(XAM Sports)

As Deadspin said, that's an extremely satisfactory headline. The picture you see here is of Rick and Teresa Kaepernick, the adoptive parents of San Francisco 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick, standing in front of a statue at the Pregame Tailgate Extreme Fanzone Sponsored By State Farm near the Georgia Dome.

And if you ever wondered why your mom told you to always wear clean underwear...

[Florio: Where will Alex Smith land next season?]

The statue shows a very large replica of a Falcons player giving Kaepernick a wedgie. You can also see that Mom is trying to comfort her replica son through the experience. We'll just have to see if Kaepernick gets a figurative wedgie in today's NFC Championship game against the Atlanta Falcons. Last Saturday, Kaeperick gave the entire city of Green Bay a major wedgie by setting an NFL record for rushing yards by a quarterback in a single game with 181, as the 49ers demolished the Packers, 45-31.

The Kaepernicks are to be commended for their good humor in this case. They also know how to stand up for their son when hack writers go after him for his tattoos -- which, as you can see, are NOT on the arms of the replica Kaepernick.

Jerome Boger is the man, but is he the best man? (Getty Images)

The NFL won't announce the names of the "all-star" crew set to officiate Super Bowl XLVII until the conference championship games have been decided, but reports from several sources indicate that Jerome Boger, a league referee since 2006, will get this year's assignment. ESPN's Adam Schefter reported this on Jan. 13, and FootballZebras.com, a respected site that covers pro-level officiating, had the report around the same time.

And according to FootballZebras.com, Boger's qualifications to call the biggest sporting event in America might be questionable at best. Or, if not Boger's qualifications, certainly the process by which referees are allowed to contend for the Super Bowl. Per the site, who talked with Michael Signora, the league’s vice president of football communications, “the criteria for referees to be eligible for the Super Bowl is three years experience as a referee [and five years total] and playoff experience as a referee. That criteria has not changed since at least 2007.”

In a follow-up e-mail to the site, Signora stated that “In order for an official at any position to be eligible for the Super Bowl, he must have at least five years of NFL experience and either a conference championship game assignment or a playoff assignment in the Wild Card or Divisional round in three of the past five years.”

[Also: 73 players granted special eligibility for 2013 NFL Draft]

Boger, however, had just two playoff games under his belt before the 2012 season, and FZ.com finally got to the bottom of the disparity when the league told the site that a referee specifically needs five years in the NFL as an official, three years as a referee, and just one playoff game. And according to the NFL, referees are the only officials held to that lower standard, in which only one playoff assignment is needed to qualify for the Super Bowl. Boger called the divisional game between the San Francisco 49ers and Green Bay Packers (which would be his third playoff game), but 2012 games aren't supposed to be part of that process, as it's common practice for the Super Bowl-assigned referee to call a divisional game.

Officials are graded through the season in order to determine playoff assignments, or at least, that's what the league tells us. But FootballZebras.com spoke with two officials -- one current and one former -- and each said independently that Boger had eight total downgrades on his 2012 evaluation. According to both men, who spoke on the condition of anonymity, eight downgrades in a season is enough to disqualify any official from postseason eligibility, never mind a Super Bowl assignment.

The league's evaluation process recently came into question when it was learned that Ed Hochuli, who the NFL likes to tout as perhaps its best official, would not work any postseason games at all -- he would work the Pro Bowl instead. We cannot confirm the alleged downgrades on Boger's evaluation, and we are not specifically casting aspersions on his ability or not to call a Super Bowl fairly and correctly. The process, however, has changed over the last few years, and this is where the NFL should provide clarification as quickly as possible.

[Also: Florio: Where will Alex Smith land next season?]

Cecil Shorts brings one in as Chicago's Tim Jennings looks on. (AP)

Ah, those mid-round rookie contracts. If a guy catches 55 passes for 979 yards and 7 touchdowns in an otherwise anemic offense, and he does so despite starting just nine games in a season, you'd think he'd be flush with cash. But for Jacksonville Jaguars receiver Cecil Shorts III, that's not been so. Despite a productive season in 2012 for a team that won just two games, Shorts is tied into the same CBA contract structure that prevents teams from re-negotiating with players in their first three NFL seasons. As a result, he's going to be one of the league's best values until the end of the 2013 campaign if he keeps on the same track.

That's why VIZIO picked Shorts to be one of the Top Value Performer finalists, along with Denver Broncos receiver Eric Decker ($490,000 base salary in 2012), New England Patriots running back Stevan Ridley ($509.250), Seattle Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson ($390,000), and Washington Redskins running back Alfred Morris ($390,000). Any of those salaries are pretty big-time in comparison with the average American salary, but in the context of the NFL? A relative pittance. Receivers have won the award in each of the last three seasons -- Steve Smith and Victor Cruz of the New York Giants in 2009 and 2011, respectively, and Buffalo's Stevie Johnson in 2010.

