Here are your Puck Headlines: a glorious collection of news and views collected from the greatest blogosphere in sports and the few, the proud, the mainstream hockey media.

• Nope, still can’t compute. [Worley]

• Damien Cox gets the first sit down with Brian Burke after the Toronto Maple Leafs fired him, as he learns that Burke pulled his kids out of school the day he was canned; saw “Jack Reacher” the afternoon after his firing; and had a car window smashed after his dismissal. [Toronto Star]

• What are NHL teams offering their fans as a “we’re sorry” for the lockout? [Days of Y’Orr]

• Scott Niedermayer rejoins the Anaheim Ducks as the Obi-Wan to Cam Fowler. [Ducks Blog]

• The fate of the University of Alabama in Huntsville hockey team could be decided in a vote by the Western Collegiate Hockey Association during the annual NCAA Convention. [AL]

• Doc Emrick calling a 12-year-old girls hockey game is pretty awesome. [NBC]

• F.J. Corrigan is a Washington Capitals fan who blogs at The Peerless Prognosticator. It’s been hard to find any NHL fan that’s decided that the lockout killed their dedication to the League. But The Peerless is done with being a season ticket holder: “When the NHL locked out its players, it locked out its fans, too. The difference between one and the other is that the players will be back. And even though I suppose most fans will be back, I won’t be, not as a season ticket holder. One might argue that I’m turning my back on the NHL, but the fact is the league turned its back on me and thousands of other fans when it decided to go down this road one more time. I’m sick, I’m tired, and I’m done.” [Peerless]

• TSN’s power rankings are out. You know the Blue Jackets are No. 30. So who is No. 29? Hint: They’re moving to Brooklyn. [TSN]

It's a (gettin' down on) Friday edition of Marek vs. Wyshynski beginning at 2 p.m. ET/11 a.m. PT, and we're talking about the following and more:

Special Guest Star: Adrian Dater on Ryan O'Reilly and the end of the lockout.

• GAME SHOW FRIDAY!

• The mysteries of the schedule.

• Why systems are overrated.

Question of the Day: What will you miss most about Brian Burke?

Tweet your answers with the hashtag #MvsW to @jeffmarek.

Click here for the Sportsnet live stream or click the play button above! Click here to download podcasts from the show each day. Subscribe to the podcast via iTunes or Feedburner.

GettyFrom the Department of Suddenly Feeling Really, Really Old …

Sami Kapanen played 12 seasons in the NHL with the Hartford Whalers, Carolina Hurricanes and Philadelphia Flyers, endearing himself to fans with his versatility and hustle.

Now 39, he spent the last four years playing for KalPa Kuopio in SM-liiga over in Finland.

On Saturday, Kapanen will make history, following in the proud familial tradition of Gordie, Mark and Marty Howe: Playing on the same professional team as his son for the first time.

Yes, Sami Kapanen is playing professionally with his son. [Expletive] you, non-stop passage of time.

Getty ImagesAs you know, Evander Kane is a star forward for the Winnipeg Jets. Sometimes the media uses words like “brash” and “flashy” and “immature” to describe him. He’s also very well spoken.

When we last saw the Winnipeg media slamming Kane’s behavior, it was over a joke photo in which he attempted to call Floyd Mayweather with a stack of money from a Las Vegas balcony, which as you know seriously affects his play on the ice.

But that investigation has the importance of the Warren Commission in comparison to the latest flap for Kane, in which he was called out by the Winnipeg Sun for not reporting to Jets camp … three days before Jets camp is scheduled to begin.

From the Sun:

Where’s Evander? It’s a question on the tip of a few tongues around Winnipeg this week. All but four members of the Jets have returned to Winnipeg to skate informally with their teammates, but Evander Kane isn’t one of them.

Considering he’s only a three-hour flight away in Vancouver, some are wondering why he still

Getty ImagesGetting Ilya Kovalchuk into your locker room isn’t always easy. Sometimes the contract he’s signed gets spiked by the National Hockey League; and sometimes he’s committed to playing in an all-star game on the other side of the planet during the start of training camp.

Kovalchuk and Pavel Datsyuk will appear in the Kontinental Hockey League All-Star Game this weekend, and then head back to the New Jersey Devils and Detroit Red Wings respectively for the start of a truncated camp before the 48-game NHL season. Datsyuk’s plans were always a given; Kovalchuk’s were a bit more mysterious given the rumors that he intended to stay in Russia this season.

