You just knew that a new season would bring a few new fashion trends out on the diamond. Here are a few of the Fashion Ump's favorites from the opening week, with hopefully many more noteworthy developments to come.
1. The Pants of a Prince — Prince Fielder took his hacks yesterday at Wrigley Field while looking something like a sea pirate. I'm guessing those tucked-up leggings are coming down once Bud Selig gets an up-close look in Milwaukee. (Big nod to The Boss's bro for the tip.) Call: Out at second.
2. The Bobby Goat — White Sox reliever Bobby Jenks has rocked the dyed 'tee look before. Is it just me or does this year's lady tickler boast a lot more peroxide? That's about as blonde as it gets. Call: Stand-up triple.
3. See C.C.'s rider? — The cream-colored throwback unis that the Indians wore to start the season were remarkably simple, but kinda cool. On the bad side, they were also remarkably see-through. Call: Caught looking.
4. Cleric Gagne — The title of this one happened to be my favorite submission for the Eric Gagne beard-naming contest. However, the spy who submitted "French Canadian Face Forest" reports that Milwaukee's closer has once again shaved down to a goatee. Call: Routine single.
5. The Beltway Brim — What's with DC/Baltimore-area closers and their crippling inability to force a curl to their caps? O's closer George Sherrill copies Chad Cordero because, unlike Beckham, he's "never been able to bend it correctly." Call: Down on strikes.
(Bonus footage of Cordero and Sherrill disciples follows the jump.)