The contents of Stan Musial's wallet are nothing compared to what the Chicago Cubs have put on the memorabilia market. In what has to be the weakest possible attempt to capitalize on the buzz of Masahiro Tanaka coming to the majors and Derek Jeter retiring at season's end, the Cubs are selling chairs that both allegedly used when the New York Yankees recently visited Wrigley Field.
Tanaka's chair is going to run at least $320. Jeter's, not as much — yet. The Cubs are trying to pay for a ballpark renovation here, so any fissionable material is fair game: Here's how they advertise it:
"Cubs Authentics: Derek Jeter Game-Used Locker Room Chair - Derek Jeter's Last Regular Season Series at Wrigley Field - EK962915"
"Derek Jeter sat here," a sign at New Wrigley Field might say in the future. "And this is the chair upon which he slipped on his game underpants." They got a term wrong, though. In Major League Baseball, it's a "clubhouse," not a "locker room."
As for the seats, they're folding metal chairs, black in color, show little signs of wear and no sign that they've ever been used at a major league ballpark. There's no Cubs logo, no Wrigley Field logo, other than a sticker that indicates it's "game used." But "Tanaka and Jeter sat on the chairs. Trust us!" Never mind that the Cubs have been using the same photo for both chairs in the respective auctions.
These chairs are even hotter than the empty Obama-Eastwood chair!
Jeter, who is nearly 40 years old, we're used to him sitting on stuff. Tanaka, 26, he's a whole new generation of sitter. Plus, he's from Japan and they're even stranger, pop culturally, than we are in the United States. There probably are DNA hunters in the the Far East just dying to get their hands on something that might have Tanaka nuclei on it. Don't short-change Jeter, though: Rick Reilly could hire scientists to comb Jeter's chair in order to find material to clone children for Jeter in case he never has any himself the old-fashioned way.
Auction closes Sunday.
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