Cecil Shorts also starred at Mount Union. (AP)"VIZIO picked five guys that they felt outperformed their contracts," Shorts recently told Y! Sports. "I guess we don't get paid as much as some of the big stars do. They decided to pick five guys, and I was one of the lucky five to be picked based on my performance throughout the year. So it feels good to be noted for my success this year. Fans can go to http://www.vizio.com/tvp, and vote for me as many times as they'd like. I'm in second place right now behind a very good Russell Wilson, so we've got some voting to do."

Shorts may not beat Wilson, but he's certainly one of the NFL's best bargains. The Jags selected Justin Blackmon with the fifth overall pick in the 2012 draft, and gave him a four-year, $18.5 million contract that's fully guaranteed unless he gets suspended. In 2012, Blackmon caught 64 passes for 865 yards and five touchdowns. By any performance standard, Shorts, who signed a four-year, $2,672,146 contract after the Jags took him in the fourth round of the 2011 NFL Draft out of Mount Union, has more than earned his cash.

[Also: Did Spygate really help the consistent Patriots?]

Moreover, though his base salary seems like a relatively big deal if you're working a day job, Shorts has an additional financial complication. No Division III school offers athletic scholarships, so Shorts didn't get a full ride, and he's still paying off student loans that totaled about $70,000 when he left school.

The Falcons will have to deal with a lot of this. (Getty Images)

It's time to gear up for this Sunday's conference championship games with analysis from the best in the business -- Greg Cosell of NFL Films and ESPN's "NFL Matchup." Greg gives you a sense of the week's upcoming games you won't get anywhere else, based on his conversations with players and coaches past and present, and his OCD-level evaluation of coach's tape. We start with the San Francisco 49ers at the Atlanta Falcons, and finish off with the Baltimore Ravens at the New England Patriots. Who will make it to the Super Bowl? Here are the matchups.

The Shutdown Corner Conference Championship Preview Podcast with Greg Cosell

On how Atlanta's defense figured out the read-option against Seattle last week: "We always say on the 'Matchup' show that it's an update league, and [Falcons defensive coordinator] Mike Nolan did a terrific job of adjusting. We went back to Week 14 when they played Cam Newton, and they had a particular way of defending read-option concepts, and they were not effective. What they did against Seattle is that they basically took their two defensive ends, they stood them up, and they widened them out just a little bit. When they stood up, both defensive ends had better vision -- they could see more clearly into the backfield.

"Then, when the Seahawks ran read-option on 15 snaps, whichever side the option was supposed to go to, the defensive end just stood there -- he did not crash down inside at all. So, they removed the option from the read-option. The quarterback reads the defensive end -- if he crashes down inside, the quarterback runs to the outside. If the end stays where he is, the quarterback hands the ball off. So, every time the Seahawks ran the read-option, Russell Wilson handed the ball off -- 11 times to Marshawn Lynch, and four times to Robert Turbin. They did a super job of defending those runs as well -- 15 rushes, 56 yards. Russell Wilson never carried the ball once, because the Falcons removed the option."

Does Colin Kaepernick present different challenges? "The 49ers do it a little differently in that they do it out of the Pistol formation, so that means the back is behind the quarterback, not next to the quarterback as the Panthers did and as the Seahawks primarily do. The other element that is different and will be very interesting is that the 49ers tend to use a lead blocker on that outside defender. They don't just rely on the backfield action to be the determining factor. So, even if that outside defender is just standing there, they send a lead blocker at him. They'll likely have opportunities where Kaepernick -- by design -- will keep the ball, and the actual play call is a run for Kaepernick, because they'll block that outside defender."

The Shutdown Corner Conference Championship Preview Podcast with Greg Cosell

The Ravens refuse to play afraid against Tom Brady. (USAT Sports Images)

On how the Ravens' defense seems to attack Tom Brady differently than do other teams:

Jordan Rodgers, younger brother to Aaron, will get a chance to shine this weekend. (AP)

LOS ANGELES -- For the second straight year, the NFL Players Association will hold its Collegiate Bowl at the Home Depot Center in Carson, Calif. The game will take place on Saturday, Jan. 19. at 6:00 p.m. ET.

