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Lames: Say What?! Brady to slip into tryptophan-induced coma at Jets

Brad Evans
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Blackout conditions could come a day early for Brady.

Each week the Noise highlights 10 bold names who he believes are destined to torpedo your team leave egg on his face. For those playing the Lames home edition, each player must be started in at least 50 percent of Yahoo! leagues to qualify. As an accountability advocate, results, whether genius or moronic, will post the following week using the scoring system shown here. If you're a member of TEAM HUEVOS, post your Week 12 Lames in the comments section below.

Tom Brady, NE, QB (93-percent started)
Matchup: at NYJ
The two-time MVP is again doing what he always does: Wake up next to his lingerie model wife. Slip on his favorite pair of Uggs. Drive to stadium. Shell defenses. Suffice it to say, it's good being Brady. Currently the sixth-best passer in Fantasyland and on pace to score his third-best season in his illustrious career, he's again delivering rock solid QB1 results. But any given week any 'stud' is capable of posting a dud, which could happen to Mr. Bundchen in Week 12. Over the past three seasons, a span of five games, Brady has grounded the Jets, averaging 296.6 yards per game while throwing for 12 touchdowns, including a 259-2-0 effort back in Week 7. However, this year's Jets brand, similar to years past, has defended the pass very well, even without it's blanket corner Darrelle Revis. Since Week 3 only Brady and Russell Wilson have eclipsed the 20-point threshold against New York. Though minus Rob Gronkowski, New England is overloaded with weapons. Aaron Hernandez and Julian Edelman should fill the void admirably. But, at home, with slim wildcard hopes on the line, Antonio Cromartie and company elevate their game. For one-week only, Tom Terrific gives way to Tom Tepid.

Fearless Forecast: 22-37, 246 passing yards, 1 touchdown, 1 interception, 15.3 fantasy points

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Ray Rice, Bal, RB (98-percent started)
Matchup: at SD
For those in non-PPR leagues there's an argument to be made Rice hasn't delivered on his top-three promise. Three of his past four games have been especially disappointing. During that stretch he's managed just 3.2 yards per carry. Though he's tallied a few monster games, most notably against Cincinnati, New England and Dallas, his 14.5 per game output is a far cry from the 18.6 mark he notched a season ago. No question Rice remains one of the league's most versatile rushers, but with few holes to plow through his numbers have suffered. Another uneventful line could be on the docket in Week 12. Overlooked by most, San Diego might be the most underrated run defense in the entire league. Only the Texans and Bucs have surrendered fewer yards on the ground. On the season, rushers have plodded their way to a mere 3.9 yards per carry against it. Most impressively, Trent Richardson is the only plowshare to reach the 12-point threshold versus the Chargers since Week 5. And it's not like they faced a group of legless high schoolers over that span. Jamaal Charles, Willis McGahee (twice) and Doug Martin, to a certain extent, were all held in check. Rice is indispensable in PPR settings, but another marginal performance could be in the offing for traditional leaguers.

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Fearless Forecast: 18 carries, 61 rushing yards, 4 receptions, 19 receiving yards, 0 touchdowns, 11.0 fantasy points

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Alfred Morris, Wash, RB (76-percent started)
Matchup: at Dal
For much of the season, the Noise has gleefully rode shotgun in 'The Butler's' 1991 Mazda sedan. Through 12 weeks, he stands No. 12 among rushers in per game average, silencing skeptics who were convinced Lucifer Shanahan would never stray from a rotational backfield. Though he's posted a middling 72.7 total yards per game over the past three weeks, his healthy workload and growing role within the pass game are very appealing. Unfortunately, mediocrity will likely reign supreme once again on Turkey Day. Against powerful, downhill rushers, Dallas hasn't executed well this year. Michael Turner, Marshawn Lynch and Trent Richardson all finished with excellent numbers against it. But given Morris' recent under-performance and the national, holiday stage, 'Boys linebacker Anthony Spencer, the third-best run defender among LBs according to Pro Football Focus, should dish out a large helping of stuffing. With matchups against Baltimore, Philly and Cleveland upcoming better days are ahead for Morris. However, this week, expectations should be tempered.

Fearless Forecast: 19 carries, 78 rushing yards, 1 reception, 5 receiving yards, 0 touchdowns, 9.0 fantasy points

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Andre Johnson, Hou, WR (91-percent started)
Matchup: at Det
Recommending a multi-time Pro Bowl receiver still smoking off a team record 273 receiving yards is an exercise equivalent to searching for Twinkies at convenient stores -- futile. For the past several weeks, Johnson has resembled the uncontainable WR1 many expected him to be, especially in PPR leagues. Over his last four he's snared 8.8 passes for 128.0 yards. Touchdowns have been few and far between, but it's clear, the wideout's tweaked practice regimen has done wonders. Still, there are no guarantees in this matchup-based game. Johnson's Turkey Day opponent, Detroit, is no defensive slouch, particularly in downfield coverage. It's conceded 22 pass plays of 20-plus yards, the third-fewest in the NFL. Corner Chris Houston has allowed a lowly 7.8 yards per catch. Meanwhile, opposing signal callers have only tallied a 41.7 rating against safety Ricardo Silva. Overall, WR1s are averaging a mediocre 55.5 yards per game against the Lions. Smoke may be rising off Johnson, but count on Jim Schwartz and company to extinguish the fire.

Fearless Forecast: 5 receptions, 72 receiving yards, 0 touchdowns, 10.9 fantasy points

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DeSean Jackson, Phi, WR (60-percent started)
Matchup: at Car
After hyping Nick Foles last week, the Noise deserves to be stuffed, cooked and drenched in cranberry sauce. I was horribly wrong. Though the rookie still possesses considerable upside, he is light years behind fellow freshmen Andrew Luck, Robert Griffin III and even Russell Wilson. The Eagles' wretched offensive line and the QB's poor accuracy on intermediate throws are extremely problematic. Michael Vick should again seize the starting reigns as early as this week, but he's yet to pass NFL-mandated post-concussion tests. Even if he does, it's unlikely his home run hitter will cross the chalk. For all it's defensive flaws, the one area where Carolina has executed admirably is in pass coverage. Just six wide receivers have eclipsed 10 fantasy points against it. In complete disarray offensively, Philly appears to have phoned it in. With Foles likely back under center and LeSean McCoy likely to be sidelined, points will most certainly be a premium, especially for D-Jax. Seek alternatives.

Fearless Forecast: 4 receptions, 56 receiving yards, 0 touchdowns, 8.6 fantasy points

BONUS WEEK 12 LAMES

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TEAM HUEVOS PICKS OF THE WEEK

Each week one fortunate guest prognosticator will have a chance to silence the Noise. Following the rules stated above, participants are asked to submit their "Lames" (1 QB, 2 RBs, 2 WRs, 1 TE, 1 D/ST) by midnight PT Tuesdays via Twitter @YahooNoise. How large are your stones?

Reader Record: 34-45, 43.0%

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