Most of the time, when teams try to tell you season tickets, they go out of their way to convince you of the superiority of their team. Our players skate faster! Our players check harder! They're strong and talented and good!

Not so for the USHL's Fargo Force, who instead went with the Sarah McLachlan approach: move you. Bring you to tears. Show you the kind of human misery that no human being could see and ignore. Please, friend, won't you support the Fargo Force? They need an angel.

"For just $269 a year, only 73 cents per day, you can become a season-ticket holder and help rescue these players from the grips of low morale."

This isn't the first time we've seen somebody ape Sarah McLachlan's SPCA ads for some quality hockey comedy. You'll recall the "Sponsor an NHL player" video that popped up during the lockout.

But this one is better, because the players are part of the gag. I can't get enough of the slow-motion shots of Fargo Force players staring up at the camera, all sullen and

Here are your Puck Headlines: a glorious collection of news and views collected from the greatest blogosphere in sports and the few, the proud, the mainstream hockey media.

• In the wake of the Ottawa Senators' much-criticized letter to their fans, Sean McIndoe looks at other letters that NHL teams have recently sent out to their supporters. [Down Goes Brown]

• Not unexpected, but the NHL appears to be gearing up to announce that next year's Winter Classic will take place in Detroit and feature Detroit and Toronto, just like last year's was supposed to. [Toronto Star]

• Rick Nash's mystery injury will keep him on the shelf a little awhile longer. He didn't travel with the Rangers to Ottawa. [Blueshirt Banter]

• Revisiting the Erik Johnson trade, which now looks like a decisive win for the St. Louis Blues. [STL Today]

• This spring will mark the 20th anniversary of the last time a Canadian team won the Stanley Cup. Is that a big deal? (No. No it isn't.) [NHL]

• Enjoy this brief exchange between Charlie Sheen and Ryan Miller's "dooshy teammate" Christian Ehrhoff. [Buffalo News]

• Speaking of the Sabres, Andy Boron explains why Nathan Gerbe's "heart" isn't enough for the Sabres right now, by way of the greatest analogy of all-time. [Die by the Blade]

• Not unexpected, but Jannik Hansen faces a hearing for his hit on Marian Hossa. [NHL]

• Darren Dreger on the San Jose Sharks: “Depending on who you talk to, there are teams that say some big names are potentially in play. Certainly the Sharks are willing to consider just about anything. San Jose is willing to part with a defenseman – Dan Boyle's name, believe it or not, has been thrown out there – but they would need to get a forward in return and preferably someone who could fit in their top nine.” [CSN Bay Area]

Expect less smiling after puck drop.

Through 15 games, the Chicago Blackhawks have been just shy of perfect. The Hawks are 12-0-3 heading into Tuesday night, one game shy of the NHL record for most games without a regulation loss to open a season.

Jonathan Toews would have you believe the win streak doesn't really matter. "What's important to us is getting home-ice advantage, making the playoffs," he said in advance of the game. "Those are our goals. Once you get there, the real season starts. When you get to that point, no one really cares or remembers those streaks at the start of the season."

Sure. But something tells me Chicago will care and remember if the team that ends this streak is the Vancouver Canucks, a team for whom they don't much care. In a delightful coincidence, it's Chicago's biggest rival standing between them and a share of NHL history.

[Y! Sports Radio: Nick Cotsonika assesses the first month of the NHL season]

Justin Williams loves Ray Emery.

No. 1 Star: Pascal Dupuis, Pittsburgh Penguins

Dupuis had a 3-point night -- 2 goals and an assist -- in the Penguins' 4-3 win over the Buffalo Sabres. They were big goals, too. Dupuis scored the game's first at 0:35 of the opening frame, then scored the game-tying goal on a beautiful one-timer at 7:06 of the third.

No. 2 Star: Jonathan Toews, Chicago Blackhawks

There were a lot of great centres in this game, but none better than Jonathan Toews, who led the Blackhawks to a 3-2 win over the Los Angeles Kings, pushing their run of games without a regulation loss to a staggering 15. Toews scored a powerplay goal, set up Patrick Sharp for the game-winner in the second period, and won 13 of 19 faceoffs, including 7 of 8 in the offensive zone. Brent Seabrook and Duncan Keith had two-point nights from the back end.

Alexsander Barkov is a 17-year-old that currently plays for Tappara of the Finnish Elite League, the same team that Jannik Hansen played for during the NHL lockout.

Barkov is eligible for the NHL draft this coming summer, and someone is going to take him, and probably pretty early, because he's very, very good. As evidence, I submit this absolutely nasty shootout goal Barkov scored Saturday versus the Lahti Pelicans.

That is all kinds of cheeky. Talk about poise, especially for a 17-year-old. At that age, I'd have thrown up in the neutral zone and then escaped to the locker room to have a cry. (I might also do that now. Hockey is stressful.)

You have to feel for the goaltender. The moment Barkov shows backhand, you can practically see him tense up. A backhander can go anywhere. No surprise then that Barkov's fake backhand, which looks labelled for the top right corner, freezes him completely.

When Barkov pulls it back, evading a desperate poke check and drifting to the far side of the goal, this thing is over. He casually roofs the puck for the goal.

