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Mostly NFL Notes: Talking Tom Brady, Ben Roethlisberger and a look around the league

Tom Brady entered Sunday night without Julian Edelman, Dion Lewis and Danny Amendola against a Denver defense that allowed the fewest fantasy points to opposing quarterbacks, including a 6.2 YPA and an 8:10 TD:INT ratio. Brady proceeded to throw for 280 yards with three scores and no picks, finishing with a 99.3 QB Rating. It’s clear Brady and Bill Belichick combine for the best offensive machine in recent history, although that would be truly tested if Rob Gronkowski missed time after leaving Sunday night’s game. The good news is the tight end only suffered a bone bruise and is week-to-week. Even if he did miss time, Amendola could be back in Week 13, and guys like Keshawn Martin and Scott Chandler (who led the Patriots with 11 targets Sunday night and would be an immediate TE1 fantasy option if Gronk is sidelined) would take a “next up” role in a juggernaut. Of course, Gronk owners will be holding their breaths.

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Meanwhile in Denver, Demaryius Thomas didn’t catch a ball until he saw his 11th target with barely more than two minutes left in the fourth quarter, finishing with a pathetic 2.8 YPT...C.J. Anderson and Ronnie Hillman combined for 172 yards on 29 carries (5.9 YPC) with three touchdowns against a New England defense that entered having allowed the fifth fewest fantasy points to opposing running backs, including just four TDs. There was no clarity revealed between Anderson and Hillman, but it’s clear Brock Osweiler’s ability to throw the ball downfield has opened up Denver’s rushing attack.

The Rams have combined for an 8:9 TD:INT ratio through 11 games...Meanwhile, Andy Dalton tossed three scores, got 8.4 YPA and finished with a 121.4 QB Rating against a St. Louis defense that entered having allowed the second-fewest fantasy points to opposing passers...The dire Rams QB situation has been a real problem for Todd Gurley, who hasn’t reached 90 rushing yards (or 3.9 YPC) in any of his past four games. Sunday marked the end of a five-game TD streak, meaning he should remain a must-start RB1 down the stretch, thanks in part to St. Louis now having three straight home games...Jeremy Hill looked as good as he has all season, so let’s hope his ankle injury isn’t serious heading into a matchup against a Browns front seven that’s allowed the most rushing yards to opposing backs this year.

This unexplained, eerie car accident has everyone freaked out.

Eli Manning was hardly sharp, but his two early picks came thanks to deflections off his receivers’ hands that were in no way his fault. Although to be fair, he benefitted from what might be yet again the best catch of the year by Odell Beckham Jr...Washington leads the NFC East with a 5-6 record and a -26 point differential. The 3-7 Ravens have been outscored by fewer points...Since Week 1, Kirk Cousins is 5-0 at home, posting a 10:0 TD:INT ratio while also adding three rushing scores...No one in the league makes a long touchdown catch look easier than a healthy DeSean Jackson.

Adrian Peterson has totaled 607 yards and five touchdowns over the past four games...After averaging 104.8 receiving yards over the first four games of his career, Stefon Diggs has averaged 46.3 during four contests since...Tevin Coleman looked terrific at times and finished with 110 yards on 18 carries (with a goal-line score taken away on a specious penalty). But he also lost a fumble at the end of a 46-yard run (which marked his third fumble during his previous 30 carries) and had two brutal drops, one that might have gone for a score and another that would’ve gained at least 35 yards downfield. Despite the clear mistakes, he’ll remain a must-start as long as Devonta Freeman is out, although the latter should return soon.

In case you missed it, the Internet is freaking out about this Jeopardy contestant’s voice.

Over the last five games, the Dolphins are 1-4, with their average margin of defeat by 18.3 points. Their lone victory was a one-point win over Philadelphia. Seriously, how bad are the Eagles?...It doesn’t get much worse for owners of Lamar Miller, who totaled 13 yards on eight touches...Jarvis Landry hadn’t reached 85 receiving yards in any of his past eight games despite averaging 9.1 targets, so naturally, he went off for 165 yards against a Jets secondary that entered having allowed the third-fewest YPA (6.6). Of course, Darrelle Revis’ absence helped, as did a whopping 16 looks...Chris Ivory will not be brought down.

Facing a defense that came in ceding the most fantasy points to opposing backs, it was disappointing T.J. Yeldon got fewer carries than a combination of Blake Bortles, Denard Robinson and Marqise Lee. Meanwhile, Melvin Gordon is now up to 170 touches without a score. He had 32 touchdowns over 14 games in college last year...Bortles was just slightly over the line of scrimmage during this TD pass attempt...With mounting injuries and just one touchdown pass in plus matchups over the previous two games, I lowered Philip Rivers in my rankings and confidently started Brian Hoyer over him in a couple of leagues, which was to my detriment after he went for 300 yards with a 4:0 TD:INT ratio. Sometimes I really hate fantasy football.

