- Ryan Bailey at Dirty Tackle1 day ago
Representatives from the 32 competing nations at the 2014 World Cup are arriving at the swanky beachside Costa do Sauipe resort in Bahia in preparation for Friday's World Cup draw.
The showpiece event, which begins at 11am ET (1pm local time) will feature around an hour of pointless singing, dancing and highlights clips before the actual draw process begins. The men who will actually be pulling the balls from FIFA's shiny plastic bowls are previous winners from the eight victorious nations: they include Cafu, Fabio Cannavaro, Mario Kempes, Lothar Matthaus, Zinedine Zidane and Sir Geoff Hurst. They will not, however, be joined by three-time winner and erectile dysfunction spokesmanPele, who has come down with a serious case of the draw yips.
The Daily Mailhas his response to being asked to participate by Brazilian President Dilma Rousseff:
'I preferred to turn down the offer because I wouldn't feel comfortable in picking out balls which are not favourable to Brazil.'
- Ryan Bailey at Dirty Tackle3 days ago
Brighton & Hove Albion's U21 side beat Millwall's youngsters 3-1 on Monday evening, but the highlight was a thoroughly unnecessary piece of showboating from Albion's Glen Rea.
Instead of retuning the ball to Millwall after a break in play in a conventional fashion, he attempted to balance the ball on his head then stylishly backheel it to the exact required position. That is, after all, the kind of move that helps you graduate to the senior team. However, the ball ended up unintentionally smashing Lions midfielder Kris Twardek square in the face from close range.
The more times you watch the clip, the louder you will giggle like a titillated schoolgirl.
This has been the Dirty Tackle of the Day: a chronicling of unfortunate events. Video H/T: 101GG
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- Ryan Bailey at Dirty Tackle3 days ago
Almost exactly a yearafter we saw them furiously competing to win the affection of a small child wondering around a plane unattended, Leo Messi and Kobe Bryant are back with another hilarious feud.
This time, the Barcelona and LA Lakers stars have a "Selfie Shootout," in which they take as many flights as possible in order to snap their own picture in a plethora of exotic and exciting locations — ones that you could experience through the majesty of Turkish Airlines.
Firefighter worked on Glasgow helicopter crash rescue then captained Scottish Cup tie side after one hour’s sleepRyan Bailey at Dirty Tackle5 days ago
On Friday evening, a police helicopter crashed into a busy Glasgow pub when the pilot lost control. At the time of writing, nine deaths and 32 casualties have been reported at the site, with the search of the wreckage still continuing.
Not long after the tragic crash at around 10.25pm, a crew of 150 firefighters were on hand to help, one of whom was Frank McKeown, captain of Scottish League One side Stranraer.
The defender worked all through the night until 8am at the scene of the accident, and after just one hour of sleep, he led his side out in their 1-1 draw at Clyde in the Scottish Cup. McKeown spoke to The Guardian:
"What happened didn't sink in until I had left the job," McKeown said. "It was terrible, but I didn't think about pulling out of the game. I was really tired but I wanted to play. Football is a relief after something like that. I just tried to concentrate on the game to take my mind off things.
- Ryan Bailey at Dirty Tackle8 days ago
Despite spending £110m on new transfers in the summer, Tottenham have scored only nine league goals this season — one less than Sergio Aguero has managed on his own — and they boast the worst shot conversion rate in the league. Also, they're not a lot of fun to watch.
All of this has mounted pressure on manager Andre Villas-Boas, with reports that his job is on the line surfacing a few days after Spurs lay on the field at Eastlands and let Manchester City walk all over them.
Tottenham managed a 2-0 victory north of the Arctic Circle in Tromso on Thursday evening, but one Norwegian fan wasn't able to watch the entire game.
Reidar Stenersen Jr, a 29-year-old hairdresser whose Twitter feed claims he is a Manchester Utd season ticket holder, was ejected from the Alfheim Stadium at the behest of AVB, because he sang abusive sacking-based chants from the stand behind the dugout:
- Ryan Bailey at Dirty Tackle9 days ago
We have now reached the point where Zlatan Ibrahimovic is literally writing his own headlines.
