Bryce Harper, dazed and confused (USAT)

This column isn't targeted for injury news on a daily basis. We'd prefer to focus on player performance and the subtle changes that make someone ownable and unownable. But when Bryce Harper takes on an outfield wall at Chavez Ravine, that's going to push its way to the top of the fold. Time for a SoCal meetup.

The Nationals were nursing a comfortable 6-0 lead on Monday (thanks, Josh Beckett) when the Harper collision went down in the bottom of the fifth. A.J. Ellis drove a ball deep to right field and for some reason Harper lost his bearings; watch the replay and you'll see Harper completely unprepared for the presence of the wall. Good lord, that's a nasty shot. The Nats took Harper out immediately while fantasy owners held their breath.

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All of the initial check-ins with Harper are coming back favorably. His agent told beat writer Adam Kilgore that 11 stitches were required but Harper doesn't have a concussion. That established, the club figures to do its full diligence with its franchise player and Harper isn't necessarily out of the woods yet. We should know a lot more by the end of the day (lunchtime update, from Kilgore: X-rays came back negative and Harper is day-to-day).

Yoenis Cespedes and B.J. Upton were also part of the late-night outfielder drop; Cespedes had an early exit because of a stomach illness, while a shoulder contusion (thanks, Wade Miley fastball) took Upton off the field prematurely. Both players are day-to-day. Cespedes cranked his seventh homer in the Oakland victory, though he's stuck on 0-for-3 as a base stealer. The less we say about Upton's horrendous season, the better.

Houston infielder Jose Altuve should be fine despite his jaw injury Monday; he was hurt in a collision with right fielder Jimmy Paredes. The Astros offense has been surprisingly not terrible

In the majors, they return your call (USAT)When I first broke into this fantasy baseball racket, trading was a blast. I'd routinely lead all of my leagues in swaps, and I'd enjoy it: the phone calls, the early days of email, the stat referrals to the "blue sheets" (where the numbers were a week old), the seemingly-mandatory trade when parties got together. The Sunday paper still had utility back then. I think the earth was flat, too.

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The Internet age of 2013 has all sorts of advantages, but at some point trading became a major pain in the ass. I'm not really writing this blog post for you, I'm writing it for me. Here are the owners who make me want to throw my phone against the wall.

The Guy Who Thinks Three 4s Equal A Ten

A baseball season isn't official until the first collection offer comes back. No, I'm not gonna move Clayton Kershaw for your Easter basket of Ryan Raburn, Omar Infante and Scott Feldman. But I appreciate your dexterity test. I hit the bull's eye every night.

The Lowball Guy Who Tries To Wear You Down

The idea here is to open with a crummy offer so the residual bad offer doesn't seem so bad. First it's Yuniesky Betancourt for Adrian Beltre, then it eventually filters up to Josh Donaldson. Don't reply logically to these emails, you'll lose two hours a day. Do not engage, Maverick.

The Manifesto Writer

Not content to throw you a benevolent trade offer, he has to write a five-page explanation of how the shakedown helps your team. Sometimes it's a case of trying too hard, and other times it's simply a cocktail of condescension. Bottom line, the longer the pitch, the less likely it's something that helps you. (The lawyers and the Sorkin fans love this move. The volume is a dead giveaway. Keep them in skim mode at all times.)

Colour my world (USAT)

Pink is the color of the day. Pink ribbons, pink bats. Pink panthers, pink crayons. Little pink houses and Randall Pink Floyd, championship quarterback of '76.

Come join us for the fantasy chat only a mother could love. We'll look in on the bases and the pucks, the real sports and the fake ones. No need for a permission slip - Epstein's mother has already signed one for you.

Our pretend friendship renews at 10 pm ET. Make the jump, log in, and join us. Validation awaits.

You can't touch this (MCH)

Generally speaking, this is not a column where we celebrate the amazing feats of the universally-owned player. No one in a competitive league can go out and acquire Shelby Miller or Jon Lester today, and heck, it's the wrong time to ask for them in trade.

But some performances are too good to ignore, and sometimes you gotta break the rules (most of the formative life lessons come from discarded Burger King slogans). With that in mind, let's offer some words about the one-hit wonders.

Miller needed just 113 pitches (mostly fastballs) in his complete-game domination of the Rockies, racking up 13 strikeouts along the way. Eric Young Jr. opened the game with a flare single to right field, then Miller retired the next 27 batters. Check out the tape and you'll see a clinic in fastball location: in and out, up and down. You are special, Shelby.

