Scorpion stings Doug Melvin; Brewers GM hospitalized after troubling internet search

David Brown
March 7, 2013

We've got another general manager down, people!

A scorpion stung Milwaukee Brewers GM Doug Melvin on Wednesday, just two days after Yankees GM Brian Cashman broke his right ankle skydiving. It's hard out there for a GM.

Melvin wasn't concerned at first, because he's tough (if not sexy) but he began to worry after numbness went up his left arm. He did an internet search on scorpion stings and decided to head to the emergency room, Tom Haudricourt of the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel reports:

Melvin just told me he reached down to pick up what he thought was a harmless bug with a Kleenex but it turned out to be an Arizona bark scorpion. Melvin was stung on the middle finger of his left hand and when he started experiencing numbness going up his arm, he Googled scorpion stings and decided he better go to a hospital.

"I spent three hours in an emergency room in Scottsdale," Melvin said Thursday morning at the Brewers' Maryvale complex. "My arm is still totally numb.

"It stung me right through the Kleenex."

They don't make Kleenex like they used to. Melvin described the sensation as like the one when you hit your funny bone. Thankfully, he took to the internet with his one good arm to investigate. No sense in, you know, going into convulsions in your Cactus League condo. While the bark scorpion is "the most venomous in North America," rarely does death — yikes — result. Scorpions in fact are common in Arizona, but they're supposed to leave Major League Baseball personnel alone. That's the deal Bud Selig made with Scorpion King!

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What could happen next? Well, nothing. Melvin is fine. But in a sci-fi movie, Melvin might develop superhuman scorpion A-Bomb test powers that would help him make one-sided trades with other GMs, as in this hypothetical recreation:

Doug Melvin: Are you feeling OK, Jack Z?

Jack Zduriencik: I'm OK, it's just a little numbness in my arm. Now, about us sending Felix Hernandez and cash your way for Logan Schafer, where do I sign? And why do you have pinchers instead of hands?

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