One final note: If, perhaps, you're more intrigued by the insane amount of ads on Tappara's jerseys than the goal, here's an interactive photo breaking down what each one of them is for.

s/t to Reddit Hockey.

Follow Harrison Mooney on Twitter at @HarrisonMooney

The Montreal Canadiens have announced that winger Brendan Gallagher, the fifth-leading scorer among rookies, is out with a concussion after suffering a hit at the hands of Philadelphia Flyers' defenceman Luke Schenn:

The hit occurred just under four minutes into the third period of the Flyers' 4-1 loss to the Canadiens Saturday. With Gallagher up against the boards, Schenn hit the forward from behind, appearing to drive his elbow into the back of his head:

Gallagher, who had a goal and an assist earlier in the game and was named the first star, would take two more shifts before leaving the game.

There was no penalty on the play.

But will the discipline come later? It's a textbook hit from behind, and while it wasn't overly visible to officials in real-time, the replay does appear to catch Schenn driving through the back of Gallagher's head with forearm/elbow area.

If you watch carefully, you'll see that Gallagher avoids having his head hit the glass on the first contact, but as Schenn follows through with the elbow, Gallagher goes face-first into the glass. That seems like the sort of thing Brendan Shanahan might find objectionable. Might Schenn sit for this, or will the DOPS see as little wrong with it as the on-ice officiating crew?

If Schenn does get a short ban, it's worth noting that he and Brayden will become the first set of brothers to be suspended within a month of one another during the Shanahan era. History!

Follow Harrison Mooney on Twitter at @HarrisonMooney

When the San Jose Sharks and the Chicago Blackhawks met for the first time this season, both clubs were riding high. San Jose was 7-1-1. Chicago was 7-0-2.

The Blackhawks would eventually earn the victory thanks to Patrick Kane, who scored the game-winner partway through the second, then iced the contest with an empty-netter. But until the final buzzer, victory was never assured. It was a clash of the Western Conference's top two teams and it looked like a clash of the top two teams, especially in a dizzying first period that saw both sides score three times apiece.

Flash forward. The Sharks and Blackhawks met for the second time this year 10 days later, on Friday night. By then, things had changed completely.

Rather than hitting the ice fresh off a seven-game win streak, the Sharks came into Chicago desperate to end a six-game losing streak, punctuated by an embarrassing 6-2 loss to Columbus. They were unsuccessful, and it wasn't particularly close. The game was anything but a reprise of the battle of elites we had seen on February 5. Instead, it was another embarrassing loss.

The Sharks were nails two weeks ago. This time around, they got hammered, and just like that, they had managed to follow up their seven-game win streak with a seven-game losing streak.

The frustration and bewilderment in that locker room was evident after the game. Todd McLellan didn't seem to have any idea what sort of team he had anymore. From CSN Bay Area:

“It’s amazing what’s happened in 15 days,” said Todd McLellan, referring to the Sharks’ last victory on Jan. 31. “It doesn’t even look like the same team. Not even remotely close. Are we going to rely on what we saw early in the year and the performances that we were receiving, or are we going to take the [last] seven games and evaluate on that? I guess we have to make those decisions.”

It's a good question. After 14 games, who are the San Jose Sharks?

Three of the NHL's most notable goalless players are finally on the board, as Shea Weber, Ryan Nugent-Hopkins, and Drew Stafford all scored their first of the season this weekend.

All three were featured a little over a week ago on our list of the 10 most surprising players yet to score through the season's 10-game mark, and they joined Phil Kessel, Alex Steen, Dion Phaneuf, and Niklas Kronwall as players that have lit the lamp since making an appearance on that ignominious countdown. In fact, those 7 players have combined for 12 goals since then. (You're welcome, fans of those teams.)

Only three remain goalless: Ryan Suter, Drew Doughty, and Ryane Clowe, who have 22, 25, and 32 shots on goal, respectively.

With 32 shots, Clowe is actually the leading candidate to win this year's Gilles Marotte Trophy, an accolade I recently made up to honour the player that takes the most shots in a season without scoring. That's my spiffy, photoshopped award you're looking at.

You might be unfamiliar with Marotte, a defenceman that played 808 games for five NHL clubs between 1965 and 1977. His biggest claim to fame is probably being one of three players traded to Chicago when Boston acquired Phil Esposito in 1967, but that's not the only noteworthy thing Marotte did in 1967-68.

That season, he also set a little-known NHL record for most shots on goal without scoring, hitting the net 153 times in 73 games without seeing one go in. That's over 2 shots a game, and that's absurd.

Now, don't feel too bad for Marotte. His luck finally changed that year in the playoffs, where he suddenly went off, scoring 3 times in 11 games. Plus he just got this nifty award named in his honour!

Clowe probably won't win it. Not when you consider who he plays with, and not considering how often he shoots the puck. Put the on goal 100 times -- and Clowe is on pace to do just that, even in 48 games -- and one is bound to go in goal. In the last 10 seasons, only two players have reached 100 shots without scoring.

There's really no way of knowing who's going to take home this year's Gilles Marotte Award until the season is over, especially since it's based on luck (or at least the complete absence of it). But, as mentioned, we do know who would have won the last 10. So, to instil the Gilles Marotte with an immediate sense of history, let's go back and retroactively give them their awards.