Via Igor Eronko of Sports.ru:

GM Alexei Kasatonov says the statement regarding Ilya Kovalchuk's future will be released on Saturday at KHL All-Star game

Via Puck Daddy’s Dmitry Chesnokov:

According to SKA coach, yesterday's game was most likely the last in the KHL for Kovalchuk, meaning he will leave for NJ as early as Monday.

So the strange ordeal is over for the Devils, who sat by and watched their star investment flirt with insubordination. Will it cost Kovalchuk with the fans? That remains to be seen, although any animosity could quickly fade with a stellar offensive season to help pick up Zach Parise’s slack.

Will it cost Kovalchuk with his teammates?

The Los Angeles Kings will host the Chicago Blackhawks on Jan. 19, finally raising the first Stanley Cup banner in franchise history on a Saturday afternoon at Staples Center – where they won the title on June 11, 2012.

The Kings will also receive their championship rings on opening day. And here’s what they’ll look like:

The image showed up on Instagram on Thursday night, as the Kings held a preseason press conference with front office personnel and coach Darryl Sutter. It matches a concept published on the Let’s Go Kings boards last August.

Fans will get a replica banner on opening day, and Puck Podcast writes that fans will get a replica ring later in the season.

Check out some of the other recent Stanley Cup rings on this Puck Daddy post.

s/t Trevor Rabone

Here are your Puck Headlines: a glorious collection of news and views collected from the greatest blogosphere in sports and the few, the proud, the mainstream hockey media.

Getty Images

• Gary Bettman: Haunting your dreams forever now.

• The Pittsburgh Penguins are bribing, er, offering their fans free food and deep discounts to make nice after the lockout. [Penguins]

• The Phoenix Coyotes vow to offer “special value” games to their fans. What, are they going to pay them? [Phoenix Business Journal]

• Which NHL teams will start fast in a 48-game season? Hows about the Los Angeles Kings? “The Kings' championship run last year was a surprise, but they are a favorite this season. This is practically the same team that overwhelmed its opponents with physicality and speed, becoming the first eighth seed to win the Stanley Cup. Health, at least at the outset, is a concern, though. Goalie Jonathan Quick had back surgery, and center Anze Kopitar recently injured his knee playing in Sweden. If the Kings jell like they did last spring, watch out.” [USA Today]

• Larry Brooks is still swinging away at Gary Bettman. His latest has Shane Doan as the reason why the NHL moved on the salary cap number for next season. ALL HAIL SHANE DOAN! [NY Post]

• Patrick Kane on “coach” Jonathan Toews at practice: “He talks a little too much. We’re trying to shut him up.” [CSN Chicago]

• Tyler Seguin denies the “trashed Swiss apartment” story, blissfully unaware of how hilarious it was. [CSNNE]

• Brash, controversial Russian Nail Yakupov takes a brash number with the Edmonton Oilers. [National Post]

• Why an Ilya Bryzgalov for Rick DiPietro trade would be the best thing of all time ever. [NHL Numbers]

• Mark Spector is wondering if this CBA is all it’s cracked up to be: “Can the Blues and Sharks raise ticket prices at the same rate to keep up with salary inflation? As the salary cap rises, does payroll disparity not become an issue for owners whose GMs have budgets, while a third of the league presses up against the cap limit?  How does ownership in Colorado, Dallas and Anaheim -- big league markets where fans want nothing less than a club that competes on all fronts -- both make a profit and spend to the cap?” [Sportsnet]

Getty ImagesNew Jersey Devils star Ilya Kovalchuk will play in the KHL All-Star Game this weekend along with Pavel Datsyuk of the Detroit Red Wings. Datsyuk will then fly back to rejoin his Wings teammates. Kovalchuk is expected to join the Devils as well … even if he doesn't really want to, apparently.

Rumors have been swirling that Kovalchuk wouldn’t come back to the NHL this season, as the Russian star was bitter about the lockout and distrustful of the new Collective Bargaining Agreement.

Tom Gulitti of Fire & Ice has some new comments from Kovalchuk regarding his time with the KHL and whether he’ll be back with the Devils:

“I want to stay in St. Petersburg but I have contractual obligations in the NHL, which will be hard to break,” Kovalchuk told Sport-Express in Russia, according to the sports daily’s U.S. correspondent, Slava Malamud.

Malamud later clarified that Kovalchuk was speaking about remaining with SKA St. Petersburg for the remainder of this season and then returning to the Devils in the fall. “Right now, I can’t imagine how (my staying in the KHL) can be arranged… But I don’t know anything yet,” Kovalchuk said.

So there you go. Ilya Kovalchuk would like to stay away from the NHL for this season, but expects he’d come back for the 82-game 2013-14 season. Which means he’s … pretty much in line with a lot of NHL fans, come to think of it.