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Big League Stew

‘Moby Dick’: Minor-league club reels in three-pound fish sandwich

Big League Stew

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"From hell's intestines I stab at thee!"

Have you spent most of your life traversing the globe, scouring the ends of the Earth for the biggest fish sandwich that ballparks have to offer? Well, Ahab, sail into Eastlake, Ohio, this April for a Lake County Captains game to finally meet your great white(fish) whale.

This spring, the Captains, a Cleveland Indians affiliate, will offer the "Moby Dick" sandwich. It will be as challenging to eat as it sounds. Described on the Captains' website as stretching 15 inches long on a sesame seed hoagie roll and weighing (at least) three pounds, Moby Dick contains a mere 2,000 (plus) calories and 200 grams of fat. It will feed "two fans uncomfortably or four fans comfortably." It's what killed Gregory Peck. All for $20.

"We wanted to challenge John Klein, our Director of Food & Beverage, to create a signature item for Classic Park and the Captains this season," explained General Manager Brad Seymour. "I think it is safe to say that John and his staff took that directive to heart in creating this monster sandwich that our fans are either sure to enjoy or run from."

Feed me, Seymour! Here are more gory details:

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He kinda looks like Nick Swardson, but it's Grover, the Captains' on-field host.

• Five quarter-pound fish filets.

• Eight slices of cheese.

• Six ounces of clam strips.

• A third-pound of french fries (nod to Primanti Bros.?*)

• A cup of cole slaw.

• "Gobs" of lettuce, tomato, pickles and tartar sauce.

• Pepto Bismol is extra.

(* Stew reader @masirovitsm point out that Panini's in the greater Cleveland area makes sandwiches with fries on them as well. He prefers the local establishment to the one from Pittsburgh. "Cleveland, represent," he says.)

ANYWAY, the team will hold a contest in which individual fans can attempt to eat the beastie in an hour. An hour!?

I'm all about big food at ballparks — even the mutation known as The StrasBurger — but I have some doubts that many would pay $20 for a gigantic fish sandwich. A $20 hamburger? Yes. A $20 hotdog? If it's big enough, sure. But a $20 fish sandwich? Maybe at a ballpark on a lake. We'll see. It's too bad that Lent almost never overlaps with the start of a minor-league baseball season. Then you'd really have something.

In the meantime, we'll keep searching for the ultimate big food at ballparks across the U.S.A.!

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