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David Brown

Giants' Huff channels 'Zoolander,' whips out Rally Thong for fans

David Brown
Big League Stew

What would a San Francisco Giants World Series rally be without the Rally Thong?

Aubrey Huff(notes) promised to bring the most significant pair of underpants in Giants history to the team's championship celebration Wednesday, and he was not one to disappoint.

The pertinent part of the video starts about the 2:20 mark.

"I got a little present for you guys in San Francisco," Huff told the throng of fans gathered at the city's Civic Center. "I'm sure all of you have heard about the Rally Thong. Now, I know this is a family event [but] if you've seen 'Zoolander,' I have a special talent just for you."

Huff was referring to the Ben Stiller film in which the male model Zoolander character performs in a "walk-off" competition, the climax of which happens when the competitors try to pull off their underwear without taking off their pants. I'm not making this up.

So, in front of the fans and Mayor Gavin Newsom and the whole world, Huff stuck his a hand down his pants to find the underwear he wore for every game since Aug. 30.

Lemme see that thong!

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After some dramatic gyrations and a brief search — a BRIEF search — he produced the thong and held it high like a championship belt from professional wrestling.

"This thing nailed it!" Huff said, giving credit to a piece of man's lingerie for the Giants' late-season run to their first championship since 1954.

Huff actually displayed the thong along the parade route first. Here's proof!

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Aubrey, get that out of your mouth! You don't know where that thong's been!

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The thong that binds: Teammate Pat "The Machine" Burrell and Huff unite for the fans along the parade route.

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This is actually one of my favorite photos of the season. It's the classic ticker-tape parade angle; it's a nice shot of the thong not being in his mouth; he's got a beer. Awesome.

"The Rally Thong's going to the Hall of Fame, or we'll just wear it in spring training," Huff said before departing the dais.

Huff has a tough decision to make. If he lends the Rally Thong to Cooperstown, he probably won't get it back in time for next season. It could be a problem, considering that baseball players tend to be superstitious — or at least big on sticking with routines.

A sidebar: Though he's a free agent, Huff and the Giants seem to think there's a good chance he'll be back in San Francisco.

The Giants don't win the World Series without Huff. If only because he wouldn't have been there to introduce them to the Rally Thong.

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