Several interesting names will take the field, including a couple of prospects whose last names have already made inroads into the NFL -- Vanderbilt quarterback Jordan Rodgers, younger brother of Aaron, and Wisconsin cornerback Marcus Cromartie, cousin of Dominque Rodgers-Cromartie and brother to Antonio Cromartie. Texas receiver Marquise Goodwin and Virginia Tech linebacker Bruce Taylor are worth keeping an eye on, as well.

Last year, the two coaches were Tom Flores and Dick Vermeil, who had last faced off in Super Bowl XV, when Flores' Oakland Raiders beat Vermeil's Philadelphia Eagles, 27-10 on Jan. 25, 1981. This year, Vermeil will go up against Herman Edwards, who he coached in that game, and who later coached the New York Jets and Kansas City Chiefs for a total of eight

Kyle Long quickly became a Chip Kelly favorite. (AP)

LOS ANGELES -- Oregon offensive lineman Kyle Long may share a last name and bloodline with his father, Hall-of-Fame defensive end Howie, and his brother, current St. Louis Rams defensive end Chris. He also shares a dream of playing in the NFL, but Kyle Long has gone about things a bit differently. Howie was a four-year standout at Villanova, and Chris was selected second overall by the Rams in 2008 NFL Draft after establishing a dominant pedigree at Virginia. Kyle has taken a far more circuitous route.

Once a fireballing pitching prospect who got a full ride to Florida State because of his 96-mph fastball, Long fell from grace when academic issues that forced him to leave school, and a DUI in January, 2009 that landed him a night in jail, had him at a crisis point. He returned home to his family, sorted himself out, and enrolled at Saddleback Junior College in Mission Viejo, Ca. There, he switched from pitcher to defensive line, and the young man who was deemed too big to play Pop Warner football grew into a force as a 6-foot-7, 300-pound pass rusher. Eventually, Oregon came calling, and head coach Chip Kelly saw Long as an offensive lineman. He used his final year of college eligibility to play well at two new positions -- left guard and left tackle -- in one of the most complicated offenses possible.

With a new life, a new grasp on the game, and a chance to impress at next week's Senior Bowl in Mobile Ala., the younger Long is training at Travelle Gaines' gym in West Hollywood under the supervision of Gaines and former offensive line coach Tony Wise, who ran the lines for Jimmy Johnson at Miami and with the Dallas Cowboys, and most recently did the same for Dave Wannstedt at Pitt.

Now, the question is, how will a one-year Division I O-line prospect fare in the draft evaluation process? At 311 pounds, Long looks to take the scouting combine by storm, but as Wise told me, mastering the line -- especially at the next level -- is technique and leverage, not just size and speed.

Long (74) clears the way for Kenjon Barner against Stanford. (USAT Images)

"He's not a classic offensive lineman," Wise said. "Sometimes, you get offensive linemen, and that's all they've done. They've never done another sport, which is a hindrance to them. That's one of the reasons he's such a good athlete -- he's done other things. He's got very good reach, and he's got heavy hands -- we talk about the ability to deliver a blow with his hands. He's got very good explosion off the line, and he's smart enough. So, I would say it's all positive.

"The biggest thing I try to do is to get him ready for the Senior Bowl. How does practice go? How do meetings go? What's expected of you, and the drills you're going to be in. I've coached that a couple of times, so I know the routines. So, bring him into that, and then expose him to more pass protections. Now, he's going to possibly get into a more conventional offense, where he'd be in a huddle and a three-point stance -- those types of things."

Gaines, who's responsible for accentuating the physical prowess of the same kid that Howie Long once said had more pure athletic potential than anyone else in the family, said that Long's future starts with athleticism that is very rare for any lineman.

Long's Oregon linemates helped him adjust to a very complex offense. (USAT Images)

"Kyle has a rare combination of size, strength, and speed, and football's a game where they want very big men to run very fast," Gaines said. "Those guys are few and far between, and this is the kind of skill set he brings to a team. With Kyle, you have his height, weight, and 40 time. He will most likely be one of the faster linemen at the NFL combine this year. Then, you have a kid who has to be intelligent, because he played in a very complicated offense after showing up in the fall. No spring ball, no nothing. Showed up in the fall and was able to pick up and play different positions on offensive line in that fast-paced offense. He understands tilts, shades and gaps. He has a lot of football knowledge, and having one of the greatest football players ever as a father, and one of the most dominant current football players as a brother has helped out a lot. From a standpoint of ... just talking football and having resources at your disposal. He brings an athletic ability from a pedigree of very great football players."

Long agreed that getting all that football knowledge -- through osmosis as much as specific tutoring -- has been a big help in this transition.