Miller (1.58 ERA, 0.88 WHIP) now stands as the clear Rookie of the Year favorite in the NL, no great surprise given his pedigree and prospect status. And maybe there's a lesson here about stud pitching prospects who struggle in the minors prior to recall; Miller, after all, posted a 4.74 ERA and 1.38 WHIP at Triple-A Memphis last year. Was he bored in the bush leagues? Fiddling around with secondary stuff? It's all a moot point now; he's pitched his way into the Top 20 on anyone's pitching board. Whatever you paid for him in March was a ridiculous steal; take your victory lap (and share your scouting secrets) in the comments.

Welcome to the majors, kid (USAT)

The Twins weren't expected to be a decent ballclub in 2013. Vegas projected them for 68.5 wins, the basement of the AL Central. Target Field remains a draw and Joe Mauer still has that winning smile, but there wasn't much else going on here, at least on paper.

Oswaldo Arcia wasn't supposed to be in the 2013 mix, either. Although the young outfielder was highly regarded on prospect boards, most considered his ETA to be 2014. Arcia had just 69 games of Double-A experience on his resume prior to the new season.

As we meander towards the Ides of May, Arcia and the Twins have a good thing going. Minnesota just put the wraps on an impressive 3-of-4 showing at Boston, capped by Thursday's 5-3 victory. They're now a game over .500. Arcia played in three of those Fenway games and took his cuts, posting a 7-for-13 line with two doubles, a triple and this Thursday blast into the Red Sox bullpen (does anyone else see a little Brian Giles in that swing?). He's off to a .313/.353/.547 run in The Show over 18 games, heady stuff for someone who just turned 22.

Affordable CarGo makes the leap (USAT)

When it comes to fake baseball, the outfield is where the fun is. The first couple of rounds will always include some of these stat-grabbing giants, and yet the waiver wire in an average mixer consistently offers something for the discerning shopper. Add it all up and there's a lot to digest.

The prices you see in this piece are roughly how I rank the roto-eligible outfielders going forward. What we've seen to this point is merely an audition; if you want a list of the top players to this point, there are plenty of places you can access that.

Don't obsess over the prices in a vacuum: what really matters is how the players relate to one another. Assume a 5x5 scoring format, as always, and players at the same price are considered even. I'll add comments as the evening goes along, and I reserve the right to edit this list in that period. Your intelligent and respectful disagreement is forever welcome in the comments; win the debate, win the rank. (Before you start your audit, remember the golden rule: a player doesn't gain 15-20 percent of bonus value simply because you roster him.)

As for the injured players, they're on this list but at the bottom - those are the courtesy rankings that we've added to the Shuffle Up series this year. I'm not going to debate the prices on hurt guys - if you feel it's all sunshine and lollipops for someone's injury rehab, that's fine. I'm generally more pessimistic when it comes to long-term injuries, but hey, it's a game of opinions.

Make the jump, see what you think.

Closer on the brink (USAT)

All's well that ends well, especially when you're beating a division opponent on the road. But as the Diamondbacks celebrate their 5-3 victory at Los Angeles on Tuesday night, they also have to ponder the state of their closer situation.

J.J. Putz entered the game in the bottom of the ninth, fresh off his recent vote of confidence, but he wasn't around long. He walked Nick Punto on four pitches and shortly after that sullenly walked off the field, dealing with elbow stiffness (per beat writer Jack Magruder, tests are scheduled for Wednesday). Heath Bell relieved Putz and handled the assignment just fine, setting down Juan Uribe, Carl Crawford and Dee Gordon. Give this one to the Union of the Snakes.

Bell was the closer choice here given David Hernandez had already pitched (scoreless eighth, dodging two base runners). Lefty Matt Reynolds, the man mowing down everyone in 2013, didn't work in the game.

Love that dirty water (USAT)

Monday was a fun day to be a sports fan in The Hub. The Bruins took care of business in the YYZ, thumping Toronto, while the Red Sox enjoyed a walk-off win over Minnesota. John Farrell's club has a 21-11 record through the opening five weeks, the best mark in baseball.

A high-octane offense is driving much of the Red Sox story: Boston currently stands fifth in runs, third in OBP, third in slugging, and second in stolen bases. There's solid production all over this lineup. And with that in mind, let's check in with the most under-appreciated part of the group, shortstop Stephen Drew.

Drew was the hero of Monday's victory at Fenway, collecting four hits. His homer in the seventh inning tied the score for the locals, and a wall-scraping double in the bottom of the 11th (thanks, Ryan Doumit) ended the game. Drew also made a couple of snappy plays in the field.

Yahoo! owners haven't been keen on Drew this spring: he's owned in just eight percent of leagues. Gamers surely remember the injury-riddled past with Drew, and that seasonal line of .225/.317/.394 also sticks out at you.

The latter fact is misleading, however. Drew battled concussion issues in March and spring training was essentially a washout for him. He looked completely lost in his first two weeks back with the big club. If you focus on what Drew's done over the last 12 games (yes, a