Game of the Day: Phillies 8, Mets 6
No phoolin' the Phils: First they tried Duaner Sanchez — Duaner, a name not found in nature — and he was a complete faildog. Then they went to Average Joe Smith — a sidewindin', bushwackin', hornswaglin', cracker croaker — and he didn't get it done, either. Then they called on Feliciano, who So couldn't get 'er done, and a blind man could see this wasn't going to be a Feliz Navidad for the DuhMazins.
Phlood of runs: Was it the worst ninth inning in the history of the Mets? That probably happened last September sometime, but it'll do for this year. The key play, probably, was a hesitation by Jose Reyes on a grounder — which could have been called an error — but should have been an out somewhere. Instead, he was tapping around second base like Sammy playing the Copa. Taguchi's double to right was huge, too — and what was Endy Chavez doing playing that shallow in right?
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Feelin' Rundown (Tuesday's other games):
Marlins 4, Braves 0 — Reliever Joe Nelson gave up the one hit allowed by the Marlins — to Chipper, of course. If you proposed a bar bet that says Rick VandenHurk is the Marlins' bullpen coach, I'm not sure you should lose. Would there be a better bullpen coach name in the majors? He shouldn't apply just yet for Steve Foster's job, not after five hitless innings, part of a four-pitcher combined one-hitter. Jeff Francoeur's analysis of The Vurk: "One time he's up, the next time he paints the corner. He was very effectively wild." French for, "I dare him to do it again."
Angels 3, Indians 2 — Save No. 41 for K-Rod. The other night, they did a poll on the White Sox TV broadcast asking if he was going to break Thigpen's record of 57. A resounding "no" (something like 80 percent) came from the Chicago electorate. Yes, several of the voters had died in the 1970s.
Red Sox 4, Mariners 2 — Dice-K took a year to get used to the chowdah. Now, he's wicked pissah.
Brewers 4, Cardinals 3 — In order, the all-time greatest Brewers third basemen: Paul Molitor, Ryan Braun, Jeff Cirillo, Kevin Seitzer, Don Money, Tommy Harper, Bill Hall, Gary Sheffield, Sal Bando, Corey Koskie, B.J. Surhoff, Ernest Riles, Russell Branyan, Tyler Houston, Jose Hernandez, Wes Helms, Ed Romero, Mike Ferraro. ... All Coors Light needs to do is get La Russa to sign on the line and they've got another commercial disguised as a press conference. "Do you think the bullpen lost this game? They are who we thought they were!"
Pirates 8, Astros 2 — Randy Wolf has been turrible, and he's owed about $3.5 million dollars. Did Chacon knock all of the sense out of Ed Wade? Maybe not. Richard Justice — he's a great writer — commends Wade for doing the deal for these reasons. Here's what I suspect: They added Wolf as an if-come. If he pitches better in the next couple weeks, or even after the deadline, they can move him for an actual prospect. The guy they traded for him is not one.
Reds 4, Padres 3 (11 inn) — Bryan Corey's having a bad week. He allowed Aaron Miles' game-winning granny Sunday, and his fingerprints were all over this one too. J-Bruce: 3-for-6 and scored the off-run walk. He's not Albert Pujols but he's not Luis Pujols, either. Maybe he's Pujols-Pujols.
Giants 6, Nationals 3 — Zito improved to 5-12, but I can't remember the other four wins and I'm not sure if this one counts because it's the Gnats.
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Photo of the Day: 'But in the Latin alphabet, Jehovah begins with an I.'
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Lind (Jays) 4-5, HR, 2 R, 3 RBI
Melvin Mora (O's) 4-5, R, 5 RBI
Paul Maholm (Pirates) 8 IP, 5 H, ER, BB, 5 K, Win
Mark Buehrle (White Sox) 7 1/3 IP, 6 H, ER, 3 K, Win
Ian Stewart (Rockies) 3-3, HR, 4 RBI
Jimenez (Rockies) 9 IP, 4 H, ER, 2 BB, 4 K, Win
Matsuzaka (Sawx) 7 1/3 IP, 5 H, 2 ER, 3 BB, 6 K, Win
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Duanereade (Mets) 0 IP, 3 H, 3 ER
Kershaw (Dodgers) 3 IP, 10 H, 5 ER, 3 BB, 2 K, Loss
Shaun Marcum (Jays) 4 2/3 IP, 8 H, 6 ER, 3 BB, 3 K, 3 HR
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Words of Mouth
"Nice pitch selection, you jerk." — Nelson, in a joking manner, to Marlins catcher John Baker.