Sometimes you have to give genius its due. Andy Staples of Sports Illustrated, today we doff our cap to thee.
That requisite outdated honorific is due Staples because of his recent article digging up the best-named football recruits in the Class of 2011. While we all know about superstar defensive end Jadeveon Clowney, few among us were hot on the recruiting trail of God's Power Offor or Wonderful Terrific Monds II. You read that right, Wonderful Terrific Monds II is named for his father, Wonderful Terrific Monds, who happened to be a minor league baseball player. Really.
Those last two were the gems of Staples' latest compilation of stars whose birth certificates might be more framable than their forthcoming high school diplomas. God's Power Offor might just be the best-named top recruit since now-LSU up-and-comer Barkevious Mingo, and Wonderful Terrific Monds might have a future in marketing the novelty item of his choice, once he's done with his future in college football, likely at Kansas.
While Staples dug up some new nameplate stars, he also taught us that Phyre Quickly Burns, a former fullback in the Dallas area, is now toiling away playing for the Naval Academy Preparatory School in Rhode Island. That's not going to help his overall exposure, which could dim the changes of his phyre burning at the next level, if you can forgive the pun.
There's no pun to be told about Prince McJunkins. In fact, there's little to note about him except that he runs a 4.5-second 40-yard dash and is headed to Louisiana-Monroe; he's one of a handful of top-named high school prospects headed to schools in Louisiana and Oklahoma. Clowney could join that parade if he picks LSU on national signing day, an event that almost feels appropriate at this point, doesn't it?