"I come from a family that has a knowledge of this process, and it's been a real blessing," Long said. "Through the last few months, and into the next few months, I'll continue to lean on my support system. Growing up in that family, you hear about football, you see a lot of football, you play some football, and I've always kept my ears open to what [his father] has to say, and what my older brother has to say about the game. You make mental notes on things, and you slowly accumulate your own wisdom of the game -- a lot of stuff about life and preparation."

Long's DUI years ago will no doubt come up in Senior Bowl and scouting combine interviews with NFL teams, but it's important to note, especially in the wake of the bizarre Manti Te'o deception (or whatever it turns out to be), that Long owned his mistake. As Gaines put it, Long wants to use what he did wrong as a testimonial to others who may stray away from the path.

Kenjon Barner and Chip Kelly get ready to light it up. (Getty Images)

LOS ANGELES -- Of all the reasons Chip Kelly took the Philadelphia Eagles' head-coaching position after he swore he was staying at Oregon, perhaps the most compelling rationale was the need to strike while the iron was hot. With the success of college transplants like Jim Harbaugh and Pete Carroll, and as the schemes and tempo favored by Kelly start to find their way to the NFL, Kelly may be of the belief that there's no better time than now.

Whatever personnel holes he may have as he tries to being that fast-paced, wide-open offense to the NFL, Kelly knows from his dealings with current NFL coaches that his system is already nearly impossible to stop when it's working correctly. It certainly worked with the New England patriots, who peppered Kelly with questions about the many facets of an offense that plays at a ridiculous tempo and spreads its opponents more thinly -- both literally and figuratively -- than most in the game. The Pats modified this approach as the 2012 season progressed, but it was very clear early on that they were merging with Kelly's concepts by running a dizzying number of plays with receivers wide outside the numbers.

The misperception, however, is that Kelly is simply a spread-offense guru of gimmickry, unable to bend to specific NFL realities. According to his players at Oregon both past and present, Kelly understands the modifications he'll need to make at the next level. Seattle Seahawks center Max Unger, who played for Kelly when Kelly was Oregon's offensive coordinator in 2007 and 2008, told me last November that the seeming inevitability of Kelly's NFL ride shouldn't worry those who believe he won't adapt.

"Chip's offense isn't necessarily set in stone," Unger said. "The reason he's so good is that he can adapt to the players he has, and create the offense around what they do well. If -- and I think when -- he eventually goes to the NFL, I think it's going to be a matter of finding the offense that works well with the personnel that he has. I don't necessarily see him doing a total ... the same exact offense he has now. It will be interesting. If he goes and when he goes, I'll be bummed [for Oregon]. But he's a very, very good coach."

Kenjon Barner, who ran for 1,767 yards in Kelly's 2012 offense, was just as sure that his former coach will be able to do what needs to be done. Though Oregon's set of schemes didn't have backs pass-blocking in traditional ways, Barner told me, it was always a focus at practice -- intimating that there are aspect to what Kelly does that you didn't always see on Saturdays.

"I've said it time and time again -- I've never been around a coach, or known of a coach, who has the type of mind that Coach Kelly has," Barner said during preparation for next week's Senior Bowl. "When it comes to football, especially offensive football, the man's a genius. You have different coaches who are already in the NFL pulling at him and trying to pick his brain on the read-option offense, there's no better time for him. In my mind, he's the originator of this, and him being with the Eagles, I feel that he already has prime pieces to the puzzle, and he can be very successful there.

"I don't see that transition being a problem -- I think he'll be great."

Some would say that the read/speed/zone-option offense is a gimmick that the NFL will figure out as it did the Wildcat. Those who have run Kelly's combination of spread concepts and furious tempo respond simply: Good luck.

"To everyone looking from the outside, it seems so simple," Barner said. "They don't see the intricate details of what really goes on with one particular play. So, anyone looking at it like it's a gimmick and it won't work, you're completely wrong. There's no situation [Kelly] comes across that he can't adapt to -- he's mastered the ability to adapt, and to change his ways to fit a situation. It won't be a problem for him."

One thing that Unger and Barner thought might give Kelly's players in the NFL pause is the tempo with which he runs practices and games. NFL players -- even those in traditional no-huddle offenses -- will understand that it's quite a bit different when you're going full-blast like that in the pros.

"It's not something that you can do all of a sudden, and just pick up and do it," Barner said.

If Manti Te'o thought the media crush was bad before... (USAT SPORTS Images)

After Notre Dame was beaten, 42-14 by the Alabama Crimson Tide in the BCS Championship game, the draft stock of linebacker Manti Te'o took some pretty serious hits in the scouting community. Thought to be the kind-of every-down thumper with coverage skills that would propel him into the top 10 of the 2013 NFL Draft, Te'o was exposed as a decent, rangy defender with serious problems beating blocks and manning up against larger, more fundamentally sound players. Still, it was thought, Te'o's character would keep him up in the draft roll in ways that his sheer physical talent might not.

