Each week the Noise highlights 10 bold names who he believes are destined to torpedo your team leave egg on his face. For those playing the Lames home edition, each player must be started in at least 50 percent of Yahoo! leagues to qualify. As an accountability advocate, results, whether genius or moronic, will post the following week using the scoring system shown here. If you're a member of TEAM HUEVOS, post your Week 3 Lames in the comments section below.
Tom Brady, NE, QB (99-percent started)
Matchup: at Bal
This week, Ray Lewis and friends will stain the "toughest metrosexual's" sheepskin UGG boots. Fresh off an earth-shattering home loss to Arizona, the Pats will attempt to regain their composure in one of the NFL's most thankless environments, M&T Bank Stadium. Though his final Week 2 output was quite respectable (316-1-1), Brady was largely uneven against Arizona. Cardinals bookends Calais Campbell and Darnell Docket dominated the line of scrimmage, forcing four sacks. Despite being under duress just 19-percent of the time, Brady looked occasionally bewildered. The increased pocket pressure and loss of Aaron Hernandez in the first half knocked New England off-kilter. Another onslaught should be expected in Baltimore. Over their first two games (vs. CIN and PHI), the Ravens blitzed on 40-percent of the time. In total, they've forced six turnovers and tallied six sacks. If the Pats' pass protection again wanes, it could be another long, frustrating four quarters for the sloth-footed signal caller. It's imperative historical safety blanket Wes Welker, whose sudden decline has been the subject of much discussion, elevates his game. Recall in the conference championship a season ago versus Baltimore Brady salvaged an otherwise lousy day (239-0-2) with a 1-yard TD sneak. In the rematch, the model-faced QB may resemble Medusa.
Fearless Forecast: 24-38, 255 passing yards, 1 passing touchdown, 2 interceptions, 0 rushing yards, 14.8 fantasy points
LeSean McCoy, Phi, RB (99-percent started)
Matchup: at Ari
Many will claim the Noise has officially lost his marbles advertising one of the league's elite rushers in this space, but any player, regardless of clout, isn't completely immune to fantasy failure. Last season, Arian Foster, who bested McCoy in per game average by almost a full point, registered three Lame-worthy performances on the year. The Eagles Pro Bowler, one of the steadiest producers in the virtual game, totaled only four underwhelming efforts. He is arguably the most well-rounded back in the league today. But don't be shocked if Week 3 is his first face-plant of 2012. The Cardinals, as discussed above, are a defense on the rise. Their mind-blowing containment of New England last week was completely unexpected. Still, even given its ups and downs, Arizona has executed well at home in recent years, especially versus the run. In their past nine games at the UPS, the Desert Birds have conceded just 3.7 yards per carry to visiting rushers, including limiting Marshawn Lynch to 97 yards on 23 touches (4.2 ypt) Week 1. McCoy blasted AZ for 93 total yards and a touchdown last season in Philly. However, in the rematch, a pair of aces may not be in the Cards. Replacement refs with fantasy interests be warned.
Adrian Peterson, Min, RB (89-percent started)
Matchup: vs. SF
What Peterson has accomplished roughly nine months removed to annihilating his ACL/MCL is nothing short of extraordinary. His regenerative healing factor is akin to Wolverine's. Through two games, he's splashed six twice and totaled 167 yards, averaging a characteristic 4.4 yards per carry. Impressively 71 of his 144 rushing yards have come after contact. However, despite his miraculous recovery and early season performance, the Purple Jesus likely won't carry his followers to the Promised Land in Week 3. San Francisco's impervious frontline presents a major roadblock. Hole plungers Patrick Willis and NaVorro Bowman currently rank inside the top-7 in run coverage according to Pro Football Focus. The pair have already combined for 10 stops (Plays that result in offensive failure). Equally daunting, since Week 1 of 2010, a span of 34 regular season games, opposing rushers have averaged just 3.4 yards per carry versus the Gold Panners. And only four have eclipsed the century mark in a game during that span. Peterson may be at or near 100-percent, but this week, he'll likely churn out only half his normal output.
Fearless Forecast: 17 carries, 58 rushing yards, 3 receptions, 11 receiving yards, 0 touchdowns, 9.2 fantasy points
Vincent Jackson, TB, WR (68-percent started)
Matchup: at Dal
Though Mike Williams flashed playmaker skills in his rookie season, most agree, big-play ability the upside of Jackson's hasn't been seen in Tampa since the days of Joey Galloway. And that was an eternity ago. But for fantasy's rollercoaster ride, it's one week up, one week down. Coming off a monstrous game in New York (10-5-128-1), it would only seem appropriate for Jackson to pull a Houdini in Big D. Dallas defensive backs Brandon Carr and rookie Morris Claiborne have played marvelously thus far. Versus the rival Giants Week 1 and the Seahawks last Sunday, no wideout surpassed 60 yards against them. Most outstandingly, Carr has surrendered a mere 37.5-percent catch rate. In other words, the man has blanketed his assignments. Jackson's height and supreme athleticism are tough to contain, but last year in games where he topped the 100-yard mark the week before, he averaged just 36 yards in the followup. Again, the man is the essence of inconsistency. Take the odds. He disappears in Dallas.
Fearless Forecast: 3 receptions, 47 receiving yards, 0 touchdowns, 6.9 fantasy points
Demaryius Thomas, Den, WR (90-percent started)
Matchup: vs. Hou
When Thomas was separated at birth from twin Brandon Marshall, he apparently took both of their hands with him. The wideout, whose muscular frame and excellent athleticism are eerily similar to the ex-Bronco's, has become the apple of Peyton Manning's eye, particularly inside the red-zone. In the early going, he's out-targeted teammate Eric Decker 18-to-15, hauling in 13 receptions for 188 yards and two touchdowns. His resulting 15.4 fantasy points per mark sits atop the pole position among wide receivers. His breakout season, which many projected once elder Manning came aboard, is well underway. However, even the studliest pass catchers take the occasional siesta, an unfortunate outcome that could impact Thomas this week. Houston, one of the league's finest defenses top-to-bottom, has grounded the pass. Of the 21 balls thrown Kareem Jackson and Jonathan Joseph's direction only 42.8 percent reached their destinations unobstructed. No surprise, both DBs rank inside Pro Football Focus' pass coverage top-20. And don't automatically assume their soft early schedule has greatly inflated the pair's prowess. Joseph was especially spectacular last year. Thomas is a strong, physical receiver who wins most one-on-one battles, but Joseph, though giving up three inches, is equally tenacious. If Manning's downfield throws flutter again, it could be a quiet day in Denver for DT.
Fearless Forecast: 4 receptions, 58 receiving yards, 0 touchdowns, 8.8 fantasy points
BONUS WEEK 3 LAMES
TEAM HUEVOS PICKS OF THE WEEK
Each week one fortunate guest prognosticator will have a chance to silence the Noise. Following the rules stated above, participants are asked to submit their "Flames" (1 QB, 2 RBs, 2 WRs, 1 TE, 1 D/ST) by midnight PT Mondays via Twitter @YahooNoise. How large are your stones?
Reader Record: 2-12, (14.3%)
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