Greg Wyshynski at Puck Daddy 23 mins ago
“Talked to my mom and my wife this week: They seem to be in the minority. They don’t think I’m the worst person in the sports world ... Amazing how many fans were offended by my column on the Kessel trade and how many hockey people — coaches, GMs, scouts, media — thought it was dead on.” – Steve Simmons, July 5, Toronto Sun.
If you want to see a textbook example of “oblivious,” read the passage above and then read Simmons’ all-timer on the Phil Kessel trade, which will go down as one of the most pedantic screeds ever written about a player leaving town, one where you can actually hear Simmons’ fingernails clawing at a narrative that had long slipped out of the media’s grasp.
But we should applaud him for holding back from calling Kessel a “cancer” given his medical history, instead opting for the all-too-obvious “infection.”
He couldn’t hold back from turning his column’s lede into a protracted fat joke about Kessel, of course:
Which, it turns out, was pretty easy to do.
Greg Wyshynski at Puck Daddy 2 hrs ago
Not too long ago, the faithful in Kansas City would get downright indignant if you didn’t include their fair city when discussing expansion and relocation options in the NHL.
And why not? The geography worked for a Western Conference team, with immediate rivals. The Sprint Center was, at the time, a state-of-the-art facility managed by NHL darlings AEG. Plus, exhibition games in KC received high marks from those involved.
Hence, Kansas City was used as a viable relocation bargaining chip by Mario Lemieux and the Pittsburgh Penguins and Charles Wang and the New York Islanders during negotiations with their municipalities.
Lamar Hunt Jr., who owns the ECHL’s Missouri Mavericks, a minor-league hockey team that plays in Independence, called the NHL’s $500 million price tag for an expansion franchise “a ridiculously big fee,” and said that he is not aware of anyone in Kansas City who will make a push for a team.
“You could say that,” he said. “That’s certainly the truth.”
Greg Wyshynski at Puck Daddy 4 hrs ago
The annual ESPN Body Issue is out, which means another collection of naked athletes that can make us all curse our metabolism and lethargy while marveling at their muscle tone.
As we mentioned earlier, Tyler Seguin of the Dallas Stars is our hockey representative in this year’s issue, and it’s a little change of pace. Instead of the Adonis poses of Ryan Kesler and Zdeno Chara, ESPN captures the whimsy of being a 23-year-old multi-millionaire hockey player, posing Seguin naked on a machine that is not a Zamboni but an "ice resurfacing machine."
As well as giving him the ultimate goofball sports star pose: Having him hold something in front of his penis. (See also: Gronkowski, Robert.)
This is honestly the most oddly arousing episode of SESAME STREET we’ve ever seen…
It's a (gettin' down on Fridays) edition of Marek vs. Wyshynski beginning at 2 p.m. ET/11 a.m. PT, and we're talking about the following and more:
Special Guest Star: Rob Rossi of the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review.
• NHL Free Agency!
• Hockey News and Views
Question of the Day: Who impressed you the most in the free agent frenzy!? Email email@example.com or hit us on Twitter with the hashtag #MvsW to @wyshynski or @jeffmarek. Click here for the Sportsnet live stream or click the play button above!
According to Igor Eronko of Sports-Express, Los Angeles Kings defenseman Slava Voynov will begin his jail sentence on Monday, July 6.
Voynov pled no-contest on Thursday to a misdemeanor count of corporal injury to a spouse, and his jail time will be up to 90 days along with 52 weeks of domestic violence counseling and eight hours of community service (that better damn well be at a women’s shelter).
Voynov’s NHL agent, Rolland Hedges, said in statement: “Mr. Voynov accepts responsibility for his actions the night of the incident and will complete his sentence as required by the court. Mr. Voynov and his wife believe that ending domestic violence both inside and outside of professional sports must be a high priority.”
Another priority, according to Helene Elliott of the Los Angeles Times?
Ending Slava Voynov’s time with the Kings.
The Kings can terminate his contract, trade him, or keep him with the team. Here's a vote for one of the first two options.
If he can play again, of course. As Elliott writes:
MORE FROM YAHOO HOCKEY
It’s something that brings us great sadness when we think about: a diminutive New York Ranger, deciding to walk away from something we all celebrate.
