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Everything You Need to Know About the Bonds Trial: Day 3

Rob Iracane
Big League Stew

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The Barry Bonds perjury trial, like a pot of hearty tomato sauce on low heat, is simmering right at the surface. But turn the dial on the gas stove up with some salacious details just a nudge and the whole thing will spill over, mess up the stovetop, and get everyone to notice.

Those juicy details haven't been spilled yet but what was revealed on Thursday will set up the emergence of some very private material in the coming days. But hey, Barry Bonds wore a new tie! Click below and learn some new science-y words, too. {YSP:MORE}

Thursday's Main Event: The first victim on the stand was the same victim who slogged through six hours of questioning on Tuesday: Bonds' former friend and valet Steve Hoskins. The big get Thursday? Defense lawyer Allen Ruby got Hoskins to admit that he gave Bonds' ex-mistress a $10,000 loan to lawyer up AND that Bonds told him he would go to the FBI about some misdoings involving memorabilia. Sounds like Hoskins only wants a taste of vengeance.

Also, there was science! The prosecution called to the stand Dr. Larry Bowers, science director of the United States Anti-Doping Agency. Bowers discussed the side effects of both HGH and anabolic steroids but faced harsh cross-examination from Ruby, who questioned the lack of rigorous scientific studies on the side effects.

Which leads us to the...

Word of the Day! Acromegaly (ACK-roh-MEG-uh-lee) A chronic disease of adults marked by enlargement of the bones of the hands, feet, and head that is caused by overactivity of the pituitary gland. Sound like someone (or someones) you know?

During questioning of Dr. Bowers, the prosecution connected symptoms of acromegaly to side effects of using HGH. In other words, if they can prove that Bonds' head and feet grew, they can imply that it was because he took HGH and it screwed up his pituitary. But remember, this is a perjury trial, not a who's-got-the-bigger-head contest. In that case, Bruce Bochy would beat all comers.

When the Circus Comes to Town: Get ready to start picturing awful, naughty things in your head, folks. Thursday marked the first time in the trial that a witness brought up the dreaded g-word during testimony: genitalia. While being questioned about anabolic steroids, Dr. Bowers mentioned several side effects, including acne, hair loss, and ... ahem ... sexual dysfunction, not limited to impotence, breast enlargement, and yes, testicular atrophy.

And these questions were asked right before the lunch break, too! I can't imagine anyone in the courtroom opted for a frankfurter for lunch Thursday.

So when you wonder why Bonds' ex-girlfriend Kim Bell is due to take the stand as a witness for the prosecution, know this much: Somebody has to testify about the size of Barry Bonds' twig and berries and whether they shrunk. Pity longtime Giants clubhouse attendant Mike Murphy if he'll be forced to talk about Barry Bonds' John Thomas, too.

Quote of the Day: Bowers, when asked by the prosecution what effect steroid use would have on testicles:

"They would shrink."

Photo of the Day:

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Bonds, always a fashion plate, ducked into the federal court building wearing a shiny pink tie on Thursday. It was the first time this week he deviated from something bluish. Certainly Bonds is getting coached by his lawyers on how to smile and behave in the courtroom, but what about his clothes? How much thought do you think the Bonds legal team put into his outfit each day? Do you think there will be a new tie every single day of the trial? Will Bonds break out a keyboard tie as a gag? Inquiring minds want to know the answers to these sartorial questions!

What's Next: Court is not on session on Friday, so everyone gets a three-day weekend away from HGH and steroids (unless that's your bag). If you weren't already pitying Giants clubhouse attendant Mike Murphy for soon being forced to testify about Barry Bonds' nether regions, at least pity him for suffering through three days of this trial and then having to wait at least another three days to take the stand.

Convict-o-Meter: Stays steady at 4 out of 10 today. The jury was overwhelmed with scientific and medical mumbo-jumbo Thursday so the chances that their hearts and minds leaned one way or another are slim. Unfortunately, this trial will not be won or lost with facts, but rather with the feeling of doubt or a lack thereof.

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