The Europeans call it football. Americans call it soccer. Fenway Pastoral — who apparently is neither a fan of football nor soccer — calls it "the excessive whoring out of Fenway Park" and "thinly veiled prostitution." Whatever the description, the sides from Scotland's Celtic FC and Portugal's Sporting will face off in an exhibition Wednesday night at Fenway Park. It'll be the first soccer match held at the ballpark since the Boston Beacons played there in 1968. I'm not sure if it'll be worth tearing up the outfielder for, but at least it'll be more entertaining than a Jimmy Buffett concert and apparently just as hairy as a visit from Phish. (Is that Jesus?)
So have at it, amateur Internet copy editors of the world. How should this caption read?
1st — wilshyre. "What do the Florida Marlins and Santa have in common? Neither does much during the summer."
2nd — Matt E. "The elf signaling for a touchdown only helps prove that like most Florida fans, as well as Santa, they showed up at Dolphin Stadium four months too soon""
3rd — Magic. "Dont get too happy elf, I just heard we are on the trading block."
HM — Brian P. "Red and white stripes are slimming! Teal... not so much."
HM — johnqpublic. "I love going on vacation at these little hideaway places that nobody knows about."