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When history looks back on the Reid Ryan era as president of the Houston Astros, no doubt it will fondly recall the first public action Nolan Ryan's son took as head honcho:

Ryan had a snow cone vendor fired — he was an employee of Aramark — for bringing the product into a toilet stall at Minute Maid Park during an Astros game earlier this week.

The vendor was caught with his pants down around his ankles — literally — by a good Samaritan who also happened to be using the bathroom at the time. The whistleblower switched on his cell phone to record the shocking moment, and alerted another ballpark employee (who was walking into the men's room) to the vendor's behavior. The fan also demanded to see a supervisor, adding, in an unintentionally hilarious moment:

"That's realtalk."

The amateur investigative reporter — clearly the star of the 59 second clip, even though we only hear his voice — shared the video with NBC Channel 2 in Houston, who released it to the public and investigated further. In the clip, the door on the stall is closed, but looking under you clearly can see a person sitting on the toilet with a tray of snow cones (perhaps three of them had been unsold) on the ground next to him.

It might have been better to return the cones to the pantry first, or even throw them away, if the urge was so urgent. Place them on a sink? The baby changing table? Just not on the ground. But hey, when you gotta go, you gotta go.

And Ryan agreed, so he relieved the person of his snow cones forever:

The ending of Game 1 probably left quite a number of Indiana Pacers fans feeling like they'd been on the business end of a low blow. Well, at least they had a couple of frontcourt stars to share the pain — namely, center Roy Hibbert (thanks to Miami Heat forward Shane Battier):

... and power forward David West (thanks to Heat guard Norris Cole):

Credit Heat coach Erik Spoelstra for recognizing a play that worked early in the game, then circling back to it later. That's some smart coaching, sports fans.

Now, for the moment of truth. Which "midsection" shot was worse — Battier's Tiger Knee on Hibbert or Cole's "Nature Boy" homage on West? Please let us know your thoughts in the comments below, and please avoid giving out any shots to the midsection on your way there. Thanks in advance.

Videos via sky2847 and OUOutreach.

Related coverage on Yahoo! Sports:
• Pacers' Roy Hibbert vows to never sit silently on the bench again
• Heat still have not peaked in the playoffs
• LeBron James seals thrilling

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Daniel Alfredsson of the Ottawa Senators has, for the most part, achieved Beloved Player status in the National Hockey League: a veteran whose work ethic, results and dedication to the only franchise he’s played for makes him exempt from most criticism.

So imagine, if you will, if Alex Ovechkin or Joe Thornton or Henrik Sedin or another captain who carries less respect than Alfredsson uttered the following when asked if it was feasible his team could win three in a row against the Pittsburgh Penguins after Wednesday's 7-3 Game 4 thumping:

"Probably not.”

Oh captain.

My, captain.

When interviewing UFC president Dana White after fights, media usually want to know about title fight opportunities, implications of wins or losses, and where the UFC is headed next. Press conferences rarely present opportunities to get White to talk about who would win in a fight between him and UFC chairman Lorenzo Fertitta or White's music preferences. On "UFC Tonight," Kenny Florian and Chael Sonnen asked White those very questions. They even got him to sing on what White called "the most embarrassing interview ever."

J.J. Arrington (Getty Images)

Since 2003, running back J.J. Arrington had a full football career.

He had a 2,000-yard season for Cal, was drafted in the second round by the Arizona Cardinals, played four seasons with them and had two catches in a Super Bowl, was with Denver and Philadelphia after that but didn't play due to knee issues, and was signed and released by the Las Vegas Locomotives of the UFL in the span of a few months in 2011.

A decade ago, Arrington was known for an incident in which he forged his father's name and falsified the time on his letter of intent to beat the deadline under an Oregon coach's watch according to the LA Times. Even though that was so long ago and Arrington went to Cal anyway, it still looms over the Ducks' program.

The Register-Guard obtained a copy of the NCAA's notice of allegations it sent Oregon in early December, regarding Oregon's recruiting practices and its relationship with Willie Lyles. The notice of allegations confirmed that because of the long-ago Arrington ordeal, which resulted in a two-year probation handed down in 2004, the Ducks are subject penalties under the NCAA's repeat violator rules.

These incidents never seem totally in a school's past, do they?

The Register-Guard said the notice of allegations is almost identical to the summary disposition proposal sent to the NCAA last year, so there wasn't a lot of new ground covered in the latest document. The Ducks met with the NCAA's committee on infractions last month.

Given that, according to the Register-Guard, the notice of allegations points out that "all of the alleged violations ... are considered to be potential major violations of NCAA legislation," this is a nervous time for Oregon. The repeat offender classification won't make the Ducks sleep easier, either.

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You can understand the logic behind Frank Vogel subbing Roy Hibbert out twice in the final 11 seconds of Game 1. He wanted a faster, nimbler group of Indiana Pacers to be able to switch the multiple screens that could (and did) come on late Miami Heat possessions and for his team to be able to "force a challenged jump shot." He knew Heat coach Erik Spoelstra would run actions designed to make the plodding 7-foot-2 Hibbert move, chase a smaller and quicker Heat player around, and increase the likelihood of a coverage breakdown creating open look for a good shooter somewhere.

If Paul George again makes a pivotal misstep and overplays LeBron James off the inbounds pass, the MVP probably gets to the rim anyway. If Hibbert's drawn away by Chris Bosh, he might not be close enough to contest James' go-ahead or game-winning drives anyway. Even if he was, James might still have drawn the foul or finished anyway. There are arguments to be made; you can understand the logic.

And then someone — in this case, Stephen J. Nesbitt of the Indianapolis Star — puts together a side-by-side like this, and all logic goes out the window:

One of these things is not like the other. (Images via the Indianapolis Star)

Getty ImagesBrian Burke was the architect of the USA Hockey team that rode the hot goaltending of Ryan Miller all the way to overtime of the 2010 gold medal match in the Vancouver Olympics.

He was the general manager of the Toronto Maple Leafs then. Now, he’s out of a GM gig; according to Sportsnet 590 in Toronto, that’s the reason he won’t be back in the same capacity for Team USA in Sochi 2014.

As reported on the “Brady and Lang” show by co-host Greg Brady, Burke will not be asked back as the team’s general manager. As Brady tweeted:

“Burke was told, as suspected, USA Hockey wants a current NHL GM. [Nashville GM David] Poile a strong candidate. Burke definitely wanted the job - obviously he made a huge commitment to after his son's tragic passing. Might be a mistake by USA Hockey.”

Burke’s son Brendan died in a car accident on Feb. 5, 2010; the Winter Olympic hockey tournament in Vancouver began on Feb. 13, 2010. Burke worked through his personal tragedy, which served as an inspiration for the American players.

He also made some bold decisions at GM that helped Team USA earn silver: Most notably the addition of Chris Drury to the roster, as the veteran center had become a high-priced punchline for the New York Rangers. Drury was one of the team’s best players in the tournament, and rewrote the legacy of his latter years in the NHL.

The notion that a general manager needs to be currently employed in the NHL to take the reins of Team USA seems a bit odd.

It's the greatest spectacle in racing and we're live-chatting it. Join us at 11:45 AM ET on Sunday for the 97th Indianapolis 500. There may even be a special appearance by one Jay Busbee, who is rumored to be in Indianapolis for the race. We'll see you then!