Indeed, in the moments after MLB.com's Todd Zolecki brought the majesty of Jayson Werth's(notes) burly new beard to the masses, the Internet saw the expedited birth of a Facebook fan page, a Twitter account (@JWerthsBeard) and a Photoshop contest on The Fightins'. (I predict that no one is going to beat @mistertug's Neverending Story job).
Werth isn't answering questions about his beard right now — "Am I going to ask about that thing on your neck?" he asked one reporter — but there's clearly no need for him to address a hairy situation. That thing truly speaks for itself.
So have at it, amateur Internet copy editors of the world. How should this caption read?
1st — maichrow23. "Watch your Philadelphia Phillies take on the Globo Gym Purple Cobras this Saturday at 1 on ESPN 8...."
2nd — JonathanS. "I thought they were exaggerating when they said Charlie Manuel had the balls to close with Lidge..."
3rd — Bryan G. "We've replaced the Phillies' baseballs with Phillie Phanatic eggs. Let's see if they notice."
HM — Joe. "Phillies players join in silent protest to voice their preference for the Grapefruit League in Florida."
HM — Dash. "Not pictured: Dignity."