If you didn't draft Goldschmidt, you can't say it's because Brad failed to hype him (US Presswire-Roto Arcade)

I'll issue a warning right here at the top, so there's no confusion: You will not find any actionable fantasy information in this blog post. None. Zero. Nada. Empty set. Nothing. If you're looking for news and advice, please visit Closing Time. Scott has you covered.

But what you will find here is home run porn, and who doesn't like that?

I'm just killing time on a Saturday morning, waiting for a 14-team dynasty draft to begin. One of my five keepers in this particular league is the dude featured above  — no, not Brad. The other guy: Paul Goldschmidt.

Hanging with Chad (US Presswire)

I didn't watch much of the Dodgers and Padres on Friday night, though I would have liked to. Cory Luebke is a pitcher I want to keep tabs on, and I enjoy games at Petco Park. But for better or for worse, most of my viewing decisions these days are steered by the quality of the broadcast (on the screen and in the booth). With the Houston, Arizona and Anaheim openers coming to me in HD (everything else was in standard def), they made it to the top of my evening hit list. The Zapruder games stayed on the back burner.

So I missed most of the Chad Billingsley Show. But that sure is a pretty box score, isn't it?

Billingsley has been an up-and-down hurler for the Dodgers over the last few years, and he's coming off his worst season (4.21 ERA, 1.42 WHIP, declining strikeout rate, bloated walk rate). He wasn't touched in the 325-selection Friends & Family mixed draft a few weeks ago, and he went for just $3 in the Roto Arcade auction this week (14 teams, 378 players). Billingsley was a trendy commodity during his early seasons in Los Angeles, but no one's hot and bothered for him anymore. Move onto the next buzzy thing.

Alas, Billingsley can still look good if you catch him on the right night, and that was the case Friday. He mowed the Padres down over 108 brilliant pitches (3 H, 0 R, 1 BB, 11 K, 70 strikes), cruising to an easy victory. The Dodgers had six runs on Luebke before the fifth inning was complete and this game was never in doubt.

Is Billingsley back into fantasy relevance? It's too early to have a strong opinion on that. He does have a home start against Pittsburgh next week, that looks appealing.

But let's shift to the stronger takeaway from the evening: it's always a good idea to attack weak offenses and big parks, whenever possible, with your discretionary pitching slots. Why run uphill in the tough divisions (hello, AL East) when you don't have to? The San Diego Padres remain an outstanding target for your streaming pleasure.

Trevor Bauer (AP Images)

On Thursday, while most of us were enjoying the third of MLB's four opening days, a bunch of minor leaguers were producing their first official stats of the 2012 season. The kid pictured above, 21-year-old Trevor Bauer, was among the most impressive.

Bauer threw five scoreless innings for Double-A Mobile, retiring the first 11 batters he faced, holding Mississippi hitless until the fifth frame. He struck out seven batters, walked three, and allowed just two hits.

Bauer is coming off an excellent spring for the Diamondbacks (3.60 ERA, 10.0 IP, 11 H, 9 Ks), and it wouldn't be much of a surprise if he forced his way into Arizona's plans this year, perhaps before the break. Keep him on the watch list. Bauer has a nine-pitch repertoire, which probably makes him as much of a nightmare for catchers as hitters. He was the third overall pick in the 2011 MLB draft, selected just after Seattle LHP Danny Hultzen and just ahead of Baltimore RHP Dylan Bundy. He's also a famously deep thinker about his craft. Details here, via SI. (<-- click that link. Definitely worth a few minutes).

Over 30.2 career minor league innings, Bauer has now racked up 50 Ks while issuing 15 walks, so let's not doubt the quality of his stuff. When he gets the call, it will be an actionable fantasy event.

After the jump, we check the early returns from a few other high-value prospects. Please stick around, gamers.

Byron Mullens (Gety)The season boils down to the next nine days for a large percentage you that are still checking in with the daily Court Reports. Week 23 is Championship Week in default h2h leagues. You'll find a schedule grid, with ease rankings courtesy of Basketball Monster, at the bottom of this post. Something to note right off the bat are teams with five games (BOS, CHA, CLE, MEM) and teams with three games (ATL, CHI, NJN, PHI). Quantity doesn't always trump quality, but an extra game can at the very least be used as a tie-breaker, and a difference of two games is clearly substantial.

