No matter if it's the result of a fight over a boombox or a bad-luck hop off the lip of the infield, the best way to hide a shiner remains a big pair of sunglasses. Daniel LaRusso employed them after getting his tail whipped over the affection of Elisabeth Shue. Detroit Tigers third baseman Miguel Cabrera did the same while meeting with the media a day after an errant ground ball busted up his face in spring training.
But to Miggy's credit, he didn't try to claim he was high on Minute Maid. He reported on Tuesday that he received eight stitches to close the gash on his right eye. He also said he's aiming toward playing on opening day, despite suffering "a non-displaced fracture of the orbital floor in his right eye." Fear does not exist on this hot corner!
Thing is, donning sunglasses in the field may have helped limit the damage:
"I don't think there's any question that his sunglasses helped him a great deal yesterday," Tigers GM Dave Dombrowski told reporters. "Who knows what would've happened yesterday if he didn't have the sunglasses on, because you could see the imprint of the baseball on his sunglasses, the seams on there."
So, to recap: Moving to third base (and palm trees) doesn't solve anything.
Sunglasses (and learning karate at a good school, not the Y) do.
- Detroit Tigers
- Elisabeth Shue