The Los Angeles Dodgers simply could have Photoshopped his image into one of their uniforms to use as art Monday, when Zack Greinke officially signed his $147 million contract at Dodger Stadium. There already are plenty of photos of Greinke — even many older shots with him wearing a Kansas City Royals uniform, one that's nearly identical to the Dodgers. But why bother painting a uniform No. 21 on there if you can use the real deal?!
Besides, owner Magic Johnson demanded authenticity, so instead the Dodgers used a time-traveling DeLorean motor car borrowed from actor Christopher Lloyd, and sent the team photographer Jon SooHoo forward to April 23 for Greinke's start against the Milwaukee Brewers. SooHoo is sworn to secrecy as to the results of that game, because if Biff Tannen ever found out, Hill Valley as we know it would be lost. But he did get this classic-looking shot of Greinke delivering to Dodgers catcher A.J. Pierzynski. ELLIS, I mean A.J. Ellis. (Phew, that was a close one.)
The Dodgers had more to celebrate, as they also trotted out left-hander Ryu Hyun-jin, who also signed recently from South Korea. Johnson also said the team was putting $100 million in renovations into Dodger Stadium. Boy. Top-of-the-line free-agent pitchers. Time-traveling luxury automobiles. A palatial stadium refurbished. This has been a first-class offseason for the Dodgers. And don't worry about that opening series against the Giants. There will be plenty of time for the Dodgers to bounce back. Just as soon as Carl Crawford returns to the lineup. OK, I've said too much.