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Each week the Noise highlights 10 somewhat un-obvious names whom he believes are destined to
implode leave egg on his face. To qualify, each player must be started in at least 50 percent of Yahoo leagues. Speaking as an accountability advocate, I will post results, whether genius or moronic, the following week using the scoring system shown here. If you're a member of TEAM HUEVOS, reveal your Week 1 Lames in the comments section below.
See Also: Week 1 Flames
Russell Wilson, Sea, QB (88 percent started, $43 in Yahoo DFS)
Matchup: at StL
Sadly, St. Louis will be the 'Gateway to Suck' for the Seattle QB. In six previous appearances against the Rams, Wilson posted rather pedestrian numbers (212.2 pass yards per game, 33.3 rushing yards per game, 6:4 TD:INT split). The seventh time around likely won't reverse the trend. Full disclosure, the passer dazzled the last time he visited St. Louis. Against an undermanned Rams defense he rolled up 419 combined yards and three total touchdowns. However in that game pocket menace Chris Long was out due to injury, a significant missing piece. With his ankle now at 100 percent Long and Robert Quinn should form arguably the most relentless 1-2 pass rush in the league. Toss in Nick Fairley's presence inside and the Rams defensive line looks quite fearsome, a daunting assignment for Seattle's transparent offensive line. Similar to last regular season, Wilson was badgered repeatedly in exhibition play. His 42.5 percent under pressure rate was second only to Carson Palmer's 46.2 among first-stringers. Jimmy Graham is a tree who should help alleviate some duress, but the heat will likely be intense. In what should be a scoring struggle, Ciara's cuddle-only buddy finishes outside the QB1 ranks in 12-team leagues.
Fearless Forecast: 17-26, 207 passing yards, 1 passing touchdown, 1 interception, 38 rushing yards, 15.0 fantasy points
Jamaal Charles, KC, RB (97 percent started, $30)
Matchup: at Hou
I can already hear the reactions to the JC of KC's inclusion on this list: "Crazy." "Reckless." "Irresponsible." "Just plain dumb." Charles definitely warranted a top-five overall pick. He's a three-down fixture in an Andy Reid offense that typically utilizes rushers in variable ways. He's also averaged 5.49 yards per carry in his career, a mark second all-time only to 40s/50s Cleveland Browns steamroller Marion Motley. However, there are forces working against His Holiness this week in Houston. The Texans should be exceptional against the run this season. Adding 'Plus-sized Mario' Vince Wilfork, who ranked top-10 among DTs against the run in 2014, to the Brian Cushing/J.J. Watt/Jadeveon Clowney mix only reinforces the seawall. Even without Wilfork, and for a large chunk Clowney, Houston surrendered a mere 4.09 yards per carry and three total TDs to RBs in eight home contests last year. Behind a reshuffled KC offensive line, which ranked in the lower third in run-blocking a season ago per Pro Football Focus, it could be tough sledding for Charles. Keep in mind, Reid occasionally forgets No. 25 is on the field. The Chief reached lameness seven times in 16 games last year. Similar to what he did in '14, he stumbles out of the blocks. Spend your DFS dimes elsewhere.
Fearless Forecast: 14 carries, 62 rushing yards, 3 receptions, 20 receiving yards, 0 touchdowns, 9.7 fantasy points
Melvin Gordon, SD, RB (79 percent started, $18)
Matchup: vs. Det
Your morbidly obese uncle probably ran harder than Gordon this summer. The rookie exhibited marginal vision, elusiveness and short-field quickness throughout the preseason finishing with a god awful 2.2 yards per carry. Though San Diego's permeable offensive line did him no favors, he struggled terribly adjusting to the Chargers' zone-blocking scheme, a system predicated on decisive cuts and downhill running. Gordon owns explosive speed and deceptive power, but severe limitations in other categories will likely keep him off the field until rectified. He's a below average pass-blocker and largely unspectacular as a receiver. Danny Woodhead, a much beloved and integral contributor, will play a substantial role within San Diego's proposed committee. Back from a broken leg, he's slated to reprise his gig as Swiss Army Knife. He'll see consistent action on pass/third downs and chip in the occasional goal-line tote, a presumed 10-12 touch per game workload is sure to madden Gordon owners. With Ndamukong Suh and Fairley no longer in Lions blue, Detroit's defensive line is more vulnerable than it's been in years. It would be no surprise if it ranked middle of the pack or worse against the run. Still, the San Diego's muddy RB waters don't lend much confidence. Tevin Coleman (vs. Phi), Rashad Jennings (at Dal) and Chris Ivory (vs. Cle) offer more Week 1 upside.
