The Philadelphia Phillies' Triple-A team, you might remember, is debuting urine-powered video games this season. What about the Phillies' Double-A team, the Reading Fightin Phils? Snot-powered ketchup dispensers? No, actually they're getting two ostriches this year.
Yes, living, breathing, head-burying ostriches. These ostriches also look like they're judging me, but maybe that's a me-problem.
The Fightins, a longtime affiliates of the Phillies in Reading, changed their name and logo last year. The logo, it's worth noting, includes an ostrich, who is apparently ready to throw knuckles. Watch out.
Cue the quote from the team:
"Fans can now experience and learn about farming and these unique animals from Africa just by attending a Fightin Phils game," said Fightin Phils General Manager Scott Hunsicker. "We hope that families can fall in love with both farming and baseball from the allure of these magnificent ostriches."
True, ostriches and farming are more family-friendly than pee-powered bathroom games, but are they nearly as fun?
This brings to mind "Ferris Bueller's Day Off," when Ferris got a computer and his sister Jeanie got a car. In the end, it worked out to both their advantages.
Here's hoping the minor-league Phillies fans don't get Double-A and Triple-A confused and go to Reading to pee on the ostriches thinking it's some sort of game.