A little more than a month ago, we brought you the news that NBA All-Stars Carmelo Anthony and Chris Bosh would appear on an early season episode of the NBC mainstay "Law & Order: SVU." On Wednesday night, that episode aired, and it was quite the doozy.

The plot is as follows: A former high school basketball player and current junkie accuses a hugely successful coach (Dan Lauria of "The Wonder Years") of sexually abusing many of his players. An investigation follows, led by the usual "SVU" team, plus a new detective in place of the recently deposed Christopher Meloni. A bunch of really bizarre stuff happens, at which point it becomes clear that the coach also abused Prince Miller (Mehcad Brooks, aka Eggs from "True Blood"), an NBA star seemingly modeled after LeBron James, when he was a young boy. Miller eventually comes forward when he realizes that the coach is still abusing players and must be put away for good.

Melo and Bosh appear in only two scenes, and they couldn't be more

In our digital age, it's become quite easy to have fun playing basketball without having to step on a real-life court. Between "NBA 2K12" and WhatIfSports.com, maybe the lockout isn't so bad after all.

But what if you prefer analog basketball to these simulations? Is there any hope for you? Thanks to a special LEGO set, yes, there is. In the video above, witness perhaps the greatest LEGO creation since the Millennium Falcon box: a fully functional basketball court complete with an uneven floor for proper rolling, a few Stiga-style movement contraptions, and some sort of robot arm that allows players to block shots at the rim. There are also several player figures, including Steve Francis and several other miniature men that are unrecognizable on this crummy camera feed.

No matter the quality of this video, the greatness of this LEGO game is beyond reproach. Unfortunately, it's not available in stores, which is roughly analogous to telling a dog about a juicy steak and then informing

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One of the biggest joys of the NBA last season was watching L.A. Clippers rookie forward Blake Griffin dunk on opponents, cars, and pretty much anything that ended up in his immediate area. He was relentless, playing with fury and passion that defined his every move on the court. Griffin's game expanded as the season progressed, but his dunks were always the biggest draw.

Yet, for all the attention he got, he didn't dunk as regularly as two other players, one of whom was his own teammate. At the Warriors blog Golden State of Mind, the writer Evanz ran the numbers to figure out which players produce the most dunks, lay-ups, tip-ins and hook shots in the league (via PBT). Except, instead of using the raw totals, he did a little statistical work to figure out which players attempt the most dunks per 100 possessions of playing time. You can check out the full list at GSOM, but the top 10 is as follows, in order: DeAndre Jordan, Dwight Howard, Blake Griffin, JaVale McGee, Tyson Chandler, Ryan Hollins, Hakim Warrick, Andrew Bynum, Kenyon Martin and LaMarcus Aldridge.

No player, not even LeBron James, is as divisive among NBA fans as Kobe Bryant. Whereas opinions on LeBron vary from "he is a great talent who just hasn't won yet" to "he is a big dumb jerk," Kobe tends to be viewed as either the greatest champion of his time or basketball's greatest monster. There's rarely any middle ground, and even the haters who acknowledge Kobe's championships note that he couldn't do it without some of the best big man talent of the past 25 years. It's the NBA's version of an intractable political debate like the legality of Roe v. Wade.

Kobe's public profile is important context for the video above, a clip from this Sunday's premiere of the 23rd season of "The Simpsons." As a character voiced by Kiefer Sutherland explains his training in combat, a flashback begins of several training exercises involving legendary killers like Chucky, Pinhead and an ornery polar bear. Oh, and Kobe Bryant.

The best part is that appeals to Kobe haters and lovers a like. For his

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Player ratings in video games are a status symbol. Because games are created for a large audience, most of whom aren't NBA diehards, the ratings represent a general sense of who plays best and matters most in the league.

Tuesday, many of the player rankings for "NBA 2K12" were reported by several outlets, including @PastaPadre and the YouTube user NBA2K12stuff. The top player is no surprise: LeBron James checks in with a 98. After that, things get a little weirder; the rest of the top 10 (via EOB) includes Dwyane Wade (96), Kobe Bryant (94), Dwight Howard (93), Chris Paul (93), Kevin Durant (92), Derrick Rose (92), Carmelo Anthony (91), Deron Williams (90), and, in a tie for 10th, Russell Westbrook (88) and Amar'e Stoudemire (88). All were All-Stars last season, and it's certainly not controversial to suggest that they're among the best players in the league. Only Bryant seems wildly overrated -- he's still effective but not close to the third-best player in the NBA.

