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David Brown

Hello, dolly! Giants plan special Lincecum bobblehead with hair

David Brown
Big League Stew

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The San Francisco Giants are planning a promotion that only a taxidermist like Norman Bates could truly appreciate.

By itself, the Tim Lincecum(notes) bobblehead doll giveaway set for July 17 probably would guarantee a sellout crowd at AT&T Park, with lines around stretching the block to ensure they're early enough to get theirs.

But the ad wizards at 24 Willie Mays Plaza have kicked things up a notch, adding an unusual feature to a select number of Timmy's dolls sure to make them, uh, unique collectibles.

No, it's not anything like that. This is a different kind of madness altogether.

The first 20,000 fans will get a Tiny Tim bobblehead, but only six will be "lucky" enough to walk away with one that features "synthetic" hair.

The Giants tweeted an announcement on March 31 that it would include "real hair" and then confirmed that it wasn't an April Fool's Day hoax. However, a followup call to the team today produced the admission that the bobble would have synthetic hair. Something like a Halloween wig. The rest of the bobbles will have hair made out of the same material as the rest of the figurine.

Now, I'm not sure what the final product will look like — my artist's rendering above came out more like My Little Pony than our little Timmy — but I do think the bobblehead part is a mistake. There's an even better idea.

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What the Giants should be doing is partnering with American Girl to make a male doll with Timmy as the model. If you're not familiar with the American Girl phenomenon: a) Where have you been? b) It's like Barbie meets an adoption agency meets a kiddie beauty pageant.

The concept: Parents buy their little girl a doll that is bascially a smaller-sized version of the child. Doll and kid dress alike, do activities together, plan adventures, go to the hair salon at American Girl Place in Chicago and six other cities. It's borderline psychotic, but all in the name of good fun, consumerism and learning to raise a child when you're 5.

But other than little, itty bitty baby ones, American Girl does not produce male dolls. Beyond the sexism, the American Girl fad is bound to exhaust itself unless it creates new campaigns. Creating a Tim Lincecum doll seems like the natural jumping-off point.

Dress up a doll in a Giants uniform with Timmy's features, including his boyish face and hippie's hair. Give him away to girls and boys. The child would act as a "mommy," a "daddy" or "coach" to the Timmy doll.

The Giants are obviously willing to exploit Lincecum to the fullest; they're going to be selling Timmy wigs at AT&T this season. So take it to the nth degree. Doll the boy up.

Big BLS H/N to The Last Angry Fan

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