Sammy Watkins was easily one of the most impressive players of the week. He finished with 158 yards and two touchdowns, and it’s clear he’s going to be a major star if he can ever stay healthy...LeSean McCoy totaled 101 yards with a score against a Chiefs defense that entered having yielded the third-fewest fantasy points to opposing RBs. He’s seen 20 targets over the past three games after totaling 37 over 16 contests last season and is locked in as an obvious top-five RB right now...Speaking of top-five backs, Spencer Ware should also be considered one as long as Charcandrick West is out. All of K.C.’s remaining opponents have losing records.

Here’s “Goose” ejected for throwing a beer on a player.

I loved all Texans this week, but their vastly improved defense hurt the offense from having a huge day. DeAndre Hopkins went from going off in a game in which Darrelle Revis shadowed him to being held to just 36 yards against a historically bad Saints defense...J.J. Watt has 9.5 sacks over his past five games...Drew Brees has gotten 8.8 YPA with a 14:4 TD:INT ratio at home compared to 6.7 and 6:6 on the road during the exact same 207 attempts this season...Sunday marked New Orleans’ first game without a touchdown in a decade.

Headlines of the Week: Chinese Woman Presumed Dead For 10 Years, Found Living In Internet Café...Selfie-Taking Rat Startles Man Who Passed Out At Brooklyn Subway Stop...Man Pleads Guilty To Stealing Human Brains From Indiana Medical Museum...I Caught My Super Sniffing My Underwear, Swiping My Lingerie...Doo Doo The Clown Commended For Saving Two Women From ‘Petrifying’ Attack.

Matt Hasselbeck is somehow 4-0 as a starter despite getting just 6.6 YPA while taking eight sacks. I’d fire up Pittsburgh’s defense in Week 13...Tampa Bay’s rush defense continues to improve, with Frank Gore (19 carries for 24 yards) its latest victim...Mike Evans had another brutal drop, but Jameis Winston missed him on a would-be long TD in which he was open...T.Y. Hilton averaged 39.3 yards with no scores over his previous three games before getting 95 yards with two scores Sunday.

This Craig Stevens catch was legit...Michael Crabtree turned eight targets into 19 yards, although he scored unlike Amari Cooper, as the former continues to be targeted far more than the rookie inside the red zone...Over his last six games, Derek Carr has a 16:3 TD:INT ratio. During that span, Detroit held him to zero TD passes (the Lions seriously might be legit right now). Carr’s 24 TD passes are the third-most in the NFL, and his QB Rating is higher than Aaron Rodgers’.

Police Blotter: Man Named Miller Steals Coors Light Truck; Runs Himself Over During Escape...Girlfriend Hits Woman With Ax For Hugging Boyfriend...Wife Who Poisoned Husband Is Foiled By Spelling Mistake...Mom Hosted Pot, Beer Bash For Kids...“He’s Not A Bad Father:” Man Accused Of Not Paying Child Support For His 17 Kids...Man Stabs Parents After They Ordered Fast Food But Didn’t Get Any For Him.

Michael Floyd, who was deemed healthy and had scored five touchdowns over his previous four games played, was held to just 14 yards on two targets...Carson Palmer leads the NFL with 27 touchdown passes, but he didn’t toss one against the 49ers when he entered as double-digit favorites, although he did run in his first score since Week 6 of the 2012 season...The 49ers are still searching for their first TD in the first quarter this season. San Francisco committed 13 penalties and had zero third down conversions, which isn’t an ideal combination.

Longread of the Week: The Serial Swatter

Ben Roethlisberger threw for 456 yards in Seattle (the most ever against the Seahawks), so I stand by this Pittsburgh team being one of the best in the NFL (I bet heavily on this), but him leaving late is obviously quite a concern. If healthy, he should be considered the No. 1 fantasy QB down the stretch (Antonio Bown and Martavis Bryant are by far the best WR duos in the league, and Roethisberger is getting 8.8(!) YPA). Markus Wheaton also just got 201 receivng yards!..After throwing for exactly one score in seven straight games, Russell Wilson has now gone off for an 8:0 TD:INT ratio over the past two games...Doug Baldwin getting 145 receiving yards and three scores has to be one of the biggest surprises of the year, highlighted by this hookup that cost people like myself who backed the Steelers a lot of money after Mike Tomlin for some reason kicked a FG down five points on fourth-and-goal from the three with three minutes left...Phil Simms giving Mike Carey an excuse for how bad he is (“I can hear you’re a little under the weather”) might have been my favorite moment of the week, and this was before Carey was wrong during an even more obvious review later in the game.

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