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Mostly NFL Notes: Week 1 Recap

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He's back (USP)

Matt Ryan entered Sunday with a 6.6 career YPA outdoors but got 9.6 with four touchdowns and zero interceptions. It's worth pointing out he typically kills poor competition while shrinking against elite teams, but Ryan now has a 14:0 TD:turnover ratio over his last five regular season games…In a game in which his team scored 40 points and moved the ball at will through the air, it's not exactly encouraging Michael Turner managed just 2.9 YPC…I don't doubt the KC backfield will be a committee, and Peyton Hillis will get goal-line work and see better days, but it's beyond clear Jamaal Charles is the superior option…I bet on Julio Jones to finish with the most receiving yards this season at 15-1 odds, but I'm already highly concerned. The fact you can't gain yards once you cross the goal line is going to be a major hindrance…Dexter McCluster had more receiving yards this week than Dwayne Bowe, DeSean Jackson, Marques Colston, Brandon Lloyd, Wes Welker, Rob Gronkowski, Aaron Hernandez, Stevie Johnson, Santonio Holmes, Justin Blackmon, Vincent Jackson, Larry Fitzgerald, Greg Jennings, Jordy Nelson, Miles Austin, Victor Cruz, Hakeem Nicks, Antonio Brown, Mike Wallace, Eric Decker, A.J. Green and Torrey Smith.

This footage of a family of ducks crossing a five-lane highway is extremely suspenseful.

The Browns allowed the second fewest fantasy points to opposing wide receivers last season, but did Michael Vick really throw four picks? Even with an anemic 51.0 QB rating, thanks to volume, he racked up 317 passing yards, two TDs and 32 rushing yards. Got to love Philly's system…Brandon Weedon, who is older than Aaron Rodgers, finished his first career start with a 5.1 QB rating, which has been pointed out as nearly identical to his career ERA (5.02)…Did Greg Little die and I miss it?...Trent Richardson didn't impress and the offense looks dire, but he got 19 of the 20 carries by Cleveland running backs and was returning from knee surgery without much practice. T-Rich is going to dominate the Browns' workload, and better days are ahead. Buy-low if you can…LeSean McCoy had six catches - a number he matched just once all of last season. While his TDs should drop this year, expect his receptions to be much closer to his 2010 season (78) than last year's (48).

Woman falls asleep on scooter with disastrous results.

It was a favorable matchup, but wow did Robert Griffin impress. He had the second most passing yards ever in a debut and added 42 rushing yards as well. Losing top target Pierre Garcon mattered little, as Griffin appears to be the real deal, making the NFC East the most ridiculous division in recent memory…Darren Sproles ended with fine fantasy numbers, but he had zero carries. He now has five touchdown catches over his past six games, but that's a dangerous thing to rely on moving forward. Then again, it's not like he doesn't deserve more carries, as Mark Ingram continues to look thoroughly unimpressive…This was the Saints' first home loss since 2010…If you're going to leave the game with an injury, I suppose the best time would be after an 88-yard touchdown catch…It's not surprising Alfred Morris started and led the Redskins in carries, but it's pretty funny he dominated work with 28 rushing attempts considering the recent history with Washington backs. Who knows how long it will last, but he's obviously looking like a highly valuable fantasy commodity right now…We will see many worse decisions this year, but I totally disagreed with the Saints kicking a field goal down 16 points with 1:50 left in the third quarter (when their defense had already allowed 30 points). Teams still haven't grasped the whole 15 yards = 1 point thing. The loss of Sean Payton was felt greatly here.

Here's crazy and painful footage of a boat crash.

As someone who picked the Texans in Survivor pools, can I take a second to chide how lucky you Lions backers were? Not that I saw that coming (Detroit was my second choice), but what a game…A terrible pick-six by Matthew Stafford, but he continues to be money in clutch situations, and he was victim to some pretty bad drops. Also, his three-yard catch reminded me when back in the day Brad Johnson both threw and caught a TD on the same play for my fantasy team…Sam Bradford got more than 7.3 YPA in a game for just the third time in his career…Not to beat a dead horse, but Kevin Smith will put up RB1 numbers on a per-game basis this year.

I'm not ready to call this the worst infomercial ever, but it's up there.

