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News & Notes: Cubs move into May after an awful April

Big League Stew

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A few items to peruse while the sun shines bright on My Old Kentucky Home ...

• Despite Alfonso Soriano's fast start, the Cubs have stumbled out of the season gate. They've lost seven of their last nine, turned in an April record of 10-11 and sit five games behind St. Louis. My man Andy Dolan celebrates this debut of ineptitude by looking at the players he considers to be the most useless on the Cubs — David Patton, Joey Gathright and ... Derrek Lee? [Desipio]

DAY BASEBALL! Marlins at Cubs, 2:20 ET If the weather in Chicago wasn't set on "Eastern Bloc Nation" for the 87th straight day, I'd be climbing out of the Stew and headed to Wrigley. Still might. (It's been a long week.)

• If you didn't catch it last night, the Nats' ninth inning last night was a spectacular crash 'n burn for the ages. [Walkoff Walk]

• If they care about salvaging any respectability during this season, there are any number of damaged arms and/or pitchers who are asking for too much money (ie: Pedro Martinez) that the Nationals could beg to join their team. [Fire Jim Bowden]

•Hey, look! It's a picture of Andre Ethier canoodling with Alyssa Milano! Someone get this on Sports Center! [Vin Scully is My Homeboy]

• In honor of this weekend's Kentucky Derby, David Chalk breaks out the investigative journalism stick and looks at players who resemble horses. [Bugs & Cranks]

• Are the White Sox officially panicking by calling up Scott Podsednik? [Smells Like Mascot]

• It's a matchup that will be dissected once, if it's dissected 537 times on Phillies blogs this season: Raul Ibanez vs. Pat Burrell? [Phillies Nation]

• Rev. Halofan notes that T.S. Eliot wrote that April is the cruelest month. You'll find no argument in Anaheim, where it got as cruel as it can get. [Halos Heaven]

• Finally, David Cone is back to using terrible terminology to describe a pitcher's moves in the bullpen. NSFW [New Stadium Insider]

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