The mighty Swedish striker has been in Zlat-tastic form this season, scoring 17 goals in 18 matches for Paris Saint-Germain. On Wednesday evening, his eighth Champions League goal of the season helped defeat Olympiacos and secure the Ligue 1's side's berth in the Round of 16. It also equalled the goalscoring record for the group stage, an honour he currently shares with Cristiano Ronaldo.
For his Zlincredible efforts in 2013, the supremely confident Swede has earned a place on the Ballon d'Or 23-man shortlist. Ibra, however, is not expected to make the final three nominees list when it is announced in December, as Ronaldo, Leo Messi and Franck Ribery are assumed to be leading the pack.
But Zlatan doesn't need formal recognition as the greatest player in the world to know he is the greatest player in the world. Speaking after the Olympiacos victory, PSG's number ten maintained the arrogance schtick that is now becoming self-parody:
- Ryan Bailey at Dirty Tackle9 days ago
In September 2012, Scunthorpe Utd manager Alan Knill was thrown from his bicycle following a collision with a squirrel. The rodent met its busy-tailed end between his spokes, and the coach was left in need of an ambulance as he went flying over his handlebars, landing on his head, shoulder and neck. "I could be dead," he said at the time, although he escaped with just cuts and bruises.
The following month, after a poor run of form, Knill was relieved of his duties. This weekend, however, he will return to Glanford Park for the first time since his sacking in his new role as manager of Torquay. Thanks to the fact that he helped relegate the Lancashire side last season, there is some concern about how he will be received upon his return.
It seems that some fans have been planning to taunt Knill by dressing as the nut-loving creature that nearly helped him cycle off this mortal coil, but the club have politely requested that fans leave their squirrel outfits at home on Saturday:
- Ryan Bailey at Dirty Tackle10 days ago
Gillingham best Stevenage 3-2 at Priestfield Stadium on Tuesday evening, helping the Medway side pull a little further away from the League One drop zone.
The win may have been even more convincing had captain Adam Barrett not pulled off one of the worst misses ever in the ninth minute.
Tasked with tapping a slow-moving ball into an empty net from a yard out, Barrett showed his defender's finishing instincts, sending the ball high into the bank of seats behind the goal.
After the game, manager Taylor called it the "worst miss ever" with a wry smile on his face. The former England coach probably wouldn't have been so sassy about the howler if his side hadn't managed to battle back from a half-time deficit to take three points.
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DTotD: Liverpool’s Pedro Chirivella suffers two terrible challenges in five seconds during U18 Merseyside derbyRyan Bailey at Dirty Tackle11 days ago
On Tuesday, Everton and Liverpool's U18 sides played a mini Merseyside derby, hoping to emulate the thrilling action of the senior sides' meeting at Goodison Park on Saturday. Much like the Premier League match, there were plenty of goals and some horrendous tackles.
The Toffees won 3-1, but finished the game with ten men thanks to an incident in the 59th minute where Liverpool's Pedro Chirivella endured two nasty challenges in less than five seconds.
Chirivella — a hot prospect who arrived from Valencia's youth system a few months ago — went for a 50/50 challenge with Everton's number 10. The 16-year-old midfield playmaker somehow retained the ball after having his opponent's studs violently scraped up his shin, but seconds later, Everton youth prospect Joe Williams flew in with a terrible attempt at winning the ball. Just like a Snoop Dogg Christmas concert in July, it was very late and very high.
- Ryan Bailey at Dirty Tackle12 days ago
Carlo Ancelotti remains a popular figure at Stamford Bridge, thanks mainly to the Premier League and FA Cup double he delivered during his first season in charge. Most of the players liked him, Roman Abramovich liked him (he was given two full seasons as manager!) and children from the local community would stare at his magical eyebrows for hours, waiting for one of them to leap off of his face and transform into a butterfly.
One player, however, clearly wasn't buying what Ancelotti was selling. According to an interview the current Real Madrid boss gave to The Times this week, he was so frustrated with one of his Blues stars that he actually tried to murder him:
“We've never had any problems with the players, just one time at Chelsea. One player didn't show respect and I tried to kill him but it wasn't possible.
“The player is the property of the club and sometimes you cannot do what you want.”