Now, with Deadspin's news that the death of Te'o's girlfriend was allegedly a hoax, NFL personnel people will have to approach the 21-year-old linebacker with a measuring stick they've never had to use before. Usually, the NFL's best scouting minds are left to deal with physical and mental attributes as they apply to the game. What are they to do with a story -- whether it was created and perpetrated by Te'o or not -- that would put him in the crosshairs of one of the biggest and strangest scandals in sports history.

In a nutshell, and per Deadspin, here's what happened: In mid-September, it was reported that Te'o's girlfriend, 22-year-old Lennay Marie Kekua, died of leukemia in September. It happened the same week that Te'o lost his grandmother, Annette Santiago. Te'o went out in his next game after the dual tragedies and amassed a season-high 12 tackles against Michigan State in a 20-3 win, leading writers all across the country to praise his strength and character.

"It was hard," Te'o said after the game. "But I had my family around me. At the end of the day, families are forever."

Here's the problem. According to the Deadspin report, there is no SSA record of a Lennay Marie Kekua, no official funeral notice in Nexus or the Stanford student newspaper. To further summarize the extent of the hoax, here's what Deadspin came up with:

Nor is there any report of a severe auto accident involving a Lennay Kekua. Background checks turn up nothing. The Stanford registrar's office has no record that a Lennay Kekua ever enrolled. There is no record of her birth in the news. Outside of a few Twitter and Instagram accounts, there's no online evidence that Lennay Kekua ever existed.

The photographs identified as Kekua—in online tributes and on TV news reports—are pictures from the social-media accounts of a 22-year-old California woman who is not named Lennay Kekua. She is not a Stanford graduate; she has not been in a severe car accident; and she does not have leukemia. And she has never met Manti Te'o.

Soon after the story broke, Notre Dame Assistant Vice-President Dennis Brown released a statement via the school's football page on Facebook:

On Dec. 26, Notre Dame coaches were informed by Manti Te’o and his parents that Manti had been the victim of what appears to be a hoax in which someone using the fictitious name Lennay Kekua apparently ingratiated herself with Manti and then conspired with others to lead him to believe she had tragically died of leukemia. The University immediately initiated an investigation to assist Manti and his family in discovering the motive for and nature of this hoax. While the proper authorities will continue to investigate this troubling matter, this appears to be, at a minimum, a sad and very cruel deception to entertain its perpetrators.

In his Wednesday afternoon statement: Te'o said that he was the victim of a cruel online hoax.

This is incredibly embarrassing to talk about, but over an extended period of time, I developed an emotional relationship with a woman I met online. We maintained what I thought to be an authentic relationship by communicating frequently online and on the phone, and I grew to care deeply about her.

To realize that I was the victim of what was apparently someone's sick joke and constant lies was, and is, painful and humiliating.

It further pains me that the grief I felt and the sympathies expressed to me at the time of my grandmother's death in September were in any way deepened by what I believed to be another significant loss in my life.

I am enormously grateful for the support of my family, friends and Notre Dame fans throughout this year. To think that I shared with them my happiness about my relationship and details that I thought to be true about her just makes me sick. I hope that people can understand how trying and confusing this whole experience has been.

In retrospect, I obviously should have been much more cautious. If anything good comes of this, I hope it is that others will be far more guarded when they engage with people online than I was.

Fortunately, I have many wonderful things in my life, and I'm looking forward to putting this painful experience behind me as I focus on preparing for the NFL Draft."

It's certainly worth reading the Deadspin story, and any forthcoming asides to this story, because one gets the sense that this tale is just beginning. And it's important to note, above all, that we have no earthly idea what really happened at this point.

When it comes to Te'o's draft process, however, questions from NFL teams will come thick and fast, because everyone's going to have a different side to this story. Right now, we are left with two possible options: Either Te'o was involved in this hoax, which would take his character level down to Ryan Leaf levels. Or, he was duped in a major way ... and without trying to sound cruel, that's going to cast aspersions on his in-game and off-field intelligence, not to mention the specter of potentially shady characters in his life. No team wants that, at any position, and it takes a supernatural talent to overcome those issues in the minds of most NFL teams. In addition, teams will wonder, why was Te'o quiet about this hoax if he knew of it for weeks? And finally, how will he explain, or possibly reconcile, the stories indicating that Te'o met Kekua in person?