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Are the Mariners suffering from the Curse of the Rally Fries?

Big League Stew

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At 46-74, the Mariners are suffering through a nightmare season. They currently have a headlock on the worst record in the American League (the Royals have eight more wins) and the future doesn't look too bright at Safeco.

So who should we blame for the mess?

The long goners like John McLaren, Bill Bavasi or Richie Sexson?

Someone on the current roster like Ichiro, Jose Vidro (who was until this week) or Erik Bedard?

Maybe Mariner Moose or the kissing lesbians?

Before Wednesday, I would have said to go ahead and name any of the above as the top suspect.

But then I got the following email/local newspaper-type rant in my inbox from a man claiming to have placed a "CURSE OF THE RALLY FRIES" upon the Mariners before the 2008 season. You know, just like Billy Goat Sianis placed his curse upon the Cubs after his goat was denied entry to the '45 Series ?

Now, some of you at home might be asking, what the hell are Rally Fries and why would they be the cause for a cursing?

Well, if you watched M's games — and I'll help you find something better to do if you do — you'd know Rally Fries are bestowed upon lucky fans from announcer Mike Blowers when things are looking down for the Mariners, which is often.

It causes quite a bit of excitement and commotion in the stands — more than the team could ever create itself — which is why this gentleman has directed his voodoo magic toward Seattle's baseball team. He just wants his peace and quiet back and if he has to place a curse to ensure that, so be it.

Follow the jump for the hexing email — in all its unedited glory — claiming responsibility for this M's disaster of a season. Mariners' management, consider yourselves warned:

The Curse of the Rally Fries by Unknown

Last year the Mariners announcer (big mouth Blowers) started randomly giving away "rally fries" to a fan during the home games. People bring HUGE signs to the games begging for Blowers to give them "rally fries". I find this disgusting (as do many others) especially when one has to sit half the game behind a sign begging for "rally" fries and misses the game in $100. seats because a person is holding up a sign begging for french fries (The Mariners have not "rallied" since this started) Mike Blowers also has the habit of talking for 1/2 hour on a point that needed a 2 second (at the most) answer — day after day after day after day after day. None of my family likes listening to him. Unfortunately the TV delay is about 5-10 seconds so we cannot listen to the wonderful radio broadcast as we watch the game. I was a huge Mariners fan - and still would be if it wasn't for Blowers and his idiotic "rally" fries (the OTHER team rallies as soon as he gives them out ---- it is the CURSE OF THE RALLY FRIES)

At the end of the season this last year, I emailed the Seattle Mariners and told them that the begging for "rally" fries was disruptive — both live at the games and watching on television and that big mouth Blowers needed to go. They emailed me back with "Sorry, Mike Blowers was given a contract for next year) (This year) Never mind several players were given contracts and then released during the season while the M's still paid their salaries.

This year — BEFORE the beginning of the season — I emailed the Seattle Mariners and told them that if either Mike Blowers or the "rally" fries was part of the 2008 season that a curse would be put on the Mariners and they would not play well. It's pretty bizarre that "rally" fries would continue to be given out as if it would help the Mariners rally when they haven't all season (even as the "rally" fries were given out at every home game)

Mike Blowers wants to become famous and he thought the "rally" fries would become as famous as the Angel's Rally Monkey and he wants so badly to be in the Hall of Fame even if it is only through his idiotic "rally" fries — which has not worked for two years.

If the Mariners continues to use either Blowers or his "rally" fries in the broadcasts next year, the 2008 season will look like a championship season in comparison. The CURSE OF THE RALLY FRIES will continue for as long as blowers or his "rally" fries are part of the Mariners organization.

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