In April, when Bernie Carbo came forth to claim he hit a famous World Series home run while stoned — that, in fact, he played most of his entire career under the influence of drugs — I bought it. I still might.
After all, Bernie has run a ministry and says he's been clean for 15 years or so. You want to believe a guy, even if he tells a fantastic-sounding story, because nobody likes being lied to, for one. If it helps him come clean in his own life, and we get an entertaining story out of it, who's harmed?
But now, in a new interview, Carbo is coming out with another revelation: He tried to pay someone to break Keith Hernandez's arms during the '80s.
In an upcoming segment for ESPN's "Outside the Lines," Carbo said that in 1985 he became enraged when Hernandez testified in open court that Carbo introduced him to cocaine.
"I knew some people, and I had $2,000, and I asked them to break his arms," Carbo said. "He said, 'We'll do it in two or three years if you want it done, but we're not going to do it today, Bernie. If we went and broke his legs today, or broke his arms, you don't think they would understand that you are the one that had it done?' "
Watch a clip.
Basically, Carbo is saying "I hated Keith Hernandez." OK, OK, that's not far-fetched. But $2,000? Was that the going rate in '85 to break some limbs, Bernie? What's next — are you gonna tell us who really killed JFK? What's with all of the attention-seeking? Is the ministry in trouble? You just need money?
I hope, in the full interview, Mark Schwarz asks him, "OK. Is this it? Any more surprises? You looted the Jimmy Fund? Took George Scott for everything he was worth with loaded dice in a craps game? Stuck magnets to Don Zimmer's skull for kicks?"
Needless to say, nobody ever broke Hernandez's arms or legs, hitman-style. Unless you dig up the goons, or force some polygraphs, there's no way to corroborate Carbo's assertion. Until then, nice story, pretty boy.
But you know ... someone DID link Hernandez to a vast conspiracy a few years ago.