Fearless Forecast: 16 carries, 56 rushing yards, 0 receptions, 0 touchdowns, 5.6 fantasy points
Steve Smith, Bal, WR (50 percent started, $22)
Matchup: at Den
For the most part, I fully expect the geriatric to splash gleefully in the Fountain of Youth. With Breshad Perriman still possibly weeks away from returning and without much proven talent on roster, he truly is the only game in town. Though his workload will be significant, possibly exceeding 10 targets per game unto the rookie's return, his opening week matchup doesn't warrant warm and fuzzy feelings. In what will become a familiar theme for wide receivers this season, Denver is a place where production dies. Chris Harris, the No. 1 ranked cover corner in the league last season according to Pro Football Focus' metrics, and Aqib Talib are a blanketing tandem. Thrown at 184 times last season, they surrendered just 101 catches (54.8 catch percentage) at a clip of 9.64 yards per catch, a league low. Most impressively, not a soul scored a TD on Harris the entire regular season. No one. Joe Flacco has to throw to somebody. Smith, however, may do little with his opportunities. Sunnier days are ahead, but the veteran's Week 1 forecast is ominous.
Fearless Forecast: 4 receptions, 57 receiving yards, 0 touchdowns, 7.7 fantasy points
T.Y. Hilton, Ind, WR (91 percent started, $23)
Matchup: at Buf
This week, the Colts receiver may have more in common with the Bates Motel than the Hilton. Ralph Wilson Stadium will present numerous nightmares for visiting teams this season. Rex Ryan inherited an aggressive, lock-down defense, one that he will likely mold and shape into the NFL's best. Still, some view the Bills secondary as a weakness, specifically rookie corner Ronald Darby. The No. 50 overall pick in last May's NFL Draft, however, is no pushover. Ryan repeatedly talked him up throughout training camp and is unafraid of the kid's inexperience. GM Doug Whaley echoed the viewpoint noting Darby "exceeded expectations" in August. Match him with Stephen Gilmore and Corey Graham, DBs that ranked inside the top-25 in pass coverage according to PFF last year, and Hilton will have his hands full. Equally worrisome, Andrew Luck, working behind a largely ineffective offensive line, will be in a pressure cooker much of the afternoon. If that happens, deep shots downfield will be few and far between. Also recall Buffalo yielded a league-low 16 passing touchdowns last fall. Put it all together and it could be an uneventful start for the Pro Bowl wideout.
Fearless Forecast: 4 receptions, 65 receiving yards, 0 touchdowns, 8.5 fantasy points
BONUS WEEK 1 LAMES
#TEAMHUEVOS PICKS OF THE WEEK
Each week one fortunate guest prognosticator will have a chance to silence the Noise. Following the rules stated above, participants are asked to submit their "Flames" (1 QB, 2 RBs, 2 WRs, 1 TE, 1 D/ST) by midnight PT Tuesdays via Twitter @YahooNoise. How large are your stones?
@YahooNoise QB: T. Romo RB: L. Murray & D. Martin. WR: A. Johnson & M. Wallace. TE: J. Graham D/ST: New England
— Shrek (@AllStar9_Shrek) September 9, 2015
Want to bull rush Brad? Find him on Twitter. Also, check out the Yahoo! Fantasy and Rotoworld crew every Tuesday-Thursday on 'Fantasy Football Live' starting at 6:30 PM ET on NBC Sports Network (Find channel here). Additionally, tune into 'FFL' radio on Yahoo! Sports Radio Sundays at 9 AM ET.