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Big League Stew

Everything You Need to Know About the Bonds Trial: Day 6

Rob Iracane
Big League Stew

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In the world of celebrity justice, the only thing worse than farce is sheer and utter boredom. If you were following the Barry Bonds perjury trial on Wednesday, you experienced a dose of boredom far more powerful than any steroid or hormone Bonds allegedly injected into his bloodstream.

What was once an interesting procession of witnesses for the prosecution, including a vengeful former Bonds confidant, Barry's spurned ex-mistress, and the tragicomic MVP-winning Jason Giambi has been reduced to boring old Randy Velarde and a couple of guys who handled Bonds' urine samples. We've gone from the Jack McCoy era of "Law & Order" all the way down to the Tracey Kibre era of "Law & Order: Trial by Jury." There simply is no comparison.

But, as the trial plods on, so do we. {YSP:MORE}

Wednesday's Main Event: Most of the proceedings on Wednesday were devoted to figuring out how the medical testing folks handled Bonds' urine sample in 2004. The UCLA drug lab did the testing of the pee sample that was seized by the government in a raid of Quest Diagnostics. That's a bunch of different hands for a single pee sample to pass through, so Bonds' defense lawyers (like Cris Arguedas, below) sought to instill doubt in the jury that the samples might not have belonged to Barry.

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Earlier in the day, former infielder Randy Velarde took the stand. Velarde, who was never a teammate of Bonds' but had contact with Bonds' former trainer Greg Anderson, testified that he received injections of HGH from Anderson. He claims it gave him "endurance and strength," which is odd considering he retired the following season.

Hey, maybe Velarde could send some of that HGH to the folks reporting on this trial in the courtroom. They could use a boost of endurance.

Quote of the Day: Fake Barry Bonds, on Twitter:

"Hey everyone — I'm hosting an after party when court ends tonight. Meet at Chili's. #JurorsDrinkFree"

No news event, no matter how major or minor, can pass anymore without a fake Twitter account popping up to capitalize on the happening. Wait a little longer and you'll see @BarryBondsPeeSample spurting 140 characters of comedy per stream.

Photo of the Day:

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Keep that upper lip stiff, Randy.

What's Next: The prosecution's witness list, which once promised a parade of doctors, drug testers and former ballplayers, has been trimmed to just three witnesses. Still left to take the stand are Arthur Ting, Bonds' former orthopedic surgeon, doping expert Don Catlin, and Steve Hoskins' sister Kathy, who did time as a personal assistant for the slugger.

With no former baseball players and Bonds teammates left on the witness list, we pause now to imagine what might have been if we were treated to the presence of former Giants Benito Santiago, Armando Rios and Bobby "Guns" Estalella. Pour out the first ounce of your Muscle Milk, homies.

Convict-o-Meter: Drops two points to 5 out of 10. The government must either feel strong with the witnesses it's already called or it is afraid of putting the entire jury to sleep with more feds and science geeks on the stand. All the evidence so far is pretty damning, but it'd be a heck of a lot more damning if the prosecution, in the age of YouTube and cameraphones, had a video of Anderson shooting Bonds up with the good stuff.

Note: Our daily Bonds summaries are compiled every day with the help of several Internet sources, including the Twitter accounts of @georgedorhmann and @gwenknapp, which have proved invaluable on a minute-by-minute basis.

Follow them, as well as Rob (@iracane).

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