobbed by the books in Vegas.
Then again, as one commenter accurately pointed out this morning, I hate the Rays because I had a disappointing romantic experience while I was on vacation and am jealous I don't live there. So screw 'em. We'll see Joe and his boys in the Chi.
Have a crazy idea of where to relocate the end of Game 5? Let's hear it.
- the Rays
- Dennis Hopper
- Kevin Costner