- Ryan Bailey at Dirty Tackle5 days ago
Yesterday, we didn't know what would happen if some of the biggest names in American soccer were combined with a John Hughes 1980s classic. Now, we have a pretty good idea.
The handsome, erudite and modest folks at KICK TVhave produced Mike Magee's Day Off , an attentive and utterly bonkers tribute to Matthew Broderick's seminal romp Ferris Bueller's Day Off .
In the clip, Chicago Fire striker Magee bunks training to get up to no good in Omar Gonzalez's dad's car with his girlfriend Sydney Leroux.
During the 2013 MLS MVP's day of leisure we also see cameo appearances from the likes of Thierry Henry, Michael Bradley, Hope Solo, Judah Friedlander and everybody's favorite manager who sounds like a stadium, Bruce Arena.
A professional athlete deliberately skipping training is not usually a laughing matter — just ask Adriano — but this high jinx appears to be the exception that proves the rule.
See more, including Gonzalez's excellent impression of Bueller's friend Cameron on the phone, in the outtakes clip...
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- Ryan Bailey at Dirty Tackle7 days ago
Two weeks ago, many football fans could have predicted that Germany would win the World Cup. Magician Dynamo, however, went the extra mile with his tournament prophecies.
A fortnight ago on Sky Sports News , the English illusionist handed a sealed envelope to host Rob Wotton. On Monday morning, he returned to the studio to reveal its mystical contents.
The closely guarded package contained an audio recording, which starts off by correctly predicting that either Neymar, Messi or Ronaldo would leave the tournament with a back injury.
It goes on to predict that a Latin American team would face a European one in the final. When Wotton points out that he could have figured this out on his World Cup wallchart, Dynamo encourages them to listen on to his revelation that the youngest player on the pitch (Mario Goetze) would score the winner in the 113th minute.
He then signs of "Auf Wiedersehen," which suggests he knew the winning team would be Germany.
There are several plausible explanations for the trick (he switched the envelopes; the CD player isn't actually playing the CD from the envelope; he has acquired Biff Tannen's ) but it is certainly well executed.
- Ryan Bailey at Dirty Tackle7 days ago
While the likes of Arsenal reveal their new kits elaborate water projections over the River Thames, they keep things a little simpler in Blackburn.
On Monday, Rovers teased their new light-blue strip with a YouTube clip featuring a fan named Alan "Birdy" Birkbeck.
While Barry White plays in the background, we see Birdy having a shave, putting on a shirt and gathering a rose as he gets ready to leave his house to meet a female fan. It's all very sexy indeed.
However, Birdy decides to abandon his date and stop by the Blackburn club shop instead, where he picks up the new shirt.
Stop it, Birdy! You're getting us all hot!
Well, it seems the Venky's chicken commercial is no longer the strangest Blackburn video online...
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- Ryan Bailey at Dirty Tackle10 days ago
Before he set off for his relaxing four-month break in Catalunya, the Uruguayan met with Dog Whisperer Cesar Milan.
As you can see, there was some mild confrontation.
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- Ryan Bailey at Dirty Tackle11 days ago
Boffins at Cambridge University Press have compiled a multi-billion word database in order to find the terms most associated with each 2014 World Cup football team.
By scouring a broad range of English-language media sources throughout the tournament, the study has produced a list of the top three words used in conjunction with each team in Brazil. Here's the full list, as per the BBC:
While some terms are quite unsurprising (Belgium "dark horse"; Honduras "physical"; Cameroon "hapless"; Spain "humiliation") there are plenty that don't seem to quite fit. The top word for England, for example, is "exciting." That really couldn't be any further from reality. And Portugal's second most popular word is "ego", but that appears to have been accidentally inserted in place of the word "Ronaldo."
The USA's terms are typically patriotic ("determined, heroic, courageous") and Uruguay's are at least 66% dictated by the actions of Luis Suarez ("bite, disgrace, doe-or-die").
David Luiz was handed the captain's armband on Tuesday evening, charged with the responsibility of leading hosts Brazil to the World Cup Final.
Instead of providing resolve as a fearless leader, however, the Paris Saint-Germain star oversaw one of the biggest embarrassments in Brazilian football history as the Selecao were crushed 7-1 by Germany in Belo Horizonte.
The happy-go-lucky 27-year-old has a smile on his face for 99.9% of his waking hours, but was understandably distraught as the whistle blew and he became a part of an unfortunate chapter in Brazilian World Cup history.
Thanks to some comically bad defending, nervous incomplete touches and a complete lack of discipline, Brazil conceded five goals in the first half of its World Cup semifinal with Germany.
The Selecao's performance was so bad that it broke records: never before has a team at the World Cup been allowed to score five goals in such a short period of time:
29 minutes is the earliest in a #WorldCup game that any team has ever scored five goals.
Incredibly, four of Germany's goals were scored in six minutes — that's probably a record while playing FIFA, let alone during an actual World Cup game.
Germany also has equalled a scoring record that was set by Brazil in 1958:
In that semifinal, Brazil beat France 5-2 — the same score it managed against Sweden in the final. In that semi, however, the score was only 2-1 at halftime.
The World Cup may still be in full swing, but many clubs across Europe have started pre-season training. However, it appears that preparations for the 2014/15 season aren't going too well at Blackpool, who have just eight senior players in their squad and no full-time backroom staff.
As their 2013/14 Championship season petered out and they finished just two points above the relegation zone, the Seasiders slowly started losing personnel. In fact, 17 players were released at the end of the season and several other loan players were sent back to their parent clubs.
New manager José Riga was introduced at the beginning of June, but so far he hasn't hired any assistants and has only been able to bring in one player — defender Tony McMahon, who was on loan last season.
With just five weeks to go until the new campaign, Riga was forced to delay pre-season training until this week. When the first session did happen, it had fewer attendees than a Milli Vanilli reunion concert...
Blackpool squad in pre season training 😂 pic.twitter.com/YqheZcBon3
- Ryan Bailey at Dirty Tackle14 days ago
As the World Cup approaches its climax, many of Europe's smaller clubs have been battling in the 2014/15 Europa League qualifying phase. Last Thursday, Montenegro's FK Čelik Nikšić hosted Slovenian PrvaLiga side Koper in the first leg of the first qualifying round.
The home side were beaten 5-0, thanks in part to a goal in which their goalkeeper appeared to jump over the ball, allowing it to roll into the net unimpeded.
This hilariously bad goalkeeping has raised some eyebrows, with one Hungarian website calling it a "scandal" while suggesting Čelik capitulated in a "suspicious manner." Several reports also claimed that the home team "seemed uninterested."
With such superb goalkeeping on display in Brazil, it's good to know that the Europa League is providing some karmic balance.
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- Ryan Bailey at Dirty Tackle16 days ago
The people of Brazil are coming to terms with the back injury that will prevent Neymar from competing in the remainder of the 2014 World Cup, but no one is more upset than little Ana Bella Weiss.
Soon after the Selecao's victory over Colombia, the 21-month-old toddler was filmed by her parents as she reacted to the Barcelona superstar's painful predicament.
"Neymar is broken!" she correctly cries at the beginning of the clip, before her mother explains that he is in hospital and the doctors are taking good care of him. The adorable youngster then repeats "Where is Neymar?" while growing increasingly frantic, despite mom's best efforts to calm her.
The suggestion that there will be another World Cup in 2018 does nothing to stem the water works. Clearly, mom just doesn't get it.