There is, however, one glaring omission from that list: reigning Finals MVP Dirk Nowitzki. After last June's championship, Dirk was finally acknowledged as the legend he's been for quite some time now. For once, public opinion was on his side. Yet, in the 2K12 ratings, he comes in at an 85, tied with Andre Iguodala and Blake Griffin, behind Rudy Gay (who missed several months of last season and the Grizzlies' playoff run with injury), and only one point ahead of Josh Smith and Monta Ellis. If you asked any NBA observer to rank that batch of players, Dirk would come out on top by a wide margin. So what happened with his ranking?

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On Monday, we informed you of the Nets' decision to keep the team's nickname when they move to the Barclays Center in Brooklyn in 2012. It was a smart move, both because the Nets name is very simple and for its general lack of controversy. Plus, it has that retro cache that Brooklyn loves so much.

However, the Nets will require new jerseys. In addition to the usual group of designers, the Nets' new uniforms will have input from one of their owners. The most famous one, too. From Rich Calder for the New York Post (via PBT):

Rap mogul Jay-Z — co-founder of the hip clothing line Rocawear — is working with Nets brass and Adidas to design uniforms for the team when it moves into the under-construction Barclays Center in Brooklyn next year, Nets officials told the Post yesterday.

Jay Z, Adidas and the Nets are currently ironing out a logo for the Brooklyn Nets and deciding what colors their uniforms should be.

No matter what, the logo will feature Brooklyn prominently because the club wants to tap into the borough's world-popular brand name, officials said.

The Nets' current logo features the word "Nets" hovering over a basketball.

It will be tough to top the genius of a team name hanging over the ball of their particular sport, but that is why they pay these designers the big bucks. I just hope someone told the artists that this is a basketball team and not a fishing business. That kind of confusion could lead to big problems.

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At this point, seemingly half the NBA is on Twitter. It's a wild world of training updates, questions as to which movies they should go see, and explanations of their Call of Duty prowess. Every so often, though, you also get a picture into the more interesting aspects of NBA life. This feature is your window into that world.

Stephen Curry: @jeremytyler3 looking like Bagger Vance in the front seat lolyfrog.com/h3vxbslj

Shawn Marion: I'm riding in my boy prius and he told me it's costs 28 bucks to fill it up and if he shake the car he can 30 lol it's gets 45mpg wow

Tyrus Thomas: Dude just asked me for my ID to show that I'm 17 to buy a video game.... I really didn't know how to respond... I just gave him this face

Samardo Samuels: I went too see JAY Z and his body guard was a a------ so I didn't get too meet him. Still play is music tho.

Danny Granger: To you people that liked Drive, get ur head examined and never comment on another movie please … The only thing that stopped

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If we've learned one thing about the NBA lockout over the past few months, it's that, no matter when a deal is finally reached, the entire process is going to take a while. The players and owners started too far apart and held too fast to their demands for anything to be resolved after only a few meetings. We can only hope that we don't miss a large portion of the season.

Apparently no one told former NBA superagent (and current regular agent) David Falk about these intractable disagreements. Armed with the powers of magick, or some other supernatural force, Falk thinks he could solve the lockout in just one day of meetings. From an interview with Toronto's The Fan 590, as transcribed by the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews (via PBT):

"There are no bad guys. I think that the owners are trying to change a system that they feel isn't working. Obviously there's a number of teams losing money. … The players are reluctant to give up gains made over a long period of time. So there are no bad guys. This is a difficult challenge, but this is what you hire agents for. In my career, which spans 37 years, I've never once had a player that I represented that I didn't make the deal. The agent for the owners is David Stern … and the agent for the players is Billy Hunter. It's their job, collectively, to get a deal done. … We all lose if there's no deal. [...]

"I volunteered. I've given both sides very, very specific suggestions on how to get over the hurdle. … I think that I could make this deal in one day, with either party. I really do. I know it sounds egotistical saying that, but I know all the owners well. … Obviously I've represented players for 37 years. … I'm disappointed that the young stars of the NBA today, the LeBron James, Kobe Bryant, Dwyane Wade, Dwight Howard, those guys need to be involved full-time, not part-time. … I think that they are allowing other people to determine their future financial fortunes, which is a terrible mistake."

There you have it: Falk is some kind of negotiating wizard whose mere presence can make dogs and cats fall in love with each other. I don't know exactly how he intends to move beyond the current impasse, but apparently "you guys should totally not be so mean and work it out" is the general concept.