Mourning the loss of Bryce Harper’s beard

David Brown
May 15, 2013

The rattling that Bryce Harper of the Washington Nationals took by slamming into the outfield fence at Dodger Stadium on Monday has cost him his beard.

Adam Kilgore of the Washington Post reports that Harper needed to shave his face in order for medical staff to sew stitches were he cut his chin on the fence:

Though he is due for more tests, the Nats say Harper does not have a concussion — which is hard to believe not only because of the jolt he obviously suffered but also because Harper says he's nauseous. That's a classic symptom. But if Harper's beard has become a casualty, then maybe this is all al blessing in disguise. That facial hair made Harper look like a movie villain. Hey, don't you agree, Vin Scully?

In a pre-game interview with Charlie Slowes Tuesday, the longtime Voice of the Dodgers addressed the vicious collision:

“The only good thing about it is it knocked his beard off,” Scully told Slowes. “And I was delighted to see … I went down to the clubhouse because I admire his play, and there he was clean shaven, stitches under the chin.”

Right on, Vin. Look, this is the United States. If you want to run into fences and wear evil beards, be my guest. But there will be consequences. Freedom of speech ain't free, if ya' get my meaning.

Here's to Harper staying healthy, knowing where the fence is next time and keeping his face clear of evil hairs.


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