No, not Martin St. Louis retiring; Mats Zuccarello refusing to embrace his legacy of being the Norwegian Hobbit Wizard, which was his Elijah Wood-inspired nickname when he entered the NHL.
Well, nothing speaks to the magnitude of St. Louis’ retirement on Thursday after 16 season than the fact that Zuccarello gave him an Instagram send-off using the very meme he’s attempted to avoid for years.
Check out the Tolkien-esque celebration of Mats and Marty, a.k.a. Frodo and Samwise:
What, no Henrik Lundqvist as Aragorn and John Tortorella as Gollum?
T.J. Oshie was traded by the St. Louis Blues on Thursday to the Washington Capitals.
Whenever a fan favorite is sent packed, emotions will run high, and Oshie was certainly a favorite of Blues fans. Especially young ones, because he had really big eyes like an Anime character.
Like, for example, this five-year-old girl, who hid in a closet weeping upon finding out that “T.J. OSHIE LEFT THE TEEEEEEEEAM!!!!!”
Kelly Manno found her, and conducted this brief experiment in burgeoning fandom, as Manno discovered our young Oshie fan can’t accept the idea of rooting for him when the Capitals play the Blues … which is a level of dedication we’d expect from, say, a six year old.
This entire sub-genre of “Adult Sports Fans Filming Children Who Don’t Yet Have The Emotional Capacity To Deal With Loss” exists somewhere in between exploitation and guilty pleasure entertainment. We’ll just go ahead and assume this moppet is being filmed so her family can have a good-hearted chuckle when Troy Brouwer skates the Cup next June.*
* Provided he’s traded to the Blackhawks, of course.
T.J. Oshie, American hero, is headed to Washington, D.C.
The St. Louis Blues traded the winger to the Washington Capitals on Thursday in exchange for right wing Troy Brouwer, goaltender Pheonix Copley and a third-round pick in the 2016 NHL Draft. From the Caps:
“T.J. is an outstanding skater with a tremendous skill set,” said MacLellan. “He is a powerful player and has consistent track record of production throughout his career in the NHL. We feel that he complements our core group nicely and can help us get to the next level in achieving our ultimate goal. We also want to thank Troy for his contributions to our organization on and off the ice and wish him well in St. Louis.”
Oshie, 28, had 19 goals and 36 assists for the Blues last season in 72 games. He’s of course most famous for scoring in four of six shootout attempts in Team USA’s preliminary round win over Russia in the 2014 Sochi Olympics, which turned him into an overnight household name and remains the only thing worth a damn that Olympic team accomplished before sulking out of Russian sans medals.
Greg Wyshynski at Puck Daddy 4 days ago
The market was going to dictate Martin St. Louis’s future in the National Hockey League as a 40-year-old forward.
The market spoke, St. Louis heard it and decided that 16 seasons was long enough to call it a career, officially retiring from the NHL on Thursday.
“I have been blessed to play for 16 years in the NHL; it has been an amazing ride,” he said, through the New York Rangers, his final NHL team.
The winger split from the Rangers after the season, the team having acquired St. Louis from the Tampa Bay Lightning in 2014 in a blockbuster deal. He struggled offensively last season, with 21 goals and 31 assists in 74 games, the lowest offensive numbers he posted in nine years.
He retires after having been one of the most explosive point-producers on the wing in recent NHL history, despite being one of its most diminutive stars, at a listed height of 5-foot-8.
Fare thee well, Marty St. Louis. We’ll always remember your thighs.
Because we can’t un-see them.
Greg Wyshynski at Puck Daddy 4 days ago
Jack Eichel officially signed with the Buffalo Sabres on Wednesday, and has been hitting the town with the team to celebrate the arrival of their hockey savior.
That included a stop in Larkin Square, where Eichel exhibited a skill that may not have come to light at the NHL Combine: a joyous mastery of the hula hoop.
Seriously, look at this kid.
Shakira hips that simply do not lie, his arms flailing like he’s riding a wave, a look of gleeful satisfaction one normally associates with a well-told dirty limerick. Jack Eichel hula-hooping might be our new spirit animal.
This Vine alone proves that the Buffalo Sabres may have gotten the best player in the 2015 NHL Draft. Unless, of course, Connor McDavid is an absolutely wizard on the Pogo-Ball.