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Fort Myers Miracle to hold Marco Rubio Water Bottle Giveaway Night

Mark Townsend
Big League Stew

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(AP)

It was a moment that made the entire viewing audience collectively ask “Did that just happen? Really?” during Tuesday night’s Republican response to President Barack Obama’s State of the Union Address. As Florida senator Marco Rubio was delivering that response, he was overcome with thirst, prompting him to awkwardly take a sip from his water bottle, before carrying on as if nothing strange had just happened.

It was quite the live TV moment. Everyone who saw it took to some form of social media to joke about it. It made all of the talk shows and was even spoofed on Saturday Night Live. Needless to say, Rubio's sip achieved "overnight sensation" status. But as we all know, in order to reach "iconic moment of the ages" status, a minor league baseball team must find a way to make a promotion out of it.

Good news, Mr. Rubio. You're arrived.

Say hello to the Fort Myers Miracle — a Single-A affiliate for the Minnesota Twins — and behold their new promotion, Marco Rubio Water Bottle Giveaway Night.

Here are a few excerpts from their press release:

Fans entering Hammond Stadium will receive a water bottle while being encouraged to gather in the shady parts of the ballpark to stay cool when the heat is on and prevent perspiration. The Miracle will help recreate Rubio's thirst-quenching moment on national television by setting up a booth where fans can put on a sports jacket, stand in front of a set and down some high-quality H2O.

Honestly, the water bottle would have been enough, but apparently they take their promotions seriously in Fort Myers.

Oh wait, there's even more!

Those picking up tickets at the will call window should be prepared for unlicked ticket envelopes because our parched Capital Bank ticket office employees will be saving saliva. Fans will need to salvage water water wisely with special deals on high-sodium concession items such as chips, popcorn and peanuts.

The attention to detail here is remarkable. Continue, please.

In an effort to keep the field saturated, the Hammond Stadium groundscrew will participate in a mid-game rain dance because even the Earth needs a drink on a hot day. Fans can expect to make a big splash with a stadium-wide game of Marco Polo.

I mean seriously, they're going all the way with this one. But I think there's just one thing missing.

Of course, the Miracle will extend an invitation to Senator Rubio to throw out the first pitch, provided he uses the rosin bag beforehand and is thoroughly hydrated.

There you go. They got it all covered (well, they also need to pick an official date). Now hopefully the senator will be a good sport about it and at least send in a video message. That would be the capper on a very unique but creative promotion.

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