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A-Rod centaur mystery persists as he issues ‘minotaur’ painting denial

David Brown
Big League Stew

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(BLS Illustration)

If he were alive today, Robert Stack and his "Unsolved Mysteries" television program would get to the bottom of the Alex Rodriguez/centaur story. Does he really have two paintings of himself as a mythological horsie creature hanging above his bed? Other media outlets just can't nail down the truth.

Given a chance to get A-Rod on the record over the weekend at Art Basel in Miami, the New York Daily News, via its Confidenti@l section, blew it:

"No, I do not have a painting of my upper body on a Minotaur," he told Confidenti@l at a toy drive over the weekend. "I don't know where they get that stuff."

(Yeah, us neither.) Well, A-Rod's quote might have brought closure to what Madonna and Kate Hudson did not — except for one thing. As New York Magazine points out, a minotaur and a centaur are two completely different 'taurs. A minotaur is a man's body with a bull's head on top. A centaur is A-Rod's head, or any human's, on a horse's body.

That son of a Big Foot! A-Rod pulled the ol' minotaur/centaur conflation switcheroo!

It's a non-denial denial, dressed up as a straight denial, dressed up as a bull's head with a horse's body. Do we have to send in some kind of half-Walter Cronkite/half-Edward R. Murrow chimera after A-Rod in order to get a straight answer out of him on this? C'mon, media.

It's also a similar tactic to the one Ronald Reagan used when he was president, cupping his hand to his ear and pretending not to understand media questions because of how loud Marine One's blades were spinning. Rap Master Ronnie, you trickster! A-Rod is just as cagy. At least the Daily News also dishes that he does own paintings by Andy Warhol and Jean-Michel Basquiat. They did some trippy stuff, if not centaur-quality weird.

Here's hoping that when surgeons repair Rodriguez's left hip next month, we'll get word from the operating theater if it's a centaur's hip, a minotaur 's hip or Pat Benatar's hip.

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