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David Brown

Centaurs among 10 reasons why A-Rod is struggling in Series

David Brown
Big League Stew

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After appearing to lick his unfair reputation for bombing in the postseason during a strong ALCS, Alex Rodriguez(notes) finds himself off to a rough start in the World Series.

The Yankees aren't collectively stinging the ball against Phillies pitching, but A-Rod's line so far — 0-for-8 with six strikeouts — has folks talking and will get New Yorkers booing if he doesn't turn himself around in Game 3.

So, what's the matter with baseball's highest-paid player? A-Rod's got a lot of personal baggage, from admitting to using performance-enhancing drugs, to his self-loving Details Magazine photo shoot, to his celebrity relationships, including his current romance with Kate Hudson. A recent US Weekly article reports that Rodriguez put portraits of himself as a centaur over his bed. The alleged detail might mean nothing, but most reports paint A-Rod as one complicated guy.

Here are 10 educated guesses as to what's going on inside A-Rod's head right now:

10. Not having agent Scott Boras standing behind home plate at all times (like he was at Angel Stadium) = Linus van Pelt not having his blanket.

9. Explosive capsules injected into bloodstream by potential father-in-law Kurt Russell was thrilling at first, but applied a little too much pressure.

8. Says the World Series culture just isn't as "loosey-goosey" as it is the ALCS, where he slugged .952.

7. Never quite sure when changeling manager Joe Girardi is going to write "C. Ransom 3B" in Yankees lineup card.

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6. Penny Lane told him she was moving to Morocco for a year with Russell from Stillwater.

5. He thinks Texas Rangers owner Tom Hicks put something in the Gator ... ade (blacks out).

4. Misdiagnosed condition of having to slap the ball away every time one comes near continues to mess with his swing.

3. When told by his hitting coach to visualize success, all he can see is this lady, Selena Roberts rummaging through his garbage.

2. Identity crisis deepens after mistakenly thinking Yankees fans chants of "Who's your daddy?" are for him.

1. Explaining the centaurs above his bed was easy enough, but Hudson's persistent questions about the portraits he owns depicting Derek Jeter(notes) as a unicorn make A-Rod really uncomfortable.

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