(Instagram @susanawerner)

With QPR's relegation from the Premier League imminent, there's a good chance goalkeeper Julio Cesar will be wearing a different shirt next season. Yet the Brazilian appears to be getting ahead of himself by wearing a full Chelsea kit to countryman David Luiz's fancy dress-themed 26th birthday party.

Luiz and Cesar could have made things very easy for themselves by dressing up as Sideshow Bob and Buzz Lightyear for the celebration, but their outfits appeared to be inspired by south west London, with the Blues defender dressing as a Chelsea pensioner. The picture above was uploaded to Instagram by Cesar's partner Susana Werner, but now appears to have been removed.

UPDATE: Cesar has now issued a statement via the QPR website, claiming he and his family dressed as Luiz as a "joke" and that he did not wish to cause any offence. He does not use the words "sorry" or "apologize".

A host of Chelsea stars turned up to the party, which also commemorated Mikel John Obi's 26th birthday...

BK Häcken goalkeeper Christoffer Kallqvist was put under pressure by a backpass from one of his own players during Sunday's Swedish Allsvenskan league match with Mjällby AIF.

Rather than hoof the ball away like most shot stoppers in this high-pressure situation, Kallqvist decides to control it and take on approaching striker Marcus Ekenberg. The risky decision paid dividends when the keeper pulled off an outrageous nutmeg (i.e. he put the ball between his opponent's legs) with his left foot, before clearing it to safety. He even earned a smile and a high five from the humiliated striker for his efforts.

One can only imagine that Ekenburg was distracted by the sound of the goalkeeper's huge titanium cojones clanging together as he pulled of this potentially suicidal manoeuvre.

Pelita Bandung Raya earned a 2-1 home victory over Persiwa Wamena in the Indonesian Premier League on Sunday, but the winning goal came courtesy of a pretty controversial penalty.

When brilliantly named Persiwa defender O.K. John put in a two-footed lunge in the box in the 80th minute, referee Wasit Muhaimin immediately pointed to the spot. Persiwa players fiercely protested the decision on the grounds that he won the ball, perhaps forgetting that a two-footed tackle from behind with both feet in the air is a pretty dangerous thing to do. Regardless, Persiwa's number ten Pieter Rumaropen was so angry with the decision that he laid a left hook on the official.

[Also: Nike pulls 'Boston Massacre' shirts from its shelves]

The game was held up for ten minutes as blood poured down the referee's shirt and Rumaropen was given his marching orders.

The incident wasn't quite as disgraceful as, say, biting an opponent, but a sucker punch from behind a referee's back is pretty cowardly and worthy

A product or service simply won't tell in Japan unless it has a completely baffling and slightly terrifying commercial to support it. Like this. With this in mind, telecommunications and internet company SoftBank have acquired the services of Manchester Utd midfielder Shinji Kagawa in their latest run of nonsensical advertisements that seem to have nothing to do with their company.

According to the Daily Mail, the premise of the clip is that Kagawa is confused by the fact that his dad has turned into a talking dolphin beluga whale and his uncle is a goalscoring dog. He isn't the only confused one.

Here's another variation of the commercial in which we learn very little else, except that the dog wears a bowler hat and a bow tie during international travel...

Agustien now prefers to travel by sliding on his stomach (Getty)

So many Premier League footballers have received driving bans in recent weeks that's it's difficult to name one that is actually capable of following the rules of road, but special commendation must be given to Swansea City midfielder Kemy Agustien.

The Dutchman was banned from getting behind the wheel on Wednesday after accruing 39 penalty points. Yes, 39 points. To earn a driving ban in the UK, one needs to be given just 12 points. The BBC reports:

Agustien, 26, was charged with five counts of failing to identify a driver and one of speeding, which were proved in his absence on 10 April.

The Dutch midfielder already had six points on his licence and on Wednesday he was given a further 33 by Neath magistrates for the latest offences.

His points total of 39 is 27 more than the usual banning limit of 12 points.

Agustien, who earns around £10,000 per week, was banned from driving for a year and ordered to pay a £3,135 fine, costs of £510 and a "victim surcharge" of £15 (presumably,

Jozo Gašpar performing his duty as a credit card inspector (jutarnji.hr)

Josip 'Jozo' Gašpar played for Dinamo Zagreb for most of the 1990s, and was most recently the coach of Croatian lower league side NK Prečko Zagreb. The former midfielder, however, was relieved of his managerial duties at the beginning of April due to an incident in which he apparently stole a player's credit card and used it to buy an unfathomable amount of alcohol.

Translated from 24sata.hr:

The Dinamo legend was fired because he is suspected of stealing a credit card from one of his own players from the locker room! Supposedly, he used the card to purchase 36 bottles of Jägermeister.

According to Croatian news site jutarnji.hr, the Jäger spending spree cost nearly 4,000 Croatian Kuna (about $680). Jozo tried to return to the same liquor store to buy even more delicious German digestifs (because 36 bottles weren't enough, obviously) but the transaction was declined as he had exceeded the credit limit of the card. At this point, he was also recognised by the store surveillance camera

Don't you just hate it when you're attending an MTV party in Greece and you're asked to cut up the shirt of your boyfriend's fiercest competitive rival on camera?

Sports Illustrated model Irina Shayk totally knows the feeling, having been ambushed by a reporter wielding a Leo Messi shirt and a pair of scissors, expecting her to defend her partner Cristiano Ronaldo with a bizarre partisan gesture.

Thankfully, the Russian professional-good-looking-person was smart enough to decline the offer, avoiding some awkward headlines and complete alienation in Catalonia and Argentina.

Video H/T: 101GG

Sunday's Tyne-Wear derby hit the headlines for some very disappointing fan behavior, but there was nothing but high spirits and jaunty melodies as Sunderland supporters traveled to the game.

Mackems midfielder Craig Gardner was suspended after picking up his tenth yellow card of the season, but tweeted his intention to cheer the team with the fans a few days before the short trip to Newcastle. The former England U21 kept his word, and even made the journey to St James' Park on the Tyne and Wear Metro system. Just like a normal person!

When Gardner was spotted on the train among the proles, he was naturally asked to lead a chant. He immediately responded with an ode to new manager Paolo Di Canio, who led Sunderland to a surprise 3-0 victory later in the day.

Perhaps he is one of the 99% of Premier League footballers who have driving bans, or maybe he is also suspended from riding the team bus (did he break the "no number twos" rule?) but this will do nothing to harm his reputation with