The NFL fined Packers linebacker Clay Matthews(notes) $5,000 for wearing yellow cleats with his nasty throwback uniform.

Steelers safety Troy Polamalu(notes) got docked twice that amount for borrowing a team doctor's cell phone on the sidelines – to assure his wife he was OK after suffering an apparent head injury.

And the Jousting Jims, Harbaugh and Schwartz? After a contentious postgame handshake and bumping incident involving the 49ers' and Lions' charged-up coaches turned into a full-fledged spectacle at Ford Field two Sundays ago, the NFL took swift and decisive action.

Get this: The league reportedly sent out a memo to all 32 teams, reminding everyone to behave at game's end.

Yep, tough love at its finest.

Failing to fine Harbaugh and Schwartz for their conspicuously contentious conduct was beyond weak. Not only did numerous players express this publicly, but as my colleague Jason Cole reported Tuesday, Browns president Mike Holmgren went so far as to put in a call to the league

OAKLAND, Calif. – Even as the football was leaving his hand, Carson Palmer(notes) felt the sick, surreal sensation that he'd done something he shouldn't have.

As it turned out, amid a crowd of 57,361 fans at the O.co Coliseum, 46 Kansas City Chiefs and 45 new Oakland Raiders teammates, Palmer was the last to know.

Force-fed into the second half of a butt-kicking by the Chiefs on Sunday that few NFL fans saw coming, Palmer wanted to give his new team a jolt befitting that of a talented quarterback who'd been the subject of a blockbuster trade five days earlier.

Instead, as he zipped what he thought was a quick out to rookie wideout Denarius Moore(notes) in the right flat, Palmer saw Chiefs cornerback Brandon Flowers(notes) lurking directly in the ball's path and wondered, Can you read my mind?

The inevitable interception and 58-yard touchdown return Flowers completed 40 seconds into the fourth quarter was a killer, providing the final points in the Chiefs' 28-0 victory and temporarily

If I'd told you back in August that the Houston Texans would be playing for first place in the AFC South in late October, chances are you'd have been impressed, and they'd have been elated. Seeking the first playoff berth in their 10-year history, the Texans – a.k.a. The NFL's Biggest Tease – would savor a division title as much as any team in major professional sports.

And if I'd told you the Texans would be 3-3 after six games, with a pair of road defeats to first-place teams? You'd have rolled your eyes and said, "Some things never change."

Despite their apparently unshakable allegiance to mediocrity, the Texans have a realistic path to salvation. When Houston takes on the 3-2 Tennessee Titans in Nashville on Sunday, it will have an opportunity to seize control of a division that is shaping up as this season's slightly less atrocious version of the 2010 NFC West.

With the Colts (0-6) experiencing the harshness of life without Peyton Manning(notes) and the Jaguars (1-5) reeling

Back in the 1980s, the NFL's faux free agency rules mandated that raiding a veteran from another team's roster would cost a pair of first-round draft picks. Though some of the league's best players theoretically were there for the taking, signings were as rare as rock songs without synthesizer because the price was considered so prohibitive.

As one general manager put it at the time, "I wouldn't trade two No. 1s for God." Such was the blatant overvaluing of first-round draft selections that, if anything, has become even more pronounced in today's NFL.

And yet: On Tuesday, the Raiders traded either a pair of No. 1s (on the condition they make the AFC title game in either of the next two seasons) or a 1 and a 2 for Carson Palmer(notes), a human being who has looked anything but supreme in recent years.

It's a deal so seemingly lopsided that Bengals fans are openly celebrating, some even calling owner Mike Brown a "genius."

[ Related: Mike Brown handles Carson Palmer situation perfectly

FOXBOROUGH, Mass. – When the Dallas Cowboys had a chance to choke out the New England Patriots at Gillette Stadium on Sunday, coach Jason Garrett didn't want any part of Tony Romo's(notes) right arm.

Instead, Garrett chose a cautious approach that effectively put the Cowboys' fate in Tom Brady's(notes) hands. And as the future Hall of Fame quarterback prepared to launch a game-winning touchdown drive in the final minutes that would give New England a 20-16 victory, Dallas owner Jerry Jones was understandably up in arms.

"They're gonna get at least a field goal," Jones grumbled in his luxury suite after the Cowboys, clinging to a three-point lead with less than three minutes remaining, punted the ball back to the Pats following three consecutive running plays. "We'll be lucky to get to overtime."

Ten plays, 80 yards and a little more than two minutes later, Jones' suspicions had been confirmed. Brady's eight-yard strike to tight end Aaron Hernandez(notes) in the back of the end zone

SAN FRANCISCO – He kicked off the new year as the hottest football coach on turf, hijacking the hearts of college and pro football fans from coast to coast as he pondered his many lucrative options.

During the first week of January, Jim Harbaugh had high-powered alums juggling portfolios and NFL owners digging even deeper into their pockets – including one, the Dolphins' Stephen Ross, who got on a plane from Miami to make an in-person pitch, even though no head-coaching opening existed.

[ Related: Reggie Bush among attractive trade-deadline options ]

Finally, Harbaugh made his decision, leaving Stanford for a job about 20 minutes down the freeway. He signed a five-year, $25-million contract to coach the San Francisco 49ers, then immediately was saddled with a lockout-generated anvil, making an instant turnaround of a 6-10 team even more implausible.

Now here he is, five games into his first season, hotter than ever. Harbaugh's 49ers are 4-1 heading into Sunday's who knew? marquee

The most exciting thing about the Lions' 24-13 victory over the Bears on Monday Night Football wasn't Jahvid Best's(notes) 88-yard touchdown burst or Matthew Stafford's(notes) 73-yard scoring pass to Calvin Johnson(notes). It wasn't that Barry Sanders took the field before the game as the home team's honorary captain or that Kid Rock roamed the locker room after the game as Motown's celebrity mascot.

The real excitement came from watching the 67,861 fans at Ford Field release years of pent-up energy as the Lions improved to 5-0 for the first time since 1956. Their raucous roar was a mixture of cautious chest-thumping, giddy disbelief, bubbling bravado – and a whole lot of genuine appreciation.

Yes, Detroit, you finally have a football team. Now sit back as my colleagues and I crank up the hype machine and enjoy the ride for all it's worth.

Not that we don't have plenty of help from the men in Honolulu blue. As Lions receiver Nate Burleson(notes) told the Detroit News after Monday's

SAN FRANCISCO – Jed York sat in a modest conference room inside the owner's suite at Candlestick Park on Sunday afternoon, a strain of sadness in his voice and a silver-and-black tie hanging from his neck.

In another hour the 49ers' president and CEO would watch the team his family owns steamroll the Tampa Bay Buccaneers 48-3 at one of the NFL's most dilapidated stadiums. At that moment, however, York's thoughts were with the rival franchise across the Bay.

"Al Davis helped broker the deal for my grandfather [Ed DeBartolo Sr.] to buy the 49ers, and he was very good to our family," York said of the Oakland Raiders' iconic owner, who died Saturday at the age of 82. "This is a very sad day for sports, and it's a sad day for the 49ers, too."

[Related: Slideshow: Raiders and fans pay tribute to Al Davis]

Yet for all the emotion associated with the loss of one of football's legendary figures, and the sentiment triggered by the Raiders' stirring 25-20 victory over the Texans in Houston on