Minor League Malarkey focuses on the goofy world of minor-league hockey; from the characters to the fights to the promotions to the die-hard fans that half-fill the stands. Know of a quirky upcoming hockey promotion? Drop us a line at puckdaddyblog@yahoo.com.

Who wants a jar of really, really tough water?

In the next-to-last game to be played at The Spectrum -- sorry, Wachovia Spectrum -- the AHL's Philadelphia Phantoms are giving the first 5,000 fans a chance to take home actual ice from the rink before their game against the Norfolk Admirals.

To be exact, fans will be getting the ice scrapings from the Zamboni, but Wachovia Spectrum ice nonetheless. Even if it won't, you know, exactly be considered "ice" anymore.

It's not the same exact ice that the Broadstreet Bullies patrolled in the '70's or that the Philadelphia Flyers' Legion of Doom dominated in the '90 ... but nothing a little white lie couldn't fix, right?

And in case you're unaware as to how ice becomes water, the Phantoms

No. 1 star: Jeff Carter, Philadelphia Flyers

A day after general manager Paul Holmgren said his team needed an adjustment in attitude, the Flyers got goal happy in the first period scoring five en route to an 8-5 victory. The first period outburst caused Toronto head coach Ron Wilson to pull Martin Gerber in favor of Curtis Joseph, who didn't fare much better, letting in two goals on five shots and was put back on the bench for the start of the second period. Among the thirteen goals scored between the two teams, Carter continued his career season by potting his first hat-trick and bringing his goal total to 44 on the season, second to Washington's Alex Ovechkin.

No. 2 star: Niklas Backstrom, Minnesota Wild

Desperately needing two points in order to keep their playoff hopes alive, Backstrom stopped 27 shots and picked up his eighth shutout of the season as the Wild moved two points behind eighth-place St. Louis in the Western Conference standings. Going up against fellow Finn Miikka

It's been a trying season for the Colorado Avalanche. The 2008-09 campaign will be the worst since the team moved from Quebec back in 1995. The franchise will finish below .500 for the first time since Mats Sundin's final season with the Nordiques in 1993-94.

They've also matched a franchise record of eight straight losses, something Colorado hasn't accomplished (if you want to make it sound like a great feat) since the 1991-92 season; and to top it all off, they've lost 15 of their previous 18 games.

The Avs may have reached a new low, but with the never-ending stream of injuries they've had to deal with since October; one wouldn't think they were entering the "Tank for Tavares" sweepstakes, would they?

On Wednesday, Denver Post columnist Adrian Dater blogged that after the Avs' loss to Phoenix, he heard a Coyotes official state, "The tank job is in, isn't it?"

While the likes of the New York Islanders and Atlanta Thrashers have been playing better hockey of late, thereby hurting

Here are your Evening Puck Headlines and Previews: A glorious collection of news and views collected from the greatest blogosphere in sports and the few, the proud, the mainstream hockey media.

-Mike Dell chimes in on the never-ending Wayne Gretzky-Mario Lemieux debate using adjusted goals-per-game averages. [Suite 101]

-She's blonde. She's Russian. She hangs around hockey players. Is Elena Alyonka Larionov the new Anna Kournikova? [Capitals Outsider]

-Philadelphia has signed their 2007 first-round pick James van Riemsdyk to a multi-year, entry level contract. Also signed to an amateur tryout, he'll be assigned to their AHL affiliate. [Flyers]

-McErlain picks the New York Rangers and Columbus as the two teams that should strike fear in the hearts of playoff opponents. [Sporting News]

-John Grigg of The Hockey News ranks the top ten active Russian players in the National Hockey League. On Pavel Datsyuk at No.2, "Some say Datsyuk is one of the most underrated players in the league.

If you're a golf or soccer fan, you're aware of the beauty of a chip shot.

In soccer, it's a slow, deceptive shot or pass used to outsmart an opponent's defense. In golf, it's a shot that helps get you out of the sand trap, deep rough or away from pesky gophers. The chip shot flutters in the air, almost slowing time down, and is always effective.

One would think with the elimination of the two-line pass in hockey, that we would see the chip more often. Atlanta's Eric Perrin attempt in a game last month against Edmonton was successful when he found Marty Reasoner on the other end.

But what about using it as an actual shot? Case and point: Sweden's Linus Omark who, in a warm-up match for the upcoming IIHF World Championships, made Swiss Marco Bührer look silly with a little help from the crossbar.

If only Inter Milan's Zlatan Ibrahimovic could switch sports, we'd see the chip take over hockey.

Omark, who was drafted by the Edmonton Oilers in the fourth-round of the 2007 NHL Draft, is

I don't mind Don Cherry. Really, I don't.

I know his xenophobia, borderline racism, and out-of-touchness with the modern game have rubbed some people the wrong way over the years, but don't we all have one older family member that possesses one of those characteristics? We don't take offense to any unusual comments made by the loved one and pull a Tuukka Rask-esque tirade; we just brush it off and get on with our lives.

That's what so puzzling to me about the reaction to Don Cherry, not just in the recent Alexander Ovechkin-celebration issue, but anything the Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Hockey host says that's controversial.

Maybe I'm not so offended by anything Cherry says because I don't take him very seriously. I enjoy him for what he is: a character, whose sole job is to entertain on the topic of hockey.

For eight minutes every Saturday night during hockey season, he offers a sermon on the state of the game from his pulpit that is the Hockey Night in Canada broadcast. Not only is it fun to

If you were a higher seed in the NCAA hockey tournament, then Friday was not your day. University of Michigan fans must have had flashbacks of the monumental upset that Appalachian State handed to the Wolverines in the opening game of their football season in 2007. Wolverine Nation went from maize and blue to just feeling blue after Air Force, yes, Air Force, a No. 4 seed in the East Regional, shocked No. 1 seed and tournament contender, Michigan 2-0 in the opening game in Bridgeport, Connecticut.

Air Force goaltender Andrew Volkening (whose name has been reminding me of that Tom Cruise bomb "Valkyrie" all night) was the game's MVP, stopping 43 shots en route to victory. His teammates on the offensive end could only muster 13 shots, but that was more than enough. A power-play goal near the end of the first period by Derrick Burnett and then the insurance marker by Jacques Lamoureux almost midway through the second period were enough for Air Force to move on to the East Regional final

Currently sitting fourth in the Eastern Conference, the Philadelphia Flyers have had a relatively quiet, but successful season.

(Have any Flyers been suspended at all this season? Somewhere inside the NHL offices in New York, Gary Bettman is patting himself on the back after his talking-to of the team after last season's suspension party on Broad Street.)

Keep in mind that looking at the standings today, it might seem as if the Flyers are battling for that fourth spot at first glance; but they also have a couple of games in hand over the Pittsburgh Penguins, New York Rangers, and Carolina Hurricanes, the teams chasing them.

With the way that goaltender Martin Biron has been playing of late (6-3 in his last nine starts, despite last night's loss to the Florida Panthers) and a now-finally healthy Daniel (sorry, Danny) Briere back in the lineup, that's enough to have the New Jersey Devils at least be looking over their shoulders a bit, should they slip up in the final nine games of the