I blew it with Stevan Ridley. I spoke glowingly of him in early August but got skittish when I stupidly listened to beat writer's noise about Shane Vereen impressing in practice, expecting yet another timeshare. Dumb, dumb, dumb. Ridley, who broke five tackles Sunday, would be worth a top-15 overall pick in drafts held today…Brandon Lloyd led NE in receiving yards and just missed a 50-yard touchdown. He'll be fine…Chris Johnson with 11 carries for four yards? Really? At least he added six catches for 47 yards. I'm more buying low than selling here, but that wasn't exactly the best start to his supposed rebound campaign. The offensive line obviously deserved some blame, but that could be a year-long problem. There's also the possibility New England's defense is much improved this year. CJ?K owners sure hope that's the case.

Man faked his own death to propose.

In my seven draft leagues (meaning non-auction) this year, I somehow got the first pick in five and the second pick in the other two (the odds of this are astronomical), ending up with Arian Foster in a whopping six of them. So his knee injury wasn't exactly ideal. As a result, I started both him and Ben Tate in a few leagues. I'm not exactly complaining, but man did the Dolphins blow up the Texans' backfield more often than I expected. And speaking of surprising, why was Houston giving carries to Foster in a 30-10 game with 2:30 left? Although I suppose that's good news for his owners moving forward, as I now can't imagine starting Tate in pretty much any circumstance unless Foster is inactive…Pretty rough start for Ryan Tannehill, who also showed during "Hard Knocks" he not only doesn't know the NFL divisions but is also oblivious to which teams are in which conference, but it's tough to feel too bad for someone who gets to come home to Lauren.

Here's a zoo that encourages its customers to tease tigers up close and personal.

The Jets/Bills spread opened at NYJ -6 and lowered all the way to -3 by game time thanks solely to preseason hype/performance, so naturally, the Jets won in a 48-28 blowout…I, for one, didn't see Stephen Hill and Jeremy Kerley combining for three touchdowns. Maybe it was just me though…Steve Johnson owners were lucky Darrelle Revis left the game…Really tough loss for Fred Jackson owners. C.J. Spiller once again impressed while stepping in, totaling a whopping 194 yards on just 16 touches. He's a sudden top-10 option while Jackson is out…Especially with all the Jets' trouble at right tackle, where was Mario Williams?

Here's a pretty great compilation of the worst answers in "Family Feud" history.

At least the pecking order is pretty clear in Minnesota's and Jacksonville's backfields, even if I might have predicted the opposite for Week 1. I appreciate the no nonsense approach, although I'd argue all the misguided info leading up to it hurts fantasy owners more than it does their actual opponents, but I digress…The only early game blacked out Sunday, this actually turned out to be a great finish. Down five, Blaine Gabbert tossed a 39-yard touchdown with 20 seconds left (then proceeded to execute the 2-point conversion). And then the Vikings kicked a 55-yard field goal to tie it in the ensuing drive at the buzzer. Then it became the first regular season OT with the new rules ever, and it actually utilized the revised rules. On 4th-and-2 with the game on the line, not sure I can get behind Gabbert throwing the ball deep downfield into coverage when a first down is essentially sudden death…Beat writers have called for Jones-Drew's demise, but he led the league this week with six missed tackles.

This lady may not know much "of a football," but she sure has a lot to say to Kyle Flood and Eric LeGrand. What an interviewer.

I'm a full-blown Andrew Luck backer, but he threw some pretty bad interceptions Sunday that I have no excuses for. It obviously wasn't the most ideal first start playing in Chicago with a poor offensive line, but Indy's bad defense revealed why Luck can be valuable even while struggling, as the game situation led to 45 passes (and a whopping 18 targets to Reggie Wayne). Remain patient if you own Luck or try to trade for him if you don't, as much bigger things are to come…Donald Brown had two horrific drops, one when it was 3rd-and-1 and the game was close and he had a ton of open space ahead of him…Brandon Marshall was targeted inside the three yard line three times, scoring once and drawing a pass interference on the other two. For someone who's scored double-digit TDs just once in his career and averaged only 4.5 over the past two seasons, I fully expect 10+ this year…I wouldn't be surprised if both Michael Bush scored double-digit touchdowns and Matt Forte challenged for the league-lead in yards from scrimmage…Jay Cutler started 1-12 for 13 yards and a pick-six but made some ridiculous throws afterward in what ended up being a fine performance. To me, this game spoke more about how dangerous the Bears are than how bad the Colts might be.

To call this caterpillar suicidal would be a vast understatement.

