The Green Men are a staple at Vancouver Canucks games, mocking opponents in the penalty box with their unique brand of prop comedy. But not everyone’s a fan, apparently.

During Game 1 of the Western Conference quarterfinals on Wednesday night, the Green Men taunted San Jose Sharks defenseman Marc-Edouard Vlasic with some kind of fishing-inspired routine. CSN Bay Area announcers Drew Remenda and Randy Hahn responded with their own snark:

That’s Remenda calling the Green Men “40-year-old virgins” before opining that they must live in their mom’s basement, thus sullying the good name of bloggers around North America.

We would be interested in seeing their potholder and/or “rain globe” collections, however.

Score one for the Sharks announcers. We look forward to seeing how the Green Men answer back. And by that we mean, how many snow globes can one strategically place inside a green bodysuit?

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Before Game 1 of the Eastern Conference Quarterfinals against the Boston Bruins, Phil Kessel did the expected tap dance around his embarrassing performances against his former team since the infamous trade that brought him to Toronto in 2009.

“It’s been four years now. It’s another game,” he said.

Sure, just another game. Another game of ineffective play that’s the polar opposite of his stellar offensive numbers against the rest of the conference. Another game in which Kessel’s lack of offense was magnified by the offensive spark shown by the Bruins tasked with stopping him.

Boston won Game 1, 4-1, despite the Leafs jumping out to a 1-0 lead 1:54 into the game. Kessel was on the ice for that one, a power-play goal by James van Rimesdyk. He was invisible the rest of the game: One shot on goal, his only shot attempt in 13:51 of ice time – his lowest TOI since April 13, a 5-1 win over Montreal.

Contrast that with the line that took on his unit: Brad Marchand, Patrice Bergeron and Tyler Seguin. They didn’t tally a point, but they buzzed around the Leafs zone and set the tone for the Bruins: 23 shots attempted, including seven from Seguin, whom the Bruins drafted using one of the Leafs’ picks in the Kessel trade.

But more than anything, that line and the Bruins’ defense took away the seventh leading scorer in the NHL (52 points) away from the Leafs – yet again.

Things were chippy at the end of the New York Islanders’ 5-0 Game 1 loss at the Pittsburgh Penguins, with seven misconduct penalties handed out in the last 2:10 of the third period.

What sparked it: Marty Reasoner of the Islanders sticking his knee out on Jussi Jokinen of the Penguins.

Reasoner was given a 5-minute major for kneeing and a game misconduct.

The Penguins had already lost James Neal to injury earlier in the game; Jokinen had two assists in the game.

This one’s rather easy for Sheriff Shanahan and the Department of Player Safety. Reasoner stuck his leg out dramatically to clip Jokinen. His knee made contact with Jokinen’s leg.

There was only one suspension in 2013 for kneeing, and it was two games given to Taylor Hall for kneeing Cal Clutterbuck on Feb. 21.

One game for Reasoner would seem reasoner-able. Hey, at least he's used to being scratched.

The Pittsburgh Penguins showed their resiliency and depth in Game 1 vs. the New York Islanders, dominating the No. 8 seed and chasing Evgeni Nabokov despite not having captain Sidney Crosby in the lineup.

That depth might be further tested if James Neal misses any time with this injury:

Neal was checked by defenseman Travis Hamonic of the Islanders in the second period, crumpling to the ice afterward.

Some saw a slash along with the hit, but it appeared Neal’s ankle was injured on the collision. He skated another shift before his night ended. He would not return in the third.

Rookie Beau Bennett, who scored in the game, moved up to skate with Evgeni Malkin and Jarome Iginla. Tough gig, that one.

The Toronto Maple Leafs will play their first Stanley Cup Playoffs game since 2004 on Wednesday night, as they open their Eastern Conference Quarterfinals series at the Boston Bruins. Tens of thousands of blue-clad fans will fill watering holes around Ontario to watch the action and raise a glass to Reimer.

Question is, will they have to pay for that beer? Or do the offers not stand?

One of the great running gags for bars within the Maple Leafs’ empire, at least over the last decade or so, was to offer free libations during Toronto playoff games – knowing full well that a Leafs playoff game was about as likely as Phil Kessel offering a provocative sound-byte.

So … are these promotions still in effect now that the Leafs have finally made it back to the postseason, at places like the Iron Horse Bar in Cookstown?

We called them to find out.

Say, did you know the Boston Bruins once traded Phil Kessel to the Toronto Maple Leafs?

Kessel has outlasted the general manager who made the trade in Toronto, to the surprise of many. He’s one of the NHL’s best offensive players … except when he faces the Bruins, which is kind of a problem if you’re the Leafs.

Who wins this battle of division rivals?

When the Chicago Blackhawks defeated the Minnesota Wild in Game 1 of the Western Conference Quarterfinals on Tuesday night, you could sense the ecstasy wash over them after their overtime game winner.

Then again, according to Susannah Collins of CSN Chicago, the Hawks have had their share of ecstasy this season. A tremendous amount:

In fairness to Collins, this is probably a fair assumption for any team that has both Patrick Sharp and Patrick Kane on the roster.

For the record, Jonathan Toews doesn’t have “sex.” Sex has “Jonathan Toews.” He’s that good.

s/t Morning Freak Show

Getty ImagesIn which your friends at Puck Daddy attempt to pick the winners of the opening round and then the Stanley Cup.  The full schedule for the first round is here.

Greg Wyshynski, Editor

Penguins in 5
Senators in 6
Rangers in 7
Bruins in 6

Blackhawks in 5
Ducks in 7
San Jose in 6
St. Louis in 6

Stanley Cup Final: Blackhawks over Rangers in 5 games.

Conn Smythe: Jonathan Toews

It’s not that I don’t believe in the Penguins. I do. They’re as loaded with talent as any team in the NHL. But the idea of both favorites making it out of their respective conferences … I just can’t wrap my brain around that. So if the Blackhawks emerge from the West, and I think they will, someone needs to emerge from the East other than the Pens. And I think that team is the Rangers.

Why? Henrik Lundqvist in a shortened season could mean a more effective Lundqvist in the later rounds. I think Rick Nash becomes the playoff performer he was acquired to be, and that Brad Richards somehow finds that level of competition that he’s lacked all season. Add in (hopefully) Marc Staal and Derek Dorsett, and the Rangers could be that lower seed that catches fire.

But they can’t beat the Blackhawks. I’m not sure anyone can.

The Sens and Sharks pull first-round upsets; San Jose is a team I might have picked to come out of the West were they not the San Jose Sharks.