Ian Poulter is wearing a lovely ensemble. (Getty Images)
AUGUSTA, Ga. — Sometimes it's best just to keep your witty opinions to yourself.
Ian Poulter, above, has a penchant for dressing — well, if we were being uncharitable, we'd say like college-dorm furniture, but we'll be nice and say "distinctively." And on 18, Poulter's attire suddenly became the story, as a patron, possibly emboldened by too many two-dollar beers, decided to take it upon himself to play fashion critic.
According to several witnesses, the patron, who was standing just to the left of the tee box, began mocking Poulter, saying "Your outfit looks stupid" at least twice. (One witness recalled it as "Your outfit stinks," but close enough.) Poulter then pointed at the patron, asked for security to remove him, and just like that, the patron was gone.
Here's where the story goes from "man, that was stupid" to "man, that was INSANELY stupid." The patron was wearing a badge, not a daily pass — the same kind of Masters badge that's a prized family heirloom, passed down from generation to generation. Two witnesses reported that when security at the tee called in the patron's badge number, the report came back that this was the second "incident" involving that same number.
Now, that "incident" could have been earlier in the day on Friday, or it could have been from 20 years ago. Either way, it's likely that this badge's number will join the No Longer Welcome at Augusta list. (Two Masters officials, including one present during the incident, naturally had no comment on any part of the matter.)
"Can you imagine if you'd loaned that guy your badge?" one patron mused. "You show up tomorrow to see the weekend, and ... sorry!"
So, yes, at Augusta National, watch what you say. And if you ARE going to get kicked out and lose your badge for all eternity, try to come up with a better line than "Your outfit looks stupid." That's a pretty weak epitaph.
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- Ian Poulter