I had Carolina as my "best bet" this week, so I wasn't exactly pleased with this result. The Panthers led the NFL in YPC last season and then proceeded to get 10 rushing yards against a Tampa Bay defense (tying a Bucs franchise record) that allowed the most fantasy points to opposing running backs last year. I apologize to all DeAngelo Williams owners, as I proclaimed him a top-10 RB start, with little hesitation…I'll say this for Tampa Bay, they certainly looked like a different team than they did at the end of last season (when they appeared to give up. The coaching change seems huge)…When with the ball, Steve Smith's defense mechanisms are more bitch slap than stiff arm. Seriously, despite his size, name one player you'd take in the league to beat him in a fight. He forced five missed tackles Sunday.

What in the world is going on here with the trajectory of this home run? (h/t Mike Salfino)

Not that it wasn't before, but the Arizona rushing attack is officially a stay away zone for the time being…Like pretty much all big name RB risks this week, Marshawn Lynch dominated the workload and appears good to go moving forward…Sidney Rice puts up top-25 per-game ranks this year, but there's no doubt he remains one of the league's biggest injury risks…Obviously it should come as no surprise Russell Wilson struggled during his first regular season action, but he remains a high-end QB2 to stash on your bench…There are going to be mistakes, just like the regular refs would have made, but giving a team four timeouts is pretty bad.

Here's a bison attacking some unsuspecting onlookers.

There were some absolutely insane calls during the Packers/49ers game. Jim Harbaugh started foaming at the mouth at one point…After winning 19 straight, Green Bay is now 2-3 over its last five games…The 49ers haven't committed a turnover in the regular season over their past 26 quarters…It was odd to see Patrick Willis removed on so many passing downs ostensibly healthy. Has Navarro Bowman quietly become the better player?...Randall Cobb lined up in the backfield 15+ times and had numerous clearly designed plays for him, and he and James Jones become all that more interesting with Greg Jennings' health status in doubt for Thursday's game…I'm giving Cedric Benson a mulligan based on the matchup…Green Bay trailed a total of 3:14 at home with Aaron Rodgers starting last season…I originally didn't think it mattered, but it was astutely pointed out to me that down 15 points the Packers should have gone for two on their first touchdown, as that way they know exactly what they need moving forward….The David Akers 63-yard field goal was nice, but don't forget about the Colin Kaepernick run to set it up beforehand. Expect SF to use that formation plenty of times this year…Alex Smith set a franchise record for most consecutive pass attempts (185) without throwing an interception, as the Niners continue to win the turnover battle…As a 49ers fan, what was I thinking rooting so hard for the Giants to win in Lambeau in the playoffs last year?

Here's a screaming sheep.

Did Von Miller really "Tebow" after a sack?...I liked Isaac Redman in May (strong 3.1 YPC after contact last season), but man have things changed since then. He's borderline droppable. I'd prefer Jonathan Dwyer…Go Demaryius Thomas…What was Big Ben and Pittsburgh thinking spiking the ball with 36 seconds left in the second quarter at the 4-yard line? Call a play! It was subsequently 3rd-and-goal with a mere 32 seconds left right afterward. It didn't end up hurting them, but that's obviously beside the point. Just dumb…Peyton Manning sure looked good. The Broncos were an obvious pick to regress after making the playoffs despite getting outscored by 81 points last year, and they have a very difficult schedule, but I still say they make the playoffs, because quarterback means that much.

The claim is this plant "plays dead" when touched, but there's a lack of evidence it ever recovers.

I was way down on BenJarvus Green-Ellis, but I admit he looked (and Cincy's run blocking) very good Monday night. I'm willing to immediately reassess this situation and say I might have been dead wrong…I'm also willing to admit Andrew Hawkins would maybe beat me in a race…No one cares about my fantasy team, but my home league came down to facing Baltimore's defense, so Bruce Gradkowski's two uncontested fumbles at the end there nearly gave me a heart attack…Hard to complain about Ray Rice's performance, but it's worth noting he got just 10 carries in a 31-point blowout. The Ravens' no-huddle scheme looks here to stay, also making Joe Flacco suddenly an intriguing fantasy option.

Pretty terrifying mid-air plane collusion.

Longread of the week: A Murder Foretold

It was unfortunate the team's starting snapper got hurt, but wow, that was amateur hour in Oakland. They couldn't get off three of their final four punt attempts (and the other just barely). Only the Raiders. I have friends who are die hards, and I feel for them. It's just such a circus no matter who's in charge…If he can somehow stay healthy, Darren McFadden apparently will approach 500 touches this season. He had 11 targets in the first half!...Ronnie Brown is done. No San Diego RB is worth using until Ryan Mathews returns…Don't worry, bigger things are ahead for Philip Rivers, Carson Palmer, Malcom Floyd, Antonio Gates and Darrius Heyward-Bey. That was a weird game…Football is back!!!

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