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David Brown

Morning Juice: Tigers on way in, Tiger Stadium on way out

Big League Stew

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This and every weekday a.m., let's rise and shine together with the most recent and decent major league happenings. Today's Roll Call starts inside the Metrodome, because what good would it do to loiter around Tiger Stadium right now, with all the demolishing going on?

Game of the Day: Tigers 5, Twins 4

Grrreat, just great: They started the season 0-7, improved to 2-10 and were sparkling at 24-36 in early June. Now, the Detroit Tigers are 42-40 and relevant to the pennant race after winning their sixth straight, a comeback against the Minnesota Twins. Meanwhile, a few Great Lakes away, strict deconstructionists started to demolish Tiger Stadium, which took Pharaoh Ty Cobb and his slaves two decades to build.

Michigan, Mantle and Maris: A state historic site since '75, and on the National Register of Historic Places since '89, the 96-year-old Navin Field/Briggs Stadium/Tiger Stadium has stood mostly empty since the Tigers moved to Comerica Park in 2000. A notable exception, the New York Pretend Yankees called it home in Billy Crystal's made-for-TV masterpiece "61*."

Zoom: Closing the door instead of Todd Jones — or, as he apparently should be known, Master Po — was Joel Zumaya. Zumaya didn't invoke memories of '84 Willie Hernandez or '88 MIke Henneman, but he wriggled from a couple of jams. Jones was resting his Ordonez wig after having thrown 40 pitches the previous couple of days. "Jonesy came in and tapped me on the shoulder and said ‘Hey, we need you tonight,' " Grasshopper said. "I'm not going to let the guy down that taught me all this stuff, who took the time to teach me about the bullpen, and be a closer in the future."

Deep-fried Twinkie: Minnesota came in even hotter, having won 11 of 12, and they led this one 4-1 in the seventh. Curtis Granderson's single capped a two-run eighth. No supper for Matt Guerrier!

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Feelin' Rundown (Monday's other adventures):

Cardinals 7, Mets 1 — It places the Lohse in the basket or it gets the hose again. ... Mark Mulder, who hasn't pitched in anger since 2005, got the final three outs. Dave Duncan will have the late Dizzy Dean up and throwing in no time. ... Someone could be trying to send a Sicilian Message to umpire Brian O'Nora. O'Nora, who this past week was bloodied by one of Van Helsing's Vampire-Killing Stakes Miguel Olivo's Maple Bat Splinter from Hell, was struck in the ribcage by a ball that "glanced off the mitt" of Mets catcher Brian Schneider. Suuuuuuuuure it did, and Luca Brasi sleeps with the fishes because he caught a nasty cold. ... "We didn't do too much of anything right," manager Jerry Manuel said, giving a title to the season's video yearbook.

Marlins 6, Nationals 5 (10 inn.) — Oh, Hanley

Well you homered in the ninth to tie it

just like you did on Sunday, oh Hanley

Well the Marlins they showed that they don't quit

Did anybody come to the game? Oh, Hanley

Reds 4, Pirates 3 — Griffey scoffs at Matt Capps' lucky NHL playoff mustache. Redlegs phenom Jay Bruce, in his past 24 games, is batting .194 with one homer and eight RBIs. One of you jumped the gun on this guy. Who was it???!!!

Astros 4, Dodgers 1 — Consider it solved, the Mystery of Eric Stults. Oswalt was cruising until Jack Ruby a hip injury got him.

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Cubs 9, Giants 2 — And Barry Zito's gone again. Mark DeRosa would be my favorite Cubs player, if I were a Cubs fan. Then Carlos Zambrano, then Geovany Soto, then Derrek Lee, then Kerry Wood, then Ryan Theriot, then Fukudome, then Ryan Dempster, then Carlos Marmol, then Alfonso Soriano, then Mike Fontenot, then Aramis Ramirez, then Reed Johnson, then Matt Murton, then Jon Lieber, then Henry Blanco, then Scott Eyre, then Sean Gallagher, then Ronny Cedeno, then Daryle Ward, then Bob Howry, then Ted Lilly, then Michael Wuertz, then Neal Cotts, then Jim Edmonds, then Eric Patterson, then Sean Marshall, then Jose Ascanio, then Chad Fox and then Jason Marquis.

