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Big League Stew

Chapters we’d like to see in Roger Clemens’ upcoming book

Big League Stew

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Writing a book can't be that different than signing a ball, can it? (AP)

Roger Clemens said on Tuesday that he's writing a book, because apparently that's what you do these days when you don't make it into the Hall of Fame. Either that, or reality shows.

We don't know much about the Clemens book. Only that it's in the works and there's no timetable set, according to David Lennon at Newsday.

"In the works" could really just mean Clemens saw Mike Piazza's book out and said, "Oh, hell no!" and angrily wrote 150 words in his iPhone notes app. A Clemens book, though? It could be epic — both for the interesting stories and the unintentional humor.

To help The Rocket along his creative path, The Stew has some chapter suggestions:

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• "The five people you meet at a party at Jose Canseco's house."

• "Hot muscle liniment on testicles and the human response"

• "The view from George's box. It's as magical as you'd think."

• "How to give every one of your possessions a name that starts with K."

• "Playing wiffle ball on the moon with Nolan Ryan and other things I might have done in the '80s."

• "The Rocket's deep thoughts on string theory, the global economy and Whataburger."

• "Letters I got from Little League team moms after I was in that Zest commercial."

• "Imparting life lessons to your children while throwing 100 MPH baseballs at their head."

• "Snowballs, soda cans, syringes and other things I'd like to throw at Mike Piazza."

• "Why I'm eternally grateful for Andy Pettitte ... for helping me build a deck in my backyard."

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