Unusual injury sufferer Adam Chapman (Getty)

From tripping over Labradors to exploding microwave poached egg incidents, many footballers have picked up injuries while navigating the perilous landscapes of their own homes.

A new addition to the strange affliction list has arrived courtesy of Oxford United's Adam Chapman. The 22-year-old midfielder valiantly played through Saturday's game with Wycombe, despite earning a trip to the hospital the day before after burning his nipple. With milk.

Oxford manager Chris Wilder explained the situation to the BBC:

"Adam Chapman, like this good dad he is, was making his baby some milk and he managed to shake the bottle up and down, but he didn't put the lid back on properly.

"He burnt his chest and had to go to hospital for a check up."

Thankfully, Chapman had no need to cry over spilt milk, as the U's stormed to a 3-1 victory over their Buckinghamshire rivals.

On most days, the Dirty Tackle mailbag is stuffed full of complaints that, we simply do not pay enough attention to Paraguayan non-professional junior football leagues. "It's an outrage," says reader Paolo Anderson. "Why are the nurses stealing my medicine?" adds loyal fan Karl Rodriguez.

Well, today this grievous error has been rectified with news of a mass brawl in a game between Teniente Farina and Libertad. In the final minutes of the match, the referee sent a player from each side off, sparking a fight that involved all players and substitutes, and which featured more than one "spirited" flying kick.

The reason you see no match officials intervening or issuing punishment is that they fled the field when the brawl broke out, and dismissed all 36 players from the relative safety of the dressing room.

The club presidents were both quick to lambast the officials for their lack of courage, while conveniently failing to criticize their players for trying to beat seven shades out of

St Johnstone recorded their fifth consecutive league win on Saturday with a 2-1 home win over Kilmarnock. Nigel Hasselbaink scored the winner in the 90th minute, but not before committing one of the worst open goal misses of the season.

While the epic miss gives off-the-scale readings on the Schadenfreude-o-meter, eagle-eyed DTotD fans will have spotted the true highlight this clip: the Kilmarnock players who tackle each other during Hasselbaink's initial through-ball.

On the occasions when a striker is able to put the ball into an open goal, thats the kind of defending that gets you in trouble.

This has been the Dirty Tackle of the Day: a chronicling of unfortunate events.

Franco-Japanese relations took a punch to the gut this week when French TV presenter Laurent Ruquier appeared to mock the victims of the Fukushima nuclear disaster via the medium of goalkeeper photoshopping.

Following Japan's surprise 1-0 victory over France at the Stade de France on Friday, a broadcast on TV station France 2 showed a composite image of goalkeeper Eiji Kawashima with an extra set of arms, blaming the extra limbs — and his excellent performance — on the "Fukushima Effect."

While the audience found the joke delightful, Japanese dignitaries haven't been as impressed. The Guardian reports:

On Tuesday, Japan's chief cabinet secretary Osamu Fujimura called Ruquier's remark, a reference to last year's nuclear crisis in Fukushima, "inappropriate". He added that the Japanese Embassy in France had sent a letter of protest to the TV station France 2. The letter said the remark "hurts the feelings of people affected by the disaster and hinders efforts for reconstruction,"

In a brief respite from competing in the Swedish Damallsvenskan, women's team Kristianstads DFF have produced their very own Baywatch parody, showcasing their best slow-motion running, Blue Steel pouts and sexy walking away from parked cars (see 1.38).

One of the ladies channeling her inner Yasmin Bleeth on one of Scandinavia's many fine beaches is former USWNT U-23 star Becky Edwards, who is now helping the Swedish side in their quest for a Women's Champions League berth.

Why has Kristianstads produced this video? An attempt to go viral? Because they haven't discovered the Thunder in Paradise title sequence yet? As a means of helping DT out on a slow news day? Who knows. We should just be thankful they didn't do 'Call Me Maybe'.

UPDATE: @coreydesharnais has discovered this isn't Kristianstads' first foray into title sequence pastiche...

Anyone for a game of 'spot the glaring racism'? (Who Ate All The Pies)

Last Friday the official Asian Football Confederation website published an article about the United Arab Emirates national team and its quest to qualify for the 2015 AFC Asian Cup. The title of the article was "UAE to take cautious approach," which is a modus operandi the author should have applied to his or her own writing, after referring to the team as "Sand Monkeys."

The distasteful racist nickname ended up in the article as the writer causally gleaned the term from the world's leading source of misinformation for journalists, Wikipedia.

The AFC website has since issued an apology:

The AFC apologises for an editorial mistake in which the UAE National Team was inadvertently referred to by an inaccurate nickname on the AFC's official website www.the-afc.com in the article 'UAE to take cautious approach' dated 12 October 2012.

The error, which was mainly because of referral to a popular web-based encyclopedia by the concerned Editor, was corrected immediately after it was noticed.

While FIFA have tried to make football more interesting by giving us golden goal extra time or by hosting a World Cup in a scorching-hot barren desert, Indonesians have found their own way to spice up the beautiful game: flaming coconuts.

Popular in many Islamic boarding schools across East Java, five players start each match by praying that they will not be burned, and then proceed to kick an on-fire coconut with bare feet. News Track India reports:

These players prepare for these football matches for 21 days, which includes praying and fasting and learning to tame fire.

When they are ready, the tough 60 minutes of football begins played in bare feet with a burning coconut, which has been soaked in kerosene for two days, and up to four blazing coconuts are used in the game.

According to match organiser Ali Akhyar, the game is intended to test spiritual strength and psychological toughness. "We make a fireball to test the guts of the students," he adds.

The best line of the News Track

Probably the most drug-filled Leo Messi portrait you'll see today (elheraldo.co)

The folks at DT don't know enough about hiding drugs to know the logistics of concealing marijuana inside a portrait, but it surely must involve a dash of ingenuity and plenty of cunning. It takes less cunning, however, to make the portrait of an extremely popular South American football star, and then carry it on a public bus through Colombia.

Sport reports on a story first published in Colombian newspaper El Heraldo:

Colombian police have arrested a man carrying 11 kilos [24 pounds] of marijuana hidden in a large framed picture of Leo Messi.

The incident occurred when the authorities stopped a bus journey from the Colombian town of Sabanalarga, and discovered the drug within the Argentinean star's portrait.