Each week the Noise highlights 10 bold names who he believes are destined to torpedo your team leave egg on his face. For those playing the Lames home edition, each player must be started in at least 50 percent of Yahoo! leagues to qualify. As an accountability advocate, results, whether genius or moronic, will post the following week using the scoring system shown here. If you're a member of TEAM HUEVOS, post your Week 9 Lames in the comments section below.
Eli Manning, NYG, QB (76-percent started)
Matchup: vs. Pit
Over the past three weeks, the king of consistency has donned a paper crown. Though his 337-1-2 output against Washington's ghastly secondary Week 7 was commendable, lackluster efforts at San Francisco (193-1-0) and last week at Dallas (192-0-1) surely left his fan-base dissatisfied. Now averaging a bland 20.5 points per game in standard formats, the 15th-best output among signal callers, he's far from a QB1 lock. Don't expect a sudden about face this week. Sans its leader Troy Polamalu, Pittsburgh doesn't resemble the Steel Curtain of year's past. The Steelers have recorded just 12 sacks on the season, the fifth-fewest in the NFL. Still, the secondary has executed fairly well outside Ike Taylor. In particular, safety Ryan Clark, who has allowed a lowly 23.1 QB rating this season, has routinely spooked opposing QBs. Though PIT has surrendered 11 passing touchdowns on the year, including a pair to Eli's older brother in Week 1, it's given up a mere 6.0 YPA and 192.4 passing yards per game. In fact, only Peyton and Carson Palmer surpassed the 20-point mark against it. Another week of miniature numbers could be in the offing for the Giant.
Fearless Forecast: 18-30, 209 passing yards, 1 passing touchdown, 1 interception, 13.4 fantasy points
Matchup: at Oak
An offensive line without Carl Nicks is akin to U2 sans The Edge. Losing the mountain-moving guard, undoubtedly one of the league's premier run-blockers, is a crippling blow to Martin's rest of season value. Talk about bad timing. Everything was finally coming together for the rookie rusher. Over the past few weeks, the Bucs pass game and O-line had clearly clicked, opening up walrus wide holes for the youngster to burst through. His otherworldly 214 total yard, 2-TD performance last week in Minnesota was clear proof. It's hard to predict exactly how the Bucs offense will react to Nicks' absence, but this week's matchup was tough to begin with. The Raiders, widely believed to be softies between the tackles, have hardened of late. Over the past five weeks, Oakland has yielded just 3.4 yards per carry to RBs. And on the season hole plunger Richard Seymour ranks seventh against the run, regardless of defensive position, according to Pro Football Focus. Matt Shaughnessy, Rolando McClain and Philip Wheeler also rank highly. Martin's dynamite versatility and substantial workload are major turn-ons, but the opponent and departure of Nicks muddies his expected performance in O-Town.
Jamaal Charles, KC, RB (91-percent started)
Matchup: at SD
When it comes to constructing an offensive game-plan, human Great Pumpkin, Romeo Crennel, is a master architect. At every critical turn, he knows the perfect play to call, maximizing his team's scoring performance. He's even fully aware of all personnel... Obviously, that viewpoint is the furthest from the truth. The clueless head coach, who offered no reason why Charles inexplicably registered just eight touches last week versus Oakland, would have difficulties organizing a two-car funeral. Offensive coordinator, Brian Daboll, would too. Beyond brainless, the Chiefs' best offensive player has seen only 51.6-percent of game snaps since Week 4. Presumably healthy, his dramatic misuse is perplexing. Because of KC's defensive and vertical shortcomings and with Peyton Hillis now healthy, it's very possible Charles won't log another 20-touch workload anytime soon. At this point, he shouldn't be labeled a top-10 or even a top-15 RB, including this week. San Diego ranks middle-of-the-pack in fantasy points allowed to RBs. Last week, Trent Richardson unplugged the Chargers piling up 134 yards and a TD on 25 touches. Still, they've yielded a mere 3.8 YPC to RBs on the season and have defended home field well. In what could be an ugly affair for the short-rested Chiefs, expect the JC of KC to notch devilish numbers. Be afraid.
Fearless Forecast: 14 carries, 56 rushing yards, 3 receptions, 17 receiving yards, 0 touchdowns, 9.5 fantasy points
Matchup: vs. Dal
For Julio owners, home is where the heartache is. Strangely, when performing under the bright lights of the Georgia Dome, the insanely talented wideout has disappeared. In three home contests, he's failed to find the end-zone and totaled a disappointing nine receptions for 107 yards. And two of those three letdowns came against exploitable opponents (CAR and OAK). Another vanishing act could be on the docket in primetime. Evident in last week's masterful containment of Victor Cruz and Hakeem Nicks, the Cowboys secondary is one of the league's most unforgiving. Though only adequate at corner, Dallas' strong play at safety explains its stinginess. On the year only Brandon Marshall and Brandon LaFell have tallied 10-plus fantasy points against the 'Boys. Jones' hand concerns are in the past and his blend of size, speed and physicality is ridiculous, but don't be surprised if he produces only modest totals in Week 9.
Fearless Forecast: 4 receptions, 39 receiving yards, 0 touchdowns, 6.9 fantasy points
Matchup: vs. Phi
Brandon Jacobs may be the original Football Frankenstein, but Graham is also deserving of such a moniker. The tight end is brutishly strong and soft-handed. When he's at full strength, it seems no amount of pitchforks or torches could take him down. But hampered by a nagging ankle injury, the receiving monster has rarely frightened the competition this season. In three of six games he failed to reach the 8-fantasy point mark. However, his 5-63-1 line last week in a humiliating beat-down at Denver was a step in the right direction. Still, given the tough matchup, there are no guarantees his Week 8 output will spark a scoring revival. Unlike previous years, the Eagles are very strong in coverage across the middle. Earlier this season, DeMeco Ryans and friends held position standouts Tony Gonzalez, Brandon Pettigrew, Heath Miller and Martellus Bennett to a combined 11 receptions and 100 yards without a touchdown. Graham could be the next to be kept under wraps.
Fearless Forecast: 4 receptions, 50 receiving yards, 0 touchdowns, 8.0 fantasy points
BONUS WEEK 9 LAMES
TEAM HUEVOS PICKS OF THE WEEK
Each week one fortunate guest prognosticator will have a chance to silence the Noise. Following the rules stated above, participants are asked to submit their "Lames" (1 QB, 2 RBs, 2 WRs, 1 TE, 1 D/ST) by midnight PT Tuesdays via Twitter @YahooNoise. How large are your stones?
Reader Record: 25-31, 44.6%
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