Yesterday was kind of a bad news, more bad news, then good news type of day for Chris Henry.

Bad news: He spent the whole day in court for jury selection in his upcoming trial to deal with accusations that he punched a college student and threw a bottle at his car.

More bad news: While he was inside, a tow truck was trying to repossess his Range Rover. But then ...

Good news: The owners of the parking lot wouldn't let the tow truck take Henry's wheels! WHOOOOOO! Score one for wide receiver with behavior issues! How ya like them apples, Mr. Repo Man? You can take your tow truck and stuff it. Chris Henry's driving home today, baby! Repo Man, tell me how my [naughty word] tastes!

My apologies. But when you're Chris Henry, you've got to celebrate the little things. I suppose there's even further bad news in the fact that someone's even trying to repossess his car, but why be glass-half-empty about it? Chris Henry is street legal for another day.

Panthers defensive tackle Kris Jenkins once had this to say about Warren Sapp:

“I hate him. Everybody says I’m supposed to be polite when I talk to you all, but I hate him,” Jenkins said. “He talks too much, he doesn’t make sense, he’s fat, he’s sloppy, he acts like he’s the best thing since sliced bread. He’s ugly, he stinks, his mouth stinks, his breath stinks, and basically his soul stinks, too.

Mmmmm ... how about that, ladies?

One lucky twinkle-toed gal out there will get the Warren Sapp experience up close. Hopefully, he's showered and brushed his teeth since Kris Jenkins formed his opinion, as Sapp told the St. Petersburg Times that he'll be accepting an offer to appear on ABC's Dancing with the Stars.

So what now? Any interest in broadcasting?

You just listen. I don't want to go to (ESPN) every week for a two-hour show. I want something short and sweet. I'd love to have a radio gig, just turn on the mic and talk about the topics of the day. I might do that Dancing With the

I could tell you about the four new alter-egos that Clinton Portis has created for himself, but there would be no point. You can't have someone describe genius to you ... you have to witness genius first-hand.

Dr. Do Itch Big seems to be a fan favorite, but there's not one of them that I don't adore. If I have to pick one, Bud Foxx is my guy, but every single one of them made me chuckle, shake my head, and say, "I freakin' love Clinton Portis."

My only concern is that Clinton's running through some great characters now, instead of saving them for the season. Something tells me, though, that the well of absurdity in Clinton Portis's mind isn't in danger of running dry anytime soon.

Kudos to Rich Eisen, too. The only other studio host I can think of who could pull off the straight-man routine so perfectly is Ernie Johnson. That's nice company for Eisen to be in.

A New York Giant retiring and then immediately opining on his former team is almost becoming an off-season tradition. Last year, it was Tiki Barber, who retired and then pretty much called Eli Manning a nancy-boy.

This year, it's Michael Strahan retiring and then saying the Giants are better off cutting ties with Jeremy Shockey. From Newsday.com:

"He doesn't want to play here; that's obvious with everything that's going on," Strahan told Newsday yesterday after being introduced as the newest cast member on "Fox NFL Sunday."

"I don't think you gain much by keeping a guy around. Regardless of how well he plays for you, there's always that tension, and that's one thing you can't have if you're expected to go back and repeat."

Strahan added Shockey might do his job well, but that doesn't mean he would be happy.

"You don't need that out of one of your leaders," the recently retired defensive end said. "So I think the best thing for them and for Shockey is if they have the opportunity, let

If you're going to have the nickname "Hoss," and you're going to take the field as an NFL quarterback ... you damn sure better have the mustache to back it up.

Jeff Hostetler's mustache was vastly underrated. I point to two things:

1) If you can't picture a guy without his mustache, then he's grown a damn fine mustache. I can't picture Hoss without his handsome brand of fanny tickler. I bet if he even tried to shave it off, the mustache would revolt and refuse to be shaved. It would turn to steel, develop a voice box, and say, "Nope. You want me gone, you'll have to take the entire upper lip off."

2) Dave Wannstedt copied his look.

The Wannstache claimed #7 on this list, and many justifiably felt like it was it was wronged to have been slotted so low on the list. But Wanny copied everything from Hostetler. The neatly-feathered hair, the copstache, everything. The whole look.

And at least Hostetler had the good sense to attach a Super Bowl win to such a fine mustache. Wannstedt might

In addition to being a pretty good offensive guard, Chris Snee is also the son-in-law of Tom Coughlin. Snee just signed a pretty hefty contract extension.

Perhaps knowing that people bring might bring up the issue of nepotism (as Michael David Smith at the FanHouse insinuated here), Snee addressed the issue. From NorthJersey.com:

"I'd love to stay here. ... I'm a very happy member of the New York Giants," Snee said during the off-season program. "I don't see why that [family situation] would factor into it.

"It's not like they're doing me a favor. Whatever I get, I've earned. It's got nothing to do with the situation I'm in. I've proven that I can play and play at a high level."

That was the first thing that came into my mind when the issue of nepotism was raised; that NFL teams don't do players favors. It's not that I'm cutting the Giants any slack here, and assuming that they wouldn't do something unjust. It's quite the opposite, in fact.

My assumption is that they're as cut-throat

I say that Chad's lips are moving, because to say that he's talking might imply that there's something meaningful coming out of his mouth, and that's just not the case. He's like a baby babbling, "ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba!" He doesn't have anything to communicate, he's just fascinated by the fact that he's capable of producing sound.

So here's Chad, sitting down with Stephen A. Smith, acknowledging that he wants to be traded, and then later in the same interview, saying that he wants to be a Cincinnati Bengal. He also denies being emotional, which would be easier to believe if he wasn't so, you know, emotional. Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba!

Good news for Javon Walker: Police have made an arrest in the mysterious case of his beating and mugging.

Bad news for Javon Walker: The arrest blows to hell the story he wanted everyone to believe; that the assailants came to his hotel room, knocked him out, and dragged him to a car.

A fellow named Arfat Fadel, who has a long and distinguished rap sheet that included charges in California, New York, Michigan, and Nevada was arrested in Las Vegas yesterday. He's been charged with kidnapping, robbery, battery, and conspiracy.

But Arfat didn't go to Walker's room and tune him up before dragging him to a car. Walker willingly got into Arfat's car. Police say they don't know why.

So clearly, Javon was trying to hide something with his "they came and stole me from my hotel room" story. Best case scenario is that he did something really dumb and got into a car with people who were about to do him harm. Worst case scenario is that he got into a car because he was about to do something he