• Congrats taxpayers! The baseball palace that you paid to have named opens tonight when the Mets take on the Padres in a nationally-televised game on ESPN. If you're headed out to the game, make sure to check out these hints and tips from someone who knows. [MetsGrrl]
• The ticket market for tonight's game is robust and Bernie Madoff's seats were auctioned off for $7,500, realizing a 614 percent return that not even the criminal himself could have pulled out of thin air. [CNBC — Darren Rovell]
• Curses! Chicago cops found a severed goat's head outside Wrigley Field early this morning. In related news, Big League Stew has announced that it claims no responsibility. [Tribune]
• Meanwhile, here's a more worthy Chicago crusade that doesn't involve slaughtering an animal that has nothing to do with 101 years of ineptitude: A New England trucker ditched a load of ketchup destined to be painfully striped across Fenway Franks this season. A Windy City hero, in my book. [Boston Herald]
Day Baseball! Six more teams get their home openers out of the way today and four will be played during the day. We'll have more on them as game times approach.
• Washington has started the season 0-6 and is alone in goose egg win territory, which caused WaPo's Dan Steinberg to do a bit of research. In four of the past seven seasons, the final "winless" team went onto lose at least 95 games. [DC Sports Bog]
• When the new Yankee Stadium officially opens on Thursday, 99-year-old Harry Heller will be there. Why is this noteworthy? He was also at the opening of the old, old Yankee Stadium, all the way back in 1923. [NYDN]
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- Bernie Madoff