Notable, widely-available free agents with five games during the finals: Byron Mullens, Donald Sloan, Alonzo Gee, Reggie Williams, Avery Bradley, Tristan Thompson, Bismack Biyombo, Lester Hudson, Marreese Speights, Greg Stiemsma

And if you need a push over the weekend in the hopes to get to the finals, then the quantity route (two games in two days) can only be addressed by three teams (SAC, PHI, BOS). Washington is the single team that doesn't play on either Saturday or Sunday, so you'll want to reconsider your stock in Wizards if you are desperate for an extra game or two. Saturday's most favorable matchups belong to the Clippers (SAC), Warriors (DEN), Hawks (@CHA), Hornets (MIN), and Nuggets (GSW); Sunday's best matchups go to the Rockets (@SAC), Nets (CLE), and Cavs (@NJN). Some good combinations of two games in two days would be Charles Jenkins or Brandon Rush for Saturday and Donald Sloan or Courtney Lee for Sunday.

One of the Jeff Conine bobbleheads soaked up a few too many rays. (US Presswire)

Finally, real live meaningful baseball. It's about stinkin' time.

Over the first 48-plus hours of the 2012 MLB season, pitching has dominated the headlines. From a string of spectacular opening day performances by workhorses Justin Verlander, Roy Halladay and Justin Masterson to soul-crushing end-game meltdowns in Cleveland (Chris Perez) and Detroit (Jose Valverde), the bump has been a blessing and a curse. Andy Behrens and Brad Evans offered their takes on the action, detailed their bold predictions for the season and attempted to decipher Robin Ventura's confusing bullpen.

Also on this week's riveting show, Justin Phan dropped by during Hour 2 to detail all the latest news and notes from around the Association.

Too busy running to the border for the Verlander dinner of champions? No problem. Listen to the replay below.

LISTEN TO PART I HERE (MLB)

LISTEN TO PART II HERE (NBA)

Robin Ventura (US Presswire)

If the fantasy community is ever going to get any actionable information out of White Sox manager Robin Ventura, we're probably going to need to use the special ops team and the secret prison. I'll make contact with Karabell and Gleeman. We'll initiate the Piniella Protocol. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

No, that's a joke. There is no ops team and no prison (officially). But Ventura is making life somewhat difficult for fantasy owners, as he hasn't yet detailed all of his late-inning plans.

In a Thursday interview with Chris Rongey of WSCR 670 in Chicago, Ventura offered these comments when asked about his team's bullpen hierarchy:

"I've talked to [the players] about what we're looking to do. I just don't feel the need to announce it to everybody, how I'm gonna use my bullpen. ... It's like a lot of other things. I don't feel the need to publicly put it out there, every single thing we do. I don't let everybody know our signs, either."

At one level, this is mildly annoying -- at least to those of us who manage fantasy portfolios. Yet at another level, Ventura's secretive approach deserves our sincere respect. If Robin believes that some small strategic advantage can be gained by not publicly naming a closer, then I suppose he's doing the right thing, even if it inconveniences a few thousand fantasy owners.

Recent context clues point to this man emerging as a key late-inning pitcher for Chicago...

Chris Perez, In or Out? (US Presswire)We're almost through Opening Day 3 in the nonsensical baseball schedule of 2012, so let's take stock of a few things.

The starting pitchers are heroes. The hitters are zeroes. And some of the closers go even lower than that. The chase for saves is a 24-7-365 exercise.

Runs have been difficult to come by in the early going — the scores on the sandlot look like scores from soccer's World Cup — but the bats tend to perk up when a closer toes the rubber. Consider the fireworks Thursday, with Chris Perez blowing up in Cleveland and Jose Valverde losing his way in Detroit.

Perez gets top billing in the first Closing Time of the year because he's more of a closer on the brink. Although Perez was 36-for-40 on save chances last year, no one with a critical eye thought too much of his season. He struck out just 39 men over 59.2 innings — against 26 walks — and he was the beneficiary of a lucky .234 BABIP. With his velocity dipping and his swing-and-miss rate evaporating as well, it was hard to trust Perez into 2012. His FIP checked in at 4.27 last year, his xFIP at 5.01.

An oblique injury knocked Perez down for a few weeks in spring training, kick-starting the Vinnie Pestano fire drill. You probably remember Pestano, last year's set-up star in Cleveland. He fashioned a 2.32 ERA and 1.05 WHIP in 62 innings last year, with 84 punchouts and just 24 walks. And his ground-ball rate (39 percent), while not on the plus side, was at least considerably higher than Perez's (28 percent).

Jared Sullinger (Getty)

In this week's installment of Roto Arcade Live, Justin Phan and Matt Buser will break down some of the season's best rookies, preview the latter stages of the first round for next season's fantasy drafts, and touch on players on the upswing during this "win or go home" portion of the the current season. Our colleague and friend Brad Evans will also stop by to dissect some overrated and underrated NCAA prospects, help us establish who is the best point guard in this year's draft class, and take a deeper look at the "one and done" system. All that and a lot more. We'll be running these each and every Tuesday for the remainder of the season, so join us as we break down the latest developments around the NBA. This week's show kicks off at 7:00 pm PT, 10:00 pm ET.