Padres 15, Rockies 8 — It's too bad that somebody's losing streak had to end. Was the seven-run ninth Brian Fuentes' way of saying, "I don't want to be traded"?

D-backs 6, Brewers 3 — AZ lifts its neck above .500 with its winning formula from April; a solid start, a shutdown bullpen and Mark Reynolds hackin'. Eric Byrnes, who is having one of the more miserable seasons in the history of miserable seasons, has injured his other hamstring. His hair also hurts.

Rangers 2, Yankees 1 — They let a bunch of hockey goons come into the Bronx and win? Oops, wrong Rangers. Revenge for the '96, '98, '99 ALDS's, then. The Yankes tried to stink the Rangers out — a sewer pipe burst and flooded a hallway leading to the visitors clubhouse — but Chuck Norris patched it.

Royals 6, Orioles 5 (11 inn.) — Two days in a row, things turn Grim for the O's thanks to the Brim. Sherrill took out his frustrations first on his glove, then gum. George today plans to allow a score-tying home run to Billy Butler.

Rays 5, Red Sox 4 — Payback is a bit... delayed right now. No, Mr. PapelBond, I expect you to finish second!

White Sox 9, Indians 7 — Swisher? More like Switcher! Nothin's gonna stop the Sox now. Jhohnnhy Pherhaltha whent 5-fhor-5 ... in Hs, of course.

Athletics 6, Angels 1 — This one really speaks for itself.

Blue Jays 2, Mariners 0 — If we could just get Halladay to defect, the Cold War with Canada will turn in our favour for sure.

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Photo of the Day: You gave Jon Bon a bad name

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Musician Jon Bon Jovi is left speechless after a demented New York City mayor Michael Bloomberg (left, blurry) announces in an elaborate press conference that the rocker has changed his name to, simply, "Baseball" in celebration of the upcoming All-Star Game at Yankee Stadium.

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Fantasy Freaks

Lohse (Cards) 7 IP, 5 H, 2 BB, 4 K, Win

Josh Willingham (Fish) 2-4, 3 R, 2 HR, 3 RBI

Adam LaRoche (Pirates) 3-3, HR, 3 RBI

Oswalt (Astros) 6 IP, 6 H, ER, 9 K

Peralta (Tribe) 5-5, 3 R, HR, 3 RBI

Nick Swisher (White Sox) 2-4, 2 HR, 5 RBI

Jody Gerut (Padres) 2-6, 2 R, HR, 4 RBI

Edgar Gonzalez (Padres) 4-5, 3 R, 2 HR, 3 RBI

Reynolds (D-backs) 3-3, HR, 3 RBI

Greg Smith (A's) 9 IP, 4 H, ER, 2 BB, 3 K, Win

Roy Halladay (Blue Jays) 9 IP, 4 H, 6 K, Win

DeRosa (Cubs) 3-4, 3 R, 2 HR, 6 RBI

Ted Lilly (Cubs) 8 IP, 7 H, 2 ER, 2 BB, 5 K, Win

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Fantasy Flakes

Matt Capps (Pirates) 2 H, 2 ER, Loss, blown save

Jeremy Sowers (Indians) 3 IP, 6 H, 8 ER, 2 BB, 2 K, Loss

Greg Maddux (Padres) 4 2/3 IP, 8 H, 8 ER, 3 BB, K

Jorge De La Rosa (Rockies) 5 IP, 11 H, 6 ER, 3 K

Brian Fuentes (Rockies) 1/3 IP, 5 H, 5 ER, Loss

Zito (Giants) 5 IP, 6 H, 4 ER, 5 BB, 6 K, Loss

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Words of Mouth

"It was like they had a Zamboni out there. I was like, ‘What in the world is this?' " — Rangers pitcher Scott Feldman on the leaky